May 8th, 2006


(no subject)

couplandesque ponders the advantages of being a guinea pig:

The boys are still doing well. Paul warmed up to Kevin really quickly. Andy's discovered that he can get back into his cage if he nips at me. Not on, Andrew. Not on. Seems a bit fruitless to scold him, since he just looks at me like, "That's what you get, bitch! Now give me some carrots."

I wonder if I could apply some of these guinea pig techniques to everyday life. Like, if I didn't want to be at work anymore, I could just bite my boss. Make a racket when I was hungry. Piss on the phone because it's there and I had to take a piss anyway. Chew on the "While You Were Out" notepads. You know, that sort of thing.

  • Current Mood
    amused amused

On neighbourly love...

Local industrial-music-maestro and gothmeister skinfitz has some issues with the people next door.

Locked, but QWP.

Idiot neighbour making banging noise at 8am on a Saturday, as often happens, waking me up - check.
Neighbours on other side away, due to house renovation - check.

Idiot neighbour, I don't normally do this out of respect for other neighbours, but they are away.
Allow me to introduce you to my idea of 'banging noise'.

Never piss off a DJ.
  • Current Music
    Alice in Chains - Rooster

(no subject)

From the lovely Democratic brain of baseballchica03, talking about the latest Republican short-hair savior:

This guy cracks me up. "A small-government, reform-minded candidate who will empower the people - not the government - so the people can best achieve their God-given potential." On red cardstock. He may as well just have his name legally changed to Elephant McRepublicanpants, given that particular message. And I love how he's, "Husband, father, leader," like being a husband and father gives him the qualifications for public office.

Full article:
[F] clockwork man
  • reikah

(no subject)

Over on doctorwho, van stumbles into a nest of vipers with the question:

... is there a Doctor/Doctor slash community? Because if there isn't, there should be.

... To which arib replies:


What would the community be named? "Can't you see I'm burnin' burnin'?"

From a public post, QWP.
  • Current Music
    Vienna Teng - Eric's Song


singeaddams was not impressed with the local, modern art exhibit. (QWP)

I just got back from a modern art exhibit. Talk about reinforcing my general lack of respect for modernism, holy god, people, I could fart better masterpieces. It would be a fart, too, and not a "stylized audio/odoriferous statement that, if taken out of context, could be seen as juvenile but, when juxtaposed against society's sacrosanct delusions of what constitutes good art, can only be seen as a profound and meaningful reaction."

The gallery's selection featured such works as
Rocks Piled in a Corner, Canvases With Nothing On Them, Canvases With Unfortunate SOMETHINGS On Them, Bits of Thread I Found in a Drawer, What I Discovered While Dumpster Diving 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, etc... The Result of Me Scraping A Coat Hanger Through the Scunge Underneath My Fridge and the ever heartbreaking Watch This Video Of Me Thrusting My Butt Into A Corner of the Room.
SlpH - Ichabod unholy

“I know what I'm putting in my tw@t these days, Kimberly-Clark.”

literra_abactor has some thoughts on the new packaging of Kotex Security Tampons.
Let's start with side one. It features the aforementioned tulip (note: not a rose, because they don't want me to start thinking Kotex Security Tampons are for red hot lovin' or anything) [...]and a thumbnail of the old box.

I'm not sure what that last part is supposed to accomplish. If I didn't know the name of something I'd been inserting into my body for the last few years - um. Actually, that would be just like high school was. My point is, I've grown past that, moved on from it. I know what I'm putting in my twat these days, Kimberly-Clark. I'm damn proud of that, by god! But if I didn't? I really don't think a thumbnail would help that kind of inattention problem.

Side two offers what we might term the "ad text" - in other words, it conveys no information anyone actually needs, and it is printed in a larger font than any information someone might someday need. It begins - and I will just set this off with a carriage return for maximum appreciation:

"Run, jump, play. And don't let a period stop you."

Thank you, Kimberly-Clark. Apparently you have confused me with my dog...if you asked me to describe my average day - or, hell, my ideal day - the words "Run, jump, play" would not appear. Jesus Christ. Why not just add "chase a spit-covered ball" to the end of that?

And there’s a lot more.

Cat on Recon

Over at neurotica0's house, her cat is known for her sly recon skills. The whole post is funny, but the part that amuses me most is the part about her boyfriend. Bolding emphasis mine.

My cracker just broke and dropped into the floor. You'll never guess who's eating it.

You might be thinking it's me. You know me well if you know that I believe in the 5 second (or minute, whatever) rule. But no, I never had a chance to retrieve this cracker.
Or, you might have been thinking it was Nathan. Well, he's asleep right now. And besides, he doesn't usually wait at my feet for me to drop something crunchy.

By now, you must know the answer:
Yes, it was Mabel!

the rest of the entry, including a pic of the kitty

(no subject)

maggiebloome's new computer speakers come with an interesting set of instructions...

Apparently, I am not on any occasion to "put the product in hot, damp circumstance", possibly in order to "prevent from being soaked and walloped." I shall keep this in mind the next time I feel the urge to wallop my speakers, marinate them in vinegar or use them as a vibrator. No, the bass isn't quite THAT good.

Whole post is hilarious and here, QWP