June 14th, 2006

Matrix Largo

Back in the Day

mlejayne is programming old school style:

I have decided to learn how to write simple programs for my Commodore 64, in hope that that will help me learn how to deal with actionscript, which is kind of like buying a dog to help me understand my cat.

A bit later:

By the way, are 5 1/2 floppy disks still in production? Or do I need to build a time machine and go back to the 80's?
Tooth Fairy

amalthya works a chimp halfway house in the Democratic Republic of Congo. And she shops.

Thank you for shopping at Amazon Congo. We appreciate your purchase of


3 Green Peppers


for 200 Francs (50 cents)


Based on your recent purchase, our affliates (read: other street vendors) have made some recommendations of things that they are sure you would like to purchase:


Dirty Used Kitchen Dishtowel
Men's Underpants
Bottle of Soda
"Donnez-Moi L'Argent"


We hope that you find these recommendations helpful based on your recent purchases that that you will continue to shop at Amazon Congo.

Sincerely,
The Amazon Congo Team
lc dark arts

Tech Support for drama queens

I was having a mild spyware issue yesterday and, when I asked for advice, booklady observed:

A friend who works in tech support told me that issuing a sufficiently defeated-sounding sigh in the vicinity of the affected computer will often cause the problem to go away. You have to sound like you really mean it, though.
Jesus Buttsex Ghastly Chick Boy

God/MaryOTP4EVAH!!!1111

It's quite astonishing that this essay by flamingsword hasn't been MQ'ed after three days:

As Kathy Mar sings, "Humans wrote the Bible, God wrote the world." And that's deep and everything, but as a corollary that means that the Bible is fanfiction...[and] Jesus is the biggest Mary-Sue ever.
[...]
Which means that religious wars are fandom wank. And isn't "Christianity" just a candy-coated way of saying, "I ship God/Mary non-con/chan-preg"?


rexluscus had a particularly choice response to this, as well:

It makes the Judaism/Christianity/Islam conflict so clear to me now: the latter two are just a couple of snotty Suethors who think they have the better OMC, and they both hate Judaism because Judaism brings the OC-hate and only has time for fic about canon characters.
Captain Sarcastic

(no subject)

misia, in an open post, says:

I had it confirmed that the Ick under which I have been suffering is in fact not a bacterial one, just a two-stage MegaLurgy that causes +4 damage in its initial pharyngitis phase, but +8 damage in its secondary bronchial phase. Estimated duration of MegaLurgy, should one be unsuccessful with one's saving throws, is 5-7 days.
TP - Lucy What!?

"My Savage Breasts"

littera_abactor shares the trauma that is shopping for bras
It's official, y'all: my boobs require their own zip code.

In college, I had a boyfriend who was a boob man. Actually, that seems like much too mild a statement, sort of like calling a lifelong three-packs-a-day smoker a dabbler in the nicotine arts. He just...he really loved big boobs. So when I'd buy a new bra, he'd come over and gloat. "Wow, four hooks! You're HUGE!" he'd say enthusiastically, and I'd want to hurt him.

Thank god I didn't marry him. Thank you, thank you, thank you, god. Because if he'd been here today, he'd be writhing on the floor right now, while I stood over him and said, "Wow! How convenient! Your balls just detach!"

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There is more hilarity and tit!solidarity in the comments, including helpful hints on where to find bras if you're at either extreme of the breast-size spectrum.