July 1st, 2006

agent may is unimpressed

Very Fractured Fairy Tales

So when her tired feet, battered ankles, and torn hose went from being too cute to too pathetic, [Snow White] stopped for the night, trespassing in what seemed to be a house owned by very resourceful midgets..er, excuse me, little people...and eating their food and sleeping in like, 4 of their beds, because they WERE of Japanese descent and possibly wore angelic pretty all of the time, because the beds were way tiny.

[T]he house was owned by 7 small men who,when they returned to their domicile, proceeded to gasp at the large piece of jailbait ass in their collective beds and hid webcams all over the house, but not before lifting her skirt and taking pictures for their own use. Except Dopey, who ejaculated into her shoe, because he had a fetish like that.

--good_night tells a bedtime story.

F-locked, QWP, user's AIM name edited out
Red Dwarf, eww, that's so wrong, wtf
  • cmzero

poor_toms_acold gets confused by a mazto ball recipe.

Let's back this up a bit, because I don't feel like I've really grasped the concept here. Dividing the mixture into eight balls and simmering them in salted water will result in 18 balls? What the hell happens in that salted water? Do they divide asexually, like cells, certain types of amoeba and politicians? Please, someone, shed light on this miracle of science, because quite frankly I'm a little scared to try the recipe out in case evolution occurs in my kitchen. I'm not sure we're insured for that.

safe sex, bad puns

(no subject)

dindin learns something new at work:

dooood. Apparently the U.S. Government has a FIST. (FAA Information Superhighway for Training).

Well that makes sense considering we've all been getting it up the ass for so long...

That's basically the whole post, and it's QWP'd.
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper

ringlass doesn't like Lance Armstrong.

Yes, he's a demigod cyclist, a consummate competitor, an inhuman athlete, a cancer survivor, a huge fundraiser for vital medical research, a symbol of hope, a mentor for untold millions, a reasonably intelligent/articulate guy, the personal deity to both my friend and a family member of mine, a strangely alluring fellow, a published author, and probably a good little boyscout who cuddles old women and helps kittens cross the street, but none of these things exempt him from Interview Rule #1: When you run out of things to say, STOP and WAIT for the next question. Don't just KEEP TALKING. *facepalm* Oh, and he's also funny looking. *ducks* There, biznatchles! I said it!

QWP, from here: http://ringlass.livejournal.com/187010.html