Metaquotes

poteidia rants about the disturbing side of fandom:

Reality check in aisle one!

physidork gives us a bit of background about her job.

For reference, I work in a large chain whose trademarked symbol you wouldn't want to wear around Dick Cheney.

QWP, etc.

elusis talking about some of her more difficult clients (original post here):

"Note to self: "The Miracle Worker" was about someone else, not you. Do not install water pump in your office."

in A customer's suck entry by Millym it turns out that libraries are mathmatically prone to fights. this actually came from the comments, but it still wins.



SMACKDOWN RAW!

TODAY, THE UNDERTAKER TAKES ON ONE OF THOSE JAPANESE WRESTLERS WE THREW TOGETHER IN A FIT OF METH AND DESPERATION, COUPLED WITH STEREOTYPES WE VAGUELY REMEMBERED IN A DRUG INDUCED HAZE

THEY'LL BE BATTLING FOR A WHOLE FIVE PLATES OF CUPCAKES AND

OH

OH MY GOD

UNDERTAKER IS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THEM WITH A COPY OF OLIVER TWIST

OH THE HUMANITY

QWP.

This bug report might tip you off.

Subject: Eaten by CHUDS
Priority: 1
Severity: 0
Description: Help, I'M BEING EATEN BY CHUDS!
Steps to repro:
1) Look in my cube
2) Note presence of CHUDS
The bug:
They're $%*()!*()'ing EATING ME, WHAT'S KEEPING YOU PEOPLE?!
Expected behavior:
NO CHUDS!

gleef commenting on proselytizing Christians in convert_me:

Bible thumpers are the religious equivalent of spam.

agilebrit: the gift that keeps on giving.

So...
What was the first thing I had to do this morning?

I know you're dying to find out.

I had to give mouth-to-mouth recusitation to a plush tiger. Da Boy made a lip at me this morning and informed me that it was "dead." I believe the gist of it was that his other stuffed animals (specifically, his badger) had jumped on it or something. I was the one that suggested the mouth-to-mouth, because, hey. Big lip, you know?

And now we're going to put the badger in "jail." Which would be the dog's crate.

This context is dead from cute. QWP.

Of course, my brain intervenes: "Body, what are you on? Stomach is bitching about being hungry, she might start eating herself."

"So nervous."

"....About?"

"We're going to travel! It's absolutely awful."

"Uh, Body, buddy of mine, we enjoy traveling. It's fun."

"You mean we don't have anxiety about traveling?"

"No, Body, we don't."

"Well I think we should, you jerk, you never let me have any fun! *proceeds to whine and spaz*"

My first metaquote, QWP and all that jazz.

from http://community.livejournal.com/tmi_chix/2042441.html

maradydd was a little um, zoned in one evening at a shopping mall...

maradydd: ok, the apple store is closing
maradydd: back on from home
pjammer: Which apple store are you in?

At which point we both looked up.

And realised we were sitting next to each other.

Full post here, QWP, public post.

From nightshaderose:

oh, and in other news: gods bless the American civil justice system. The courts may move like cold molasses, but the lawyers move like cheetahs.

(entry link)

In the comm,hpguys_daily,where we drool over the male stars of the HP movie franchise,onezeronothing is possessed of a movie idea involving Dan Radcliffe(as shown in the post) and his apparent twin,Elijah Wood:


( Collapse )


QWP and a link to the original post,for those who only want to see Dan. ;)

From the lovely mind of briel_morrigan:

I'm wearing someone else's underwear. And while it's just socks, I like it too.

Context is for the weak, and this is the entire post, but it can be found at http://briel-morrigan.livejournal.com/93462.html?view=177430#t177430

watersmachine writes in bad_sex about an experience with a bookworm:

In other words Her Iliad started an Inferno in my pants and it took The Republic to put it out.

http://community.livejournal.com/bad_sex/2659132.html The whole post is really worth reading, and of course, QWP.

nameroc's computer is giving him a hard time:


nameroc: Nope, I was quite distracted by my comp... I think I blew it up tho. :(
clairdelune371: It's alive now, though. *bounces*
nameroc: It better stay alive if it wants to be alive!

Unlocked post, QWP.

Please excuse the horrible attempt at an Überwaldean accent in the subject. *performs seppuku*

In a fanficrants post about a girl who changed "parseltongue" to "snaken" in her 'fic because she couldn't spell it, eleventhguard had this to say in the comments:

The really stupid part is that I just ran a Google search for "parsletounge" and the first line was:

Did you mean parseltongue?

How do people reach their teen years being this lazy and stupid? I'd think they'd die of dehydration because they don't want to bother to lift the glass to their mouths or something.

The comment itself. There are also a number of other amusing comments, mostly involving 'snakes on a plane' jokes. x)

slightly_frayed faces down the weather:

It's storming outside. There's thunder and lightning, but no rain. I quite like it, except I might end up having to get offline. And that would be scary, I think. Being offline on a Friday night like 'normal' people with lives. Huh.