May 16th, 2006

katarina

(no subject)

orrinhoover in a locked post, about how some people are going crazy over the Da Vinci code movie.

I remember back in the late 80s when The Last Temptation of Christ came out that all the evangelicals and fundamentalists got their panties in a twist. They turned out en masse to protest a film they'd never seen based on a book they'd never read. But of course, since the Christian Righties have the Batphone to God, they know best.

QWP, http://orrinhoover.livejournal.com/279853.html
  • Current Music
    "Build God, Then We'll Talk" - Panic! at the Disco

musekill writes about inanimate objects entering into a very tenuous relationship...

Razor: I think you're making me dull.
Pubes [shocked and hurt]: Well you know what, you must be poisonous to me, because you make me break out! And you make me feel ugly!
[More yelling back and forth]
Razor: Alright, alright! Enough! Look, I really don't think things are working out, I'm obviously hurting you.
Pubes [already on the brink of tears, starts bawling]: But... but... you can't leave me! Who will I turn to?
Razor: Well, you're creative and...
Pubes [interrupts]: I mean, I've heard what everyones saying about Wax. Wax is slacker and makes everyone pay for him when they go out. I can't afford that.
Razor: You'll think of something. I'm sorry. Goodbye.

Pubes is a wreck for a while... until she... yep, gets creative. Pubes is now is a budding relationship with Tweezers.

http://community.livejournal.com/tmi_chix/2179882.html Go there to read the rest of the story! QWP and all that jazz.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

Love for sclerotic_rings over at customers_suck. Poor sclerotic_rings has to deal with another idjit:

Okay, Sparky, let's sum up the situation in terms that even
you can understand. Let's just say that, instead of paying bills, you're going to your favorite bar. It's a great night to go to the bar: the sawdust is fresh and someone cleaned up the spot where someone keeps pissing in the corner, the cooler is working for once, and your brother doesn't have an obvious erection every time he looks at your ass. Your father isn't standing out front, screaming "George W. Bush ate my balls!" at everyone who passes by until the police show up and beat the shit out of him. In fact, it's City Slicker Night, so everyone's brushed their teeth, and you've never seen so many tube tops and bib overalls in one place since your fourth wedding. As you make a beeline to the bar, you have hope that this moment never ends.


The whole thing is greatness. Read it. Now.
alan rickman arrrgh
  • cygnus

Kablooey!

cymballine381 on action movies:
"Why I married a man who likes it when things go kablooey is beyond me. But he (and 4 of his siblings) went to see Poseidon. It's a remake of a classic '70s disaster movie. I guess since special effects have improved over the years, it will look cool. All the dead extras will still look dead, so I have no use for the movie."
QWP, from a friends-locked post.
  • Current Mood
    hungry hungry
dolphins

The Greeks knew their porn

Two gems from this week's edition of the always quotable ljdq:

In reference to the common thread between 18th century European royals:

"They were all beheaded, which is is like a headdesk of death?" - </a></b></a>blunder_buss

chaosvizier:I believe the term you're looking for is *headbasket*.


And, in the same post, </a></b></a>slanciante suggests an alternate title for the tragedy of Oedipus:

Jocasta: the original MILF.

QWP from here
Kite-Eating Tree

Geeks do Gardening

My friend nihilistic2 reviews her morning work schedule at a Garden centre:

8:00 - Everyone arrives promptly. ...to a standard deviation of about ten minutes.
8:15- I feed the big German Shepherd, Rex. Rex loves me. I love Rex. Rex, sadly, is a guard dog and chained up all day. I am plotting his escape.
[...]
8:35- Inevitably, there is something wrong with one of the vehicles or machines and Clay creates new and interesting variations on the F-word. This period usually concludes with someone reefing on the said vehicle with a pipe and going into a long and colourful description of its origins, sexual habits, and likely futures.


QWP. Ignorance is bliss.
  • Current Music
    Josh Bates - Perfect Day