March 22nd, 2006

springtime the pony

(no subject)

followingmyfish has some stuff to say to the people behind Protect Marriage Illinois. After reaming them out, she closes as follows:

PS. With regards to your logo: is your organization staffed entirely by people who never took an art class, or what? A blue man and a red woman would produce a purple child, duh! The orange kid you've got there is clearly either a) adopted or b) the mailman's. Either way, I strongly feel that some sort of context is needed.
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    amused amused
yrp

Cheney, the Puppet Master

nocomprimises describes Bush's pop-o-matic head as seen at a press conference.

"You ever hear of the word 'bajillion', as in, a bajillion years? Because that's how long we're going to be stuck in this mess," Bush was saying, right before Cheney frantically hit the pop-o-matic button on his remote control device.

The above picture caught the president's head, mid wobble, before it clattered to the ground and rolled across the floor, landing at the feet of a reporter from the Associated Press. A spirited game of hot potato ensued among the press corps.


The whole thing is funny. You should read it all. Pictures and context are here.
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    amused amused
Leaving Early To Avoid The Rush

Your daily dose of WTF?

foxesdaughter had her moment yesterday from her friends list:

On April 29, 2006, I'll be participating in the nation's boldest,highest-altitude, and most daring effort to put an end to sexualassault. It's called Operation Freefall: The Two-Mile High StandAgainst Sexual Assault. I WILL BE JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE FROM AT LEAST10,500 FEET.

WTFOMGBBQ???

Maybe it's me, but I'm not seeing a correlation here. Do they intend to also drop convicted rapists out of the plane, sans parachutes? 'Cause *that* might have an effect.


From a locked post, QWP, here.
snark, facepalm

(no subject)

impertinence is pretty much over her cold.

It's a relief, given that I was starting to feel semi-suicideal--"semi" only because even dead and miserable as I was, I wasn't quite willing to risk going to hell just yet. (I mean, I'm going to hell anyway, but the hell for slashers has got to be more fun than the hell for suicidal types. I DO NOT want to spend eternity with a bunch of whiny little emo kindergoths who finally have validation for their suspicion that they're SO PERSECUTED OMG!!!eleventy-five!1!!!)


QWP & stuff.
sigh, facepalm
  • mhari

Since you ask...

Them: What's wrong with your eyes?
Me: ...Conjunctivitis.
Them: ... *sits on the other side of the room*
Me: ;_________;

Them: What's wrong with your eyes?
Me: I'm possessed by LUCIFER, THE LORD OF ALL HELL.
Them: ...
Me: ...
Them: ...
Me: ...Conjunctivitis.

--silverdragon262 can't win. FLQWP.
Feeling evil

(no subject)

grey_wolf4 has an ant problem, and after finding that the traps left the creatures alive, and merely reeking of ant poison, she tried a more direct route.

So I bought liquid ant poison. Travelled around the house, bottle in hand, liberally applying a drop here, a drop there... and behold, the drops were surrounded by ravenous ants like antelopes at a watering hole. Containing a crocodile. The drops disappeared, and so did my previously burgeoning crop of ants. I thought I'd found freedom at last!

Until I went to the bathroom... and a couple of ants were scurrying across the countertop. Well, this won't do! I went and got my ant poison, and put a couple drops in out-of-the-way places on the counter.

Suddenly, my bathroom was SWARMING in ants! A cavalcade of vast, unending ant armies! Some of them went for the pools of poison, but others just walked past them! "No thanks," they were saying, "I'm full!".

Now my ants are purple. And they leave a RANK sweet smell on my fingers when I crush them that I have to wash off with soap.

What... the... FUCK?!?!

I can only conclude that I have created a mutant ant that is mostly poison. I did the ant equivalent of spilling a load of radioactive material into their little ant world, and now they've turned into super ants. Or maybe evil ant villains.
pirate flag

From the endless joy that is tmi_chix:

necroangel666 says, "I just realized that the box of tampons I bought are scented. WHY do they even make scented tampons? MY VAGINA IS NOT SUPPOSED TO SMELL LIKE POTPOURRI OR NEW CAR."

And a few jewels from the comments:

twirlandswirl-- "*sniff* Excuse me, miss, but, *sniff sniff*, do I smell *sniff* leather interior emanating from your lady bits? *sniff cough*"

and

imnotsatan-- "I'd rather smell like canned tuna than scented tampons."

Original post, QWP, here.
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    The Beatles - Rocky Raccoon
Snakes!

But tell us how you REALLY feel...

As seen in the comments thread on filkertom's journal here, when asked why he can't fly and avoid dangerous driving conditions to get to conventions:

"Oh, it's more expensive to drive, if it's anything over a day's travel. But, in a plane, you're hurtling along at 500+ mph several miles above the ground with absolutely no control at all, and the seats are designed for people half my weight, and the motherfucker behind you always complains when you lean back but the guy in front of you jams his seat into your collarbone and then starts coughing straight up so it lands in your cheap-ass unstable plastic cup of Coke-flavored ice, and the bathrooms are apparently designed for Roswell aliens and/or the most anorexic of supermodels, and the lines at the airport -- all of them, check-in, security, food service, boarding, you name it -- are stupidly long and managed badly, and they're so freakin' spread out that most major airlines have shuttles to other parts of the same building, and I don't like having to take off my freaking shoes because some asshat thought he was a Bond villain, and I don't like being cooped up for multiple hours with screaming children, and if there's a problem they will make you sit on the fucking runway a hundred yards from every service you could need or want on the off-off-off-chance that they'll get going again now now now move it move it move it, and if you need a connecting flight you've got about a one-third chance under any circumstance of saying Well fuck that, and they charge stupid amounts for emergency tickets, and they don't seem to give bereavement fares any more, and why the fuck should I patronize an industry that overcharges hideously and seemingly capriciously, can't maintain fiscal solubility anyway, makes your use of their service as difficult and uncomfortable as possible, treats its customers and employees like shit, and tells you that if the fucking plane crashes at several hundred miles an hour, you can pry the seat cushion out from under your bleeding zombie corpse and it'll float?

Apart from that, I find airline food a bit lacking."
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    impressed impressed
cap'n gun

(no subject)

eamontoplease in customers_suck:

Memo to the foreign gentleman to whom I sold a stack of adult DVDs last week:

Don't jerk me around. If you know enough English to select a film entitled Teenage Jizz Junkies, then you know enough English to understand the question "Could I see a photo ID?"
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    Going Down by The Germs
Boobies!

Suggestion Box.

amicitia6 has recently been to Australia, and learned a few things while over there.

As a woman, I feel I have the right to make the following recommendations to the US and Australia.

Item the First. As far as I can tell, every female toilet (ladies' room) in Australia is equipped with one or more sanitizing bins for the disposal of feminine hygiene products. These bins are clearly far superior to small trash cans with foot pedals, and should be immediately exported to the US and installed in restrooms across the country.

Item the Second. In return, Kotex and Always should instruct their Australian counterparts in the fine art of how to package feminine hygiene products in such a way that it is possible for said products to be unwrapped in under fifteen minutes and without an instruction manual.

I feel that both countries would benefit immensely from this exchange. If you agree, write to your Congressperson. I would do it myself, but air-mail is slow and expensive.

Beware: Flocked post.
Ariel sunglare

Oh, reality TV...

michellek takes on tonight's American Idol here...

Oh, and wtf was Kevin talking about with his, "do the right thing America, pick one of these amazing people!" We have to pick one of them. We can't text in, like, our own names our something.

QWP from a locked post.
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    The Daily Show Theme