Metaquotes

terrybukowski discovers Dingus Day:

Went to Buffalo today. My first stop was Buffalo Associates/Pro Source of Buffalo, they are actually in Cheektowaga. The old man who works in the warehouse said to me "Happy Dyngus Day and Beware the pussy willows" I looked at him like he was stoned and he just smiled. (freak)

Then all morning the local DJ's were talking about Dyngus day and wet t-shirt contests. So I just had to Google it to find out what the hell it was.

Being Polish I feel as If I have been missing out on an important part of my ethnic heritage. Leave it to the Polish to come up with a RELIGIOUS excuse to have a wet t-shirt contest.

Seen here.

deathbyshinies:I hope that there is a western grocery in hong kong or someplace like that and people can go hooning down there to buy western foods.

thekit:Well in singapore there's a place called Cold Storage and they sell french bread, turkey, nutella...

deathbyshinies:Hey, do you know what would happen if you went and bought french bread AND nutella?

thekit:What?

deathbyshinies:GIANT POCKY!


QWP, from here.

annilia visits three of Kentucky's worst strip clubs and lives to laugh about it later in this unlocked post.

My favorite sideshow freak: "The scary stripper with the "venetian blind tits" (she had to roll them up to get them back in her bra..)"

(QWP, natch.)

"Now, you can't just squish an adult huntsman; it would be like crushing a poodle. And without the satisfaction value of hearing a little runt yap its last."
-Jon Blum on removing Australian Huntsman spiders from your house

Context: http://jblum.livejournal.com/65164.html#cutid1

Oh, and whee! First post.

crevette continues her ongoing war with her reproductive organs:

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Sorry for the length, but the entire post truly was meta worthy. QWP, and context here

mizbitch2you (12:38pm) hi ho.

mizbitch2you (12:39pm) Er, reading that over, I'd better clarify that I mean "hi ho" in the sense of "hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go," rather than "hi ho" in the sense of "hello, you're a slut."

_Context

child_of_god_16 wanted to let us all know the white owl has been named Soze.

*Takes off hat for ORLY the Corporate Mascot*

*Goes about day a little sadder*

(Thanks for the heads-up, Tay, sorry the post was deleted, jaie and I had a miscommunication.)

sirleebutler is feeling some mid-semester blues lately, and transcribes here a dialogue with the relevant part of his psyche, in which he is reminded of what he can expect in the next few weeks. QWP.

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foulmouthedb on finding a website dedicated to "Native American Exotics" and BDSM gear:



I'm so glad that the BDSM community is recognizing the sacred need for Native peoples to wear nipple clamps.

Posted in nativeamerican

aoi_tsuki1 had a few things to say to her customers over in customers_suck.

1. I only need one asshole in my pants at a time, kthxdie, gentlemen. Don't make me bring my katana to work and stab the potato of stupid evil in its rheumy eye (my managers might just let me get away with it at this point, i.e. my notice turned in a week ago).

2. The next person who immediately unbundles the silverware we spend hours preparing every night, uses the napkin to wipe three or four drops of OMG ICKY MOISTURE off their tray, tosses the now-useless wad of paper and utensils aside, and grabs another bundle right in front of me will probably not spontaneously combust as soon as they step outside the restaurant, but they should.

3. More of you should have cute, gap-toothed, stuffed-animal-toting little girls who ask me hilarious, Family Circus-esque questions like, "Are you a kid? ...Oh, you're a big kid." :D Conversely, whoever invented 320-decibel plastic whistle-shrieking bendy straws and decided it would be a good idea to give them to small children? You'd need a battery-acid enema to approximate the headache pain you've caused hapless non-parental bystanders over the years, not to mention all the ammo provided to the "CROTCH-DROPPINGS AND MOOS ARE EVIL" crowd.

That's all of it, but here's the link. QWP, of course.

(First post - hope I didn't screw up.)

szandara contemplates the vagaries of being bilingual.

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QWP, context here.

Over in childfree, toxic_iguana adds yet another reason for her childfree status:

So, one more reason I should not have children: I'd never know if it was retarded or not!

Context? I got your context right here!

QWP.

enchanteresse and her subconsciousness had a little conversation, and she won:

My subconscious is now sulking because I just didn't have the decency of believing in my dream.

The entire entry is hilarious, really. Ah, subconsciousness. If only it didn't throw logic out the window in arguments.

re_white talks about her grandmother's husband, Mike the Perv:

This is a man who claims to have read a play called 44 Deaths in Texas, a love, horror, Sci-Fi, observational satire, coming of age epic concerning a young transvestite in Huston, and *enjoyed it*, despite the fact that it doesn't fucking exist because I MADE IT UP.

...digest that.

So. I found a new use for my kitten!

I needed something out of the freezer in the furnace room. But, shock and horror, some bastard spider had spun a web from the ceiling to the floor in front of the freezer. And on top of that, was currently walking along the web around eye height with me.

Now, I'm a total wuss when it comes to spiders. Major wuss. As I write this, I'm having the skin-crawlies from just seeing the damn thing.

So I did the logical thing.

I grabbed my kitten and swiped her through the web until enough of it was gone that I could walk through without touching it. As I left with my stuff, she was on the floor happily purring and eating the spider.

So. In conclusion...

Kittens: Many Uses.

- crantz (QWP and all that)

from bad_sex, evilgetyours speaks only in clothed tongues:

Girl at door: "Manda?"

Bed: *silence*

Boy: *silence*

Me: (trying not to sound naked) "Yes?"

Girl at door: "Um, are you busy?"

Me (totally sounding naked) "Yes."

Girl at door: "Okay then. Have..er..bye!"

Boy: "Bye!"

(ten seconds later)

Bed: *squeak squeak squeak*

Us: "Hooray!"

The entire entry is really quite hilarious, QWP.

dream_bringer talks politics here.

"US nuclear talks with Iran urged"
this is how they will go.
iran: we have da bomb.
us: we know.
iran: watcha gonna do about it?
us: send the bad boys after you.
iran: watcha gonna 'bout all that junk, all that junk up in your trunk?
us: blow you up.
iran: WE HAVE DA BOMB.
us: we know.
iran: WE WANT MILITARY AID LIKE YOU GAVE ISRAEL.
us: ah, shit. knew that was gonna come back to bite us in the ample ass.