He should look into some therapy. It's never too late.
QWP from this flocked post but this is the whole entry.
[commenting on a horrible local news story]
Why does all this crazy shit happen in my home state? Florida is like a witches brew of insanity. It's filled with the weirdest fucking people. Not "Holly-weird", like look at how crazy & kooky I am with my Burning Man outfit and my Kaballah. More like, wanna see my collection of human pineal glands? Completely unassuming seemingly normal people will be caught doing something ridiculous like raping a tree or cutting off the arms of homeless people.
It's probably the water, which I don't drink.
"I wish Gems had a more clever scale of measuring quality and stuff. Like how Hail is measured in Golfballs and piranha eating speed is measured in cows.. Maybe they should measure gem weight in blowjobs... 'Thats a fine Diamond there, Chuck. You should be getting 8 good nights of head for that one!'" - tarpo
Job hunting is like fishing, except you're doing it in some huge tourist infested lake that has been overfished. Sitting around waiting for a bite is the applications part, the resume is the bait, the reeling in is the interview, and the part where you find the fish is undersized and throw it back is all the jobs you think you've gotten but they fall through at the last minute. And all the annoying tourists catching things is everyone that seems to have their life in control. And contracts are... carp. There's a lot, and they're relatively easy to get, but they taste like vomit and won't feed you well, plus you can't live off them in the long-term.
Oh! And recruitment agencies are the big trawlers that go through the lake before everyone gets there and net everything, then try to sell it back to everyone at an inflated price!