July 2nd, 2006

God sez: STOP!

neojess is dealing with bad fanfic.

(Locked post in brps_adult, QWP)

Three out of four of their remaining players (hey, alienate 7 out of 11, and that's what you get) proceed to dive in and write fanfic of this - badly. I mean, if I wanted to read shitty writing that was obviously done while someone diddled themselves, that's what Anne Rice is for.

The whole post is funny. Obviously, you want to join.
The look of love
  • orejen

Spray Paint

total_static talking about his job in paint/home decor section of a store in customers_suck here: http://community.livejournal.com/customers_suck/17242535.html

"It also seems that now, at least once a week, someone comes into the store, goes to the spray paint aisle, and spraypaints his name on the floor. EVERY WEEK. And the fact no one has caught him yet boggles my mind. This guy must be a classically trained ninja or something."

(I would recommend following the thread and reading the comments that ensued.)
  • Current Music
    Nickleback-Savin' Me

eillwony ponders respecting the flag

Ok... here's one of the prohibitions concerning flag use:

Never use the flag for advertising purposes, as drapery, linens or as clothing, or print it on items soon to be discarded.

This only makes the irony of the 300-lb woman in the American flag bikini ranting about how it's disrespectful to burn the flag more poignant. Personally, I suspect that if the flag had a choice, it'd rather be burnt than stuffed up the foul recesses of that woman's crotch.

QWP, of course.

canadianevil's family has some interesting religious practices

Because mice are demonic, yanno

The Great Mouse Exorcism
So about ten minutes ago, my brother banged on my door and yelled 'CHLOE! WE GOTTA CHASE MICE!'

I was like '...wtf', turned off my Rammstein, and headed downstairs, wondering loudly WHY we had to chase mice, HOW we were going to chase mice, and WHERE we were going to chase mice to.

Well, surprised was I when I came into the living room and Father Mark was standing there in his epatrichelion, holy water out, and everyone's around him. Apparently, we were doing a mouse exorcism.

Well, booyah.

I had a hard time not laughing through the prayers. Especially because my mother gave me the most disapproving look, like 'WHY ARE YOU DOUBTING THIS? MICE CAN BE CHASED OUT THROUGH PRAYER!'

I survived, though. And then Father Mark went around and sprinkled everywhere with holy water- most panicked room cleaning ever, by the way- and that was that.

The power of Christ compels 'em. Out, out, you damned rodents.
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    amused amused
My Face

lady_of_water provides us with a s'more ritual and the science of cooking one after a hurricane.

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Marshmallow properly skewered, thou must then light the candle while rocking back and forth -- SLOWLY! -- and reciting praises unto the Goddess in honor of thy bountiful hunt.

Then, praises duly sung and marshmallow properly skewered, thou must very carefully toast the marshmallow on the candle flame. (This will be explained in scientific detail at the end of the post)

Then, being nicely toasted and the praises duly sung and the marshmallow properly skewered, thou must take up thy Holy Jar of Nutella, That Which Is Blessed By The Goddess On High, and open it. With much reverence and awe. Then, thou must taketh up thy athame of kitchenry and say "As this jar is the numminess, so is this athame the wielder of numminess, and joined they bring happiness."

Then, nutella opened and marshmallow nicely toasted and praises duly sung and marshmallow properly skewered, thou must lower thy athame of kitchenry into the Holy Jar of Nutella, That Which Is Blessed By the Goddess On High And Opened With Much Reverence and Awe, and then thou must lift thy athame of kitchenry out of the Holy Jar of Nutella, That Which Is Blessed By The Goddess On High and Opened With Much Reverence and Awe, and spread the nutty goodness on the mini marshmallow.

THEN, the marshmallow being correctly seasoned and the nutella opened and the marshmallow nicely toasted and praises duly sung and marshmallow properly skewered, thou must put it into thy mouth and eat it.

That is all.Collapse ) Context is here.
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