June 6th, 2006

middleman

anadriel ruminates on the civilizations of my floor

Let them propagate. It'll be like playing Spore, without having to wait. Besides. If someone destroyed YOU while you were in the middle of the effing Bronze age, you'd probably open a can o`whoopie-goldberg style whoop ass all over them shits.

So remember that, statistically speaking, there is at least ONE organism in that civilization that has been enlightened and understands the Zen of Whoopassery.

Or, if there is none, you could teach them. And have a gaggle of devoted whoopastians for a while, and then giggle as the Age of Enlightenment hits, and they discover Science, and denounce you. Some of them will, anyway. Others will stay strong in the faith.

But then you'd have a ji`had on your hands.

Correction.

On your floor.


QWP, from my post here.
nice doggy

jayboitn's "State Of The Nation" epiphany

An amazing thing happened to me the other morning while reading the local newspaper. With much concern I read of the quagmire in Iraq, spiraling trade and budget deficits, millions of Americans without health insurance and a public education system which ranks in the lowest tier among industrialized nations. It was then that I heard a voice.

The voice told me that we could solve these problems by passing some very simple constitutional amendments. These amendments would include bans on same-sex marriages, flag burning, the teaching of evolution and a mandate making English the official language.

As the voice faded, I had time to reflect and think. I then realized that these amendments would not educate our children, provide them health care, free them from the enormous debt we are accruing or protect them from terrorists.

Abruptly, the voice spoke again and much louder this time. All reason and independent thought vanished. The voice told me that I was better than everyone else and that regardless of results (or trivialities like facts and truth) I would still have the satisfaction of standing in the public square, proudly pounding my chest as an English-speaking, patriotic, God-fearing heterosexual.

One can only wonder which entity spoke to me that morning . . .







F'locked 'n' QPD, sauce: http://jayboitn.livejournal.com/360519.html
Rajah

My first Metaquote - be gentle. ;-)

rmjwell enlightens us with the REAL reasoning behind the Bush Administration's actions. Ever.
QWP from This Post - Go to the source!

"When you think about it, the Bush administration has three basic explanations for everything:

  • Queer marriage
  • September 11th
  • I'ts all Clinton's fault

Their wet dream (if Republican's have wet dreams) would be finding out that high gas prices are the result of Hilary Clinton's secret lesbian marriage. On 9/11.


Although, it does make sense that the current regime is so gung-ho for heterosexual marriage given that we've got Bush and Dick in the White House.


Your handy "Besmirching the Presidency" scorecard; clip and save.

On George Bush's watch we've had foreign terrorists destroy the World Trade Centers; seen the White House's corporate friends and supporters go to jail over fraud charges that decimated a state's economy; and gone to war because the President apparently has Oedipal issues.

Bill Clinton, on the othe hand, lied about getting a blow job in the Oval Office.

So from this we can conclude that-- Hey, look over there! Some gays want to get married!"
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
MoodGravity

Mutual of Waterha?

misia reports an encounter in the wild with a Trophywifeus expensivus she identifies from which this excerpt is taken:


And I finish that exercise and I stand up, so now most of me is above the waterline. The woman looks me up and down and then says "Have you been doing aquacize for long? Does it *work*?"

"I've been doing it on and off for about 15 years, yeah," I say, because it's true.

She looked skeptically at my belly and then seemed to eye my upper arms (which, yes, come equipped not only with significant biceps and triceps but also with HiHelens, the swag-like bits that keep on waving hello even after you've finished calling "Hi, Helen!" to your friend across the way).

"As for whether it works?" I continued, "I suppose that all depends on what you're looking for. You know how water animals, seals and walruses and whales and stuff, all have blubber?"

She nodded.

"Well, that's what this is really great for. Most people don't know this, but if you do a lot of swimming, the blubber comes on real nice and thick, exactly how it does for whales and seal lions. You should see how much more buoyant you get. It's great if you swim a lot."



Read the entire encounter here.
aladdin - pretty jasmine

In columbus, a gent is discouraged from peeping into the ladies' at a fast food joint

ninjer: I think the very reason why he should NOT enter is . . . it's a girls' bathroom at Taco Bell. HAVE YOU YET KNOWN A SINGLE HUMAN TO RETURN FROM THOSE FOUL DEPTHS?!

Just last month we were forced to DEVOUR poor Lucy after that horrendous encounter with the "stall" that was, in actuality, none other than the experimental "GORDITA FABRICATUM" . . . POOR LUCY . . . POOR US!!!!!

czer323: bollocks... now you're just spreading filthy propaganda to discourage the men from uncovering the secrets of the womans bathroom at Taco Bell. I'd be willing to bet money that there's gold plated toilet seats and Mountain Dew flavored fountains. This all makes sense now. I'll have to visit the Taco bell myself now and steal the toilet seat just to prove my case.

Source
Max Headroom

_rikiki is having relationship problems with her computer....

I'm sorry about this, Rowena, really I am. But Anastasia does things for me that you never could. I don't want you to feel like I just sold you out, or that I'm just passing you on now that I'm through with you. Ana's more portable and highly functional; I'll be able to take her out on the town or just hang out wherever. She came with a lot less baggage, too, and was made by better people.

Also, she can burn DVDs. Can you do that? I know, I know, it's not your fault. And yeah, it was nice to have a CD burner, at least. But she can burn CDs, too. And she'll get along so much better with Prudence, instead of just draining her energy all the time.

You'll have fun with Aunt Pam and Grandma, y'know. They're good people, even if they don't know quite how to deal with you as well as I can. They like you, y'know. You'll really like seeing more snow from the comfort of inside. Besides, if you came back to Greenville it could be ages before you saw cable internet again. Isn't downloading things quickly just spiffy?

I'll still come back and visit, I promise.


Here's the (f-locked) post, QWP of course.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
snaky

Happy 6-6-6!

Over in howeird's journal:
Co-worker Douglas has given me what appears to be the perfect agenda for my 666 afternoon. I've already voted, so that Satanic ritual is already taken care of, but here's the plan:

1. Have a Big Mac Meal at McDonald's, and super-size it.
2. Go to Starbucks
-Order anything with coffee and chocolate
- Fire up the laptop and connect to T-Mobile wireless
- Launch Windows
- Open Internet Explorer
- Surf to www.microsoft .com

So my afternoon is planned.

For evening, I'm open to suggestions. I suppose it needs to include some BDSM porn.
Context
Boobies!

Fannish gripes.

lucidscreamer is having issues with a character who refuses to co-operate in her fanfiction.





I'm warning you now, Seto. Either stop trying to hijack my fic or I will do something horrible to you. And I don't mean just take away your dragon or make you wear pink, either. I mean something mean, something ebil and nasty and BAD, like... like... Well, I dunno what exactly, but it will be EBIL and nasty and BAD. Seriously.

You do recall that you're in a sci-fi AU, right? I mean, sure, I could always just kill you off (you are in a war, dude), but where's the fun in that? Keep it up and I will not only saddle you with the worst plot-twists in history of twisted plots, I will find a way to really make you suffer.

If all else fails, there's always MPREG...




Originally posted here.

angry devil chick, irate feminist

666...

thelandlou's day is not off to a good start:

I thought that 6/6/6 was going to be a total bust before I even left my apartment. I woke up with a migraine, stepped in cold cat puke as soon as I got out of the shower, and then knocked over my full-length mirror as I was leaving for the train. It fell face down and the entire thing shattered into a million pieces. Not that I'm all that superstitious, but nothing good can come of breaking a huge mirror on 6/6/6.

QWP, come hither, ye minions of SATAN!!!"
Self - Pinup

(no subject)

In this post, chia_rhino makes up new definitions for the internet's favourite acronyms.

BNF - Bugs Need Fun!!!
EB - Everybody, Bounce!
HBB - The sound you make when drowning.
OP - Orangutang party.
OTP - Orangetang/Turtle party.
BPAL - Blonde Person's Attempt at Lunacy
SPN - The new, abbreviated ESPN. Only shows 15 second highlight clips.
ONTD - Only Now They Die.
TWOP - What you hear when things pop into existance.
IMDB - Indiana Made Dice, Bitch!
OT3 - Ok, Times 3.
PWP - Peanut Waffle Power!
QWP - Funny statements by chronic misspellers.
ORLY - The guy that plays Legolas, to the totally mushy.