May 3rd, 2006

wicked witch
  • jaig

(no subject)

starflowers always falls for the wrong boys

Tragic news in the form of a boy from class showing up at work yesterday only to talk to me for 20 minutes or so and he is so so socute and so so cute and was wearing the cutest hat and did I mention socute but anyway, then came the tragic moment in which we were discussing Batman Begins and he said "Oh, Cillian Murphy is so sexy". Alas. He even knew how to pronounce his name.
  • Current Mood
    pretty
me sexy curlz

suicidal windows

From naamah_darling in a post filled with ranty-ness and porn references, I laughed out loud at this bit. QWP Post found here: http://naamah-darling.livejournal.com/194158.html

In other news, we got a new window installed today (you might recall that the old one just fell out about a month back), and it's beautiful and clean and shiny, and it cuts way down on noise, and it even does other window-type stuff like open and be transparent, which the other windows could not apparently manage to do without flinging themselves to the concrete in fits of suicidal depression.

The rest of the post bears more of Naamah's trademark wit. Go read it now! :)
  • Current Location
    nyc
laugh

weaponized fairy dust

ginmar is suffering from an overload of twee:
"Moving on, what's with the twee epidemic? Is Thomas Kinkaid putting weaponized fairy dust in his paintings? Has Tinkerbelle gone wrong? Is Hallmark marketing mother's day cards with a jolt of saccharine in them? Has some Twee Overlord been resurrected from his grave in SparklePony Cemetary, where he lies in state in a pink mausoleum made out of pink care bears, Barney videos, and those annoying Princess tees? Are there mauve missiles, packed with powdered sugar and sparklies even now aimed at New York and LA? Will the pink hordes soon be rising from their bon bon boxes to march on Washington, demanding that everybody better smile?"
o mighty bean

(no subject)

polar_bear_sama overhears a new student tour group in the library:

The tour guide is giving an overview of how books are sorted, and man, I just want to walk over and offer to help out:

"Hi! Welcome to Hale. This is a library. We keep things called 'books' here. How many of you have heard of a book? *waits for people to raise their hands* And how many have actually seen a book? *waits for people to raise their hand* Ah very good. So the two of you will be way ahead of the rest here. Books are these things that have pages and words in them. I know that sounds odd, but just trust me on it. The words in the books tell you things. Hopefully, some of you might even know how to read already. If not, it's alright. By the time you're done with college, you'll probably get the hang of it. But yeah, books are filled with paper and are a great way to learn. *waits for a person to ask a question* Sort of, but this paper you don't use to wipe your butt with. That would get you fined and nobody likes that."


Locked post, but qwp. :3
magic wand

(no subject)

fantasyecho makes a point about women and gay men in this post about bisexuality.

When women watch two gay men together, they're not going to assume the gay men are going to invite them into the action. Usually it's "Oh, I wish I had a boyfriend as good looking as that," or, "I wish I had a relationship as happy as that." Not "Oh man, I'm gonna get me some double penis tonight!"
  • Current Music
    Black Horse and The Cherry Tree
Gundam X - GX-9900

Who wouldn't want a job like that?

My wonderful-but-needs-to-write-in-LJ-more-often significant other knightofravens complains about his current temp job and wouldn't mind a contract for something a little more...therapeutic:

That said, the fish-throwing looked like a great deal of fun. Mayhap I should let my agent know about it when she's hunting for possible new contracts for me? "Desirable qualities: central location, £6.00 an hour or more, opportunities to throw fish at customers or co-workers." Hey, this is Edinburgh; it's not completely inconceivable that such a job exists.


Quoted with permission, of course, but through AIM because it's easier.
  • Current Music
    Qntal - Remember Me
Maji - Joy

(no subject)

Long time lurker, first time poster... and I was brought into the light with this gem from dorothywwom, right here (qwp).

Context? It is the great war, the endless debate, the merciless battle that pits two related families against one another on the same glamourous, eye-candy-ridden, and yet somehow vaguely educational battlefield... CSI versus CSI: MIAMI! I think it's pretty obvious where she plants her flag, speaking with a friend.

Me: But G's team is all "Yeah we put together the entire crime scenario with two threads, one drop of blood and a splinter, we rock, who's buying breakfast"
D: *dead now*
Me: H's team: "We fought sharks, sixteen ninjas, recovered some blood, bluffed our way to the answer and now we're being persecuted"
D: *dies*
Panda Fall

Blind Fiery Ninjas Riding Flying Thunder Sharks.

Over in bad_rpers_suck, blizzy_blaze was mourning the apathy of her fellow role-players. shizukutonderui had an idea to add some spice to her game:

Oh. I got it. Leviathan attack.

All of a sudden a great monstorous creature rises from the deeps of the water, rising from the glooming depths. The creature's many tentacles flail about as it release a beastial nose that freezes the very hearts of those who hear it. Hundred of eyes look in all direction for the pitiful souls who are disturbing it's usually peaceful slumber. All eyes lock onto the offending constructs that seem to be floating on its terroritory. With its large foaming mouth gnashing and biting the air around it, the leviathan propells itself forward, the intent to wrap its large sinewy arms about the vessels and crush them. Hundred of razor sharp teeth began to sink itself into the decks of the ship whilst the tentacles crash about. Then the whole thing gets set on fire from some unknown source and now flying sharks with magical thunder breath are attacking everything they can in a desperate attempt to steal the Leviathan's meal.

Something like that. Oh and the sharks are ridden by ninjas who are on fire, and are blind. Blind fiery ninjas riding flying thunder sharks.
(emphasis added)

Context.

AP exams are evil...

ssilverb tells of dealing with the AP exams.

...So I just got home, and was about to study for that AP exam. But when I set the book down and lifted the cover, the sound of a thousand voices assaulted my ears. First, a few were from the old growth forests that died in making the unnaturally huge book. Some were from the victims of AP overdosage, passing out and impaling themselves in mental exhaustion on their own pencils as they leave the test center. The last was my own voice, asking myself why I am even opening this book in the first place.

So I closed the demon book and shoved in back into my backpack.


*shudders at thought of own AP exam* QWP.
  • Current Music
    Wolfmother-"Woman"