April 6th, 2006

[Contemplation] Deep silent complete

(no subject)

twirlynoodle, artist extraordinnaire and lover of animation, comments on recent events:

"I THINK:
Should Saddam Hussein be found guilty of any or all of his offences, I say forget capital punishment or imprisonment at some UN institution or using him for medical research or whatever the authorities may come up with. He should be imprisoned in a plexiglass box in Burbank where animators and cartoonists can go draw him 24 hours a day. That man has the most animated expressions I have ever seen. Why waste such a wonderful resource? Surely this is no less a punishment than a quick and painless death or mouldering in a dungeon, and all those vengeful eye-for-an-eye people can find satisfaction in the abuse of his human rights. Everybody wins!"


Th-th-that's all, folks.
Eternity lies ahead
  • memnus

(no subject)

sithjawa needs some sleep, and declares Tom Bombadil to be a zombie. The true hilarity breaks out in the comments:

Old Tom Bombadil, he be mighty starving!
Brains will be his breakfast now, from your skull he's carving
Tasty little brainy bits, sweet and soft and squishy!
Grey as a featherdown, shiny as a fishy!
Silly little hobbit-folk, why be you a-sleeping?
Tom's been wide awake since dawn! Brains won't be a-keeping
Lying all about the floor! Time the dead were rising!
Sun like a golden fruit hangs on the horizon!
Tom's door is open wide! Wake, you silly zombies!
Go find a brain to eat! Fa la Abercrombie!
livejournal pwnage, rhymes

bad service

stagger_lee77 is irate with the local Wendy's:

they don't have the god-given sense to pour piss off a flip flop if the directions were on the bottom. in other words, they're more fucked up than a football bat. more fucked up than a soup sandwich. more fucked up than a screen door on a submarine.

and

i will admit, after going to combat, i will eat some things in resturants that normal people wouldn't stand for. hair in my food: is it a pube? no? then i'm eating it. fly in my soup: does it sting? no? then i'm eating it. grit in my salad: does it look like someone dropped the spinach on the floor? no? then i'm eating it. but stuff like roaches in my cheese manicotti (this happened in korea) or shrapnel in my french fries? you best stomp your feet and clap your hands and trust and BELIEVE i'm gonna report that shit.

QWP, from the comments on this post
  • Current Mood
    curious curious

The black female wins 'what' again?

"I'm guessing that winning = people listening to what you have to say and taking action because of it. I don't know why he's so hopping mad about people actually doing their damn jobs. The police should investigate. The college administration should suspend the students (for serving alcohol to minors). What the hell is his problem? God forbid black women with crappy jobs start getting the same basic treatment as everyone else!"

digital_femme on Dr David Yeagley's claim that official community response to the rape charges leveled at white members of the Duke Lacrosse team was racist and that 'the black female wins again' at blackfolk.

Things I wish I'd said...

From customers_suck I bring you: bassist_159, working in a comic book store. Creepy old men, leave the gamer chicks alone!!!

Do not flirt with L. Yes, I know she's new and cute and naive and those jeans would make a priest have second thoughts, but she is like the English crown jewels: keep moving, and if you touch it guys who don't smile will beat the ever-living shit of you.

Full post here!
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(no subject)

In customers_suck, thinkaboutme83 delights with a tale of sugary marshmallow goodness:

Me: *staring vacantly into space*
Old Guy: *out of nowhere* Peepees!
Me: Um?
Old Guy: PEEPEES!
Me: I'm sorry?
Old Guy: Yellow Peepees?
Me: *is reaching for phone to call my manager, and then I realize what's going on* You mean PEEPS? Marshmallow Peeps?
Old Guy: Yes! Yellow Peepees! I only see pink peepees.
Me: *points to what is left of easter candy* That's all we have left, sir.
Old Guy: Oh well. I don't eat 'em fresh anyway. I let them sit out a while until they get hard.
Me: *don't say "hard peepees," omg don't say it* I hear that a lot of people do that, sir.
Old Guy: *pays and leaves*


That's the whole post, QWP.
fishy fishy fishy
  • crantz

(no subject)

lemaineac describes her first day of new classes, which features this interesting moment:


Dude, the teacher started out the class like this:

Teacher: There's an 8-page paper due later on in the term. Does anyone want to drop out of the class now?
Class: .......
Teacher: Damn. Okay, moving on.
boxbot

I'm a Reformed Orthodox Keysist, myself.

A good friend of mine recently posted a conversation she had with a friend of hers. It was too good to just let it stand.

Dark Puck: I did lock the car after tossing his keys in the trunk. Then I realised that the evolved life in there might eat them, so I risked my hand and fished them out again.
Stalker: You ought to have an exterminator look in there.
Dark Puck: What? And ruin the civilisation they're starting to form?
Dark Puck: I want to see if they wind up like the weird gremlin-things in my closet.
Stalker: Oh. They've advanced to tool-use already?
Dark Puck: Well, the closet-gremlins have. The trunk-gremlins appeared to have been worshipping the keys when I fished them out.
Stalker: Now they'll worship your hand.
Stalker: Or idealistic representations thereof.
Dark Puck: Hmmm... there just might be a religious war in the trunk of my car. I know there's a small sect that worships the ever-vanishing soda cases I toss in there.
Stalker: You must have started something. Quick! Stop it before they wipe themselves out!
Dark Puck: *considers it* Nah, can't be buggered to.
Stalker: You are a heartless and uncaring goddess.
Dark Puck: Or I'm just lazy.


Original post.
years go by

(no subject)

herooftenfailed mocks bad parents with an entitlement complex here:

"OMG. You did NOT just go there.

My child is a unique and beautiful snowflake, and I refuse to supervise him BECAUSE I love him. Supervising one's children isn't about caring, or parental responsibility. It's about brainwashing, and selling your child out to The Establishment, which is headed by The Man, and stomping on the free flowing petals of a wee, precious mind. Parenting is a totalitarian fascist dictatorship and I refuse to participate. Leaving my child unsupervised at the bank? An act of kindness. You have to cut the apron strings some time, and the last poster? Fucking slacker, 3's way too late to start. My son was walking home from the liquor store (12 miles, uphill both ways, and you betchur ass it was barefoot in the snow!) by his lonesome when he was ten months old, carrying bottle upon bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 on his back. AND HE'S BETTER FOR HAVING DONE IT.

Also. It's enslavement, and brutalizes women. Having to watch my child makes me feel... less than. It cuts into my soap operas. It means I have to share my bon-bons. It means I can't fuck the mail man. IT MEANS I HAVE TO BAKE COOKIES AND MAKE DINNER AND SING STUPID SONGS. And I was in LABOR for 48 hrs ... 3wks ... 3 years, 4 months, and 5 days! They don't call it labor for nothin! It was hard work! I deserve a break! SO DUN JUDGE ME, YOU DUN KNOW ME!"
red robe

phone consultations?

wookiewife has to go to the doctor, and isn't told until she gets to the office that it's a phone consultation. afterward, she wonders how, exactly, that might work.

But what the hell kind of appointment is this over the phone?

"Hi, this is Dr O. How are you?"
"Hi, Dr O. Stessed to the max. You?"
"Got a kid run over by a train in the ER today, wasn't that fun. How the heartburn?"
"Ouch, that must have hurt. Eh, it's still there."
"Taking your pills?"
"Yup."
"Avoiding those foods on the no-no list?"
"...Yes."
"Liar."
"Yeah, I know."
"Try to work on that. I know it's hard, I'm in your boat there, too."
"Yeah, you are kind of a fatass, aren't ya Doc?"
"Bite me."
"Fuck off."
"Great, so I'll see you in 3 months?"
"Yeah. Bye."
"Later."

it's a locked entry, but QWP, from here. :)
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