June 20th, 2006

RHCP -- Dani California

(no subject)

From my friend Erin, who is complaining about some chick at school trimming her nails near her desk.

"SHE WAS TRIMMING THEM WITH SCISSORS. And not those special nail tool scissors either. I'm talkin' full on adult scissors. Like, the kind only the teacher had in elementary school, while all us kids were stuck with those damnable safety scissors that couldn't cut for shit?"

Context: http://kidx4.livejournal.com/11177.html
like you would know, don't go there, star trek

BPAL is duh debil!

shadesong is exploring the joys of BPAL:

Black Forest: This is the captured scent of a cold, moonless night, lost deep within the darkest wood. Haunting and desolate, this scent evokes images of fairy tale tragedy and half-remembered nightmares. Thick, viscous pine with ambergris, black musk, juniper and cypress.

In bottle: Yep. There's trees in that there bottle.

On me: Wooooyeah. Many trees. It's not the pine that's predominant on me. Juniper and cypress do battle for dominance, finally giving up and having sex, intermingling happily. Oh, hey, there's some pine and musk in the afterglow!

No one tree-scent is truly predominant. It truly is like being in a forest. At night. This is nice. Adam's not sure if he likes it. "Smells like nature," he says. "I can't smell the city!" Poo on city-dweller Adam. I love it.


QWP'd, in a very smell-y post
Scandalous!

Colbert/Pitt OTP!

"If "Stephen Colbert" were gay. Which he isn't? He would totally go for Brad Pitt in Fight Club. In fact he's thrown out five copies of that film, only to find it back in his dvd player on Friday Nights.

I love the Colbert Report. Oh so much. Almost, but not quite as much as I love the entirely unhuman abdominal muscles of Brad Pitt in Fight Club."
-norabombay loves her Right Wing commentators.

Context has to take a cold shower: http://norabombay.livejournal.com/731128.html
Silver Dragon
  • kalium

Oh, what a nice warm glow

You would think that being Ye Crazy Singaporean, I would shrug off any temperature above twenty-five degrees Celsius with a sardonic laugh, the same sort of laugh Grand Moff Tarkin must have uttered as Rebel fighters swarmed the Death Star and his aides looked at him in alarm as though he had swallowed a Bothan.

We will laugh even as hellfire rains upon us. "Oh, what a nice warm glow," we might say, basking in its unholy flicker. "Would you happen to have any more?" And our attackers would slink away in defeat and despair, planning for their next strike with freeze rays and ice beams and snowballs. But no more flames of doom, even if there is plenty of damnation. Unlike so many others, we do expect the Spanish Inquisition.

dkellis has a broken Air Conditioner, and awaits the coming of the Air-Conditioned Messiah here. QWP. Read the entire post, it's funny.
Psycho but Cuddly
  • orejen

Being a Vet Tech to birds means dealing with owners

This is from the customers_suck and was posted by sherrasama and you can read the whole thing here: http://community.livejournal.com/customers_suck/17031851.html

"Note to crazy nazi lady: laughing at a joke about your parrotlets being buffalo wings does NOT mean I will eat them! I work at this place because I love birds! And their delicious chewy centers, according to you. Also, making cracks about my overweightness in more of that teeth-melting acid voice of yours was totally unwarranted. Yeah, right, I got overweight deep-pan frying the macaws and making chicken strips out of the naked baby birds in the incubators. What the f*** ever."

(I did censor one word as I didn't feel like doing an lj cut, I hope that is acceptable.)
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    chipper chipper
shot.

anja13 sends a heartfelt message to certain uncooperative body parts...

In short, there is already enough spazzing, emo, and insanity coming from the Serotonin and Benzodiazepine Receptors. Please be a team player and support your part of the group, otherwise we will have to remove you. Yes, this even includes early morning exercise.

Context can be a good thing. The post is locked, but this is quoted with permission. Never mind.
confused

"I'm still writing 5765 on my cheques..."



budgie_uk jokes about the Jewish calendar and gets an unexpected response.

To my utter astonishment, one of the other forum members asked in apparently all seriousness:

Do you really not use the Gregorian calendar?

It took me aback, to be honest. Pretty much everyone knows my day job of Director of Finance (US: CFO), and also that I'm hardly that religious anyway. My response could only therefore be:

Indeed. Nor do I post on the Sabbath. Furthermore, following the requirements in Lev 19:19, I'd never post in "two different threads".




ETA: Friends locked, but now QWP. *facepalm*
Shake Djibouti

(no subject)

Ha, amphritie had to go through the horrors of the Sixth Grade Play, and left with this:

last friday, lewis and clark were turning in their graves, or quite possibly, break-dancing, becasue their memories and legacy and all that stuff they left to the American people pretty much went down the tubes at my Small Sister's sixth-grade musical.

Small Sister(the tallest person onstage): leeeewis and claaark! amer-i-can men!!
Several Tiny People of Indeterminate Gender Dressed as Prairie Dogs: Bark! Squeak!
Many Dozen Tiny Humanoids Wearing 'Pioneer Clothes':leeeegacyyy!!
Girl-ish Tiny Human, dressed as "Thacajawaya": Im-a-gine me! Lea-der of men! As we tra-vel on..the dus-ty plains! *promptly forgets the rest of the words to the song and just stands there while the music keeps playing*

I know her pain all too well
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    amused amused
1776 - NY abstains...courteously

Con drinking

ursulav comes back with a lovely con report, including
I drank a lot more than I usually do at a Con, which was due entirely to people at the Sofawolf party. This very nice German man with a charmingly broken accent and a rather nice business suit (not a common fixture at furry convention parties) came up and offered me a shot of Jägermeister. (He was actually a salesman for Jägermeister.) I have a distinct memory of saying "No, no, I don't really drink--" and then he said "No, no! Is like medicine!" and nodding with utter sincerity, and suddenly there was this shot in my hand, and I thought "My god! Refusing to drink this would be like kicking a puppy in a business suit!" and the next thing I knew, it was burning a hole in my innards. "You're a very good salesman," I told him. He grinned like a shark in a puppy suit.

I have friends who have expended hours of their lives trying to coax me into taking even a sip of beer, and all it takes is a nice German man who will look hurt if I refuse.

I must avoid Oktoberfest at all costs.

Having thus established myself on the road to debauchery, I had--gasp!--TWO WHOLE GLASSES of white wine the next day during dinner. The rum and Coke the day after that was just the icing on the cake. (Yeah, I'm a wild woman...) My liver, who's yearly alcohol intake resembles the annual rainfall of the drier bits of the Gobi desert, is probably reeling in this unexpected alcoholic monsoon and has convinced the spleen to help it build an ark for the coming apocalypse.
Context for the few LJ souls who don't have her on your flist yet
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    amused amused