May 17th, 2006

aladdin - pretty jasmine

(no subject)

In fanficrants, mi_nion says:

I read this horrible MPREG fic over the weekend. (Thwe author decided to make it an MPREG mid-stream with no warning) The character went to the male GYN and lay down on the table on his back to be examined by the doctor, complete with anal exam & ultrasound. WTF? Now help me out here, your unborn child is up your ass & the doctor can see it by scanning your abdomen? And if said child is in your ass, why doesn't that grow bigger instead of your stomach? Is the ass-child some sort of alien or like those kangaroo babies who live in their mother's pouch for months does the ass-kid crawl from your ass to your stomach to gestate? And how is said ass-kid birthed? A good hard poop?

public post, QWP
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... but not in a sacrilegious way.

So pelomalo posts a photograph of a church sign that asks "Is Jesus America's Next Top Model?" in the topmodel community.

You can imagine what happens next:

anita_drink: His signature walk is amazing...it's on WATER.

baba_0riley: well, he's the only without a myspace
so that probably means he's the winner!

mrsshane: he'd have a way better chance if he stopped being such a martyr.
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Pomegranate

To hell with Viagra!

ginalin speculates on what would be different if men had a monthly cycle:

If men had to exsanguinate into pads, little cups or wads of cotton stuffed up an orifice every month, you bet your boots that circumventing it except in those rare instances we need to procreate would be way ahead of curing cancer and it sure as hell would have come a long time before pills that make your dick hard.

QWP, from here
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FSM O RLY
  • kalium

God and Merchandising

holyoffice on The Bible, as part of a handy Christianity Cheat Sheet:

The Bible was written by God as a merchandising tie-in to His blockbuster film "The Ten Commandments." Each book of the Bible is named after a person who features prominently in it, for example, the Book of Numbers, which is named after Herschel Numbers, who invented numerals. The Bible was so successful that God wrote a sequel, "Bible II: On to Rome," now generally called "The New Testament." Protestants believe the Bible is literal and exactly true in every detail except the description of the Eucharist, while Catholics are not allowed to read the Bible.

Read the entire original post, please. It's hilarious. Read the comments too, becuse holyoffice expands on several things in them.

Huh? Oh yeah. QWP.
lwaxana

(no subject)

Replying to a post on vapid salon denizens making comments that made them sound dumber than a marble bookend, hippierage writes:

Every stereotype I have ever had about women in a salon was just confirmed. Thanks. I think I would have had to interject and tell them "PUT DOWN YOUR COPY OF PEOPLE AND READ A FUCKING NON-FICTION BOOK STUPID WOMEN!!! AHH!" and when they got angry I would say "I'm a gay man. I'm getting a pedicure. I'm fat and translucent. I have a free pass to criticize anyone."


QWP. Context is for marble bookends.
Pirate Kitty

How much stuff can you fit in a title? A whole lot. We've got some comm stuff for you to read, okay?

Hey, recently there's been a couple queries as to Rule 9:

If the explanation is longer than the quote, don't bother.

Well, some folks have been rightly asking:
What's too long? Where's the line between setup and explanation? What if some explanation is needed? Why are you asking me to edit but not them? Who decides what's bothersome? Why does it seem arbitrary?

Well, the simple answer is that it seems arbitrary because until now, we couldn't figure out a way to make it simple and across the board. Collapse )
Pokemon

(no subject)

Hello, I've been lurking for a bit and thought I'd contribute.

My friend dont_love, who is in America on an exchange, is talking about the after prom party in this post.

"I came home and had like a family meeting where we all had to go round in a circle and swear we would not drink, bring alcohol, let anyone bring alcohol, or let anyone with alcohol into the after prom party we are having at our house. So there's going to be like, a huge tent, heaps of food and soda, and like, 14 people. I'm DESPERATELY trying to find somewhere else to go after the prom."


And then replying to a comment to that entry she says:
"All I can tell myself is that I am in America for new experiences. And this will probably be the most unnatural thing that will ever happen to me. I should grasp the oppertunity to learn from this experience. And then come back to NZ and get DRUNK. :D"

QWP

maxiboom.

On his quota of ♥.

"IMAGINE THERE'S A FREAKIN' HUGE HEART HERE. LIKE, YOU KNOW HOW BIG THE SUN IS? BIGGER! BURSTING OUT OF THE SCREEN! GROWING EVER LARGER AND BREAKING THE WALLS OF YOUR ROOM, THE HOUSE, THE NEIGHBOURHOOD, CRUSHING THE EARTH BENEATH IT'S AMAZING GRANDEUR MY GOD IT'S FULL OF STARS!

I would have actually put the image there, but I had no idea how. Either way, that's probably my quota forever."


Context is for people who WTF.
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