Metaquotes

My computer just spent the entire afternoon moving roughly at the speed of oatmeal. Now I know why oatmeal's never beaten any landspeed records.

--apocalypsos is having computer issues.

From albatrossity:
"When Bjork gets bored does she get bjored?"

And from her comments:
"Dunno, though I heard Bjork has happy bjirthdays."

That's the whole thing, but here's the link if ya want it.

In an entry at customers_suck, the following exchange took place.


dv8nation says:
I've got an answer ready for the next guy who asks me if I've accepted Jesus as my personal savior.

"Actually I accepted Superman as my personal savior a few years ago. Because when I need saving I want someone who's bulletproof and super strong to do it."


catmcroy replies:
*adds that to arsenal of snarky comebacks*

The one I use a lot is, "Have you found Jesus?"
"You mean he's still lost?/Yeah, he's in my fridge/I dunno - he's not my god and I can't understand why you guys keep losing him."

I thought casting Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut in X3 sounded like a brilliant idea...until I saw what they did for his costume. He doesn't look like Juggernaut, he looks like a fuckin' soccer hooligan in bondage gear with fake novelty abs, if you look really close I think the "helmet" says Corningware.
--fmh, QWP from a flocked entry.

This drink gives me great energy. How else could I...with joints black with bruises...run so fast to the bathroom to spit out a mouth full of liquid fruit flavor fun?

--broken_klaive tried out a new energy drink.

(QWP.) In fanficrants, magic in Harry Potter's world is compared to science in the real world, and its limitations are discussed. chibikaijuu makes this astute observation:

But so far as we know, the only things magic can't do are bring back the dead, fix a damaged mind, or, apparently, create a decent long-distance communication method.

estella30 needs new jeans:

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"I post this and check my email and there's a message with th subject 'Don't be inadequate anymore!' and I'm like 'Somebody wants to help!' but no, they just want to make my penis bigger." -- merrickm here

"despite the reality TV crackdown promised by BBC executive Mark Thomson, the weeknight listings are invariably clogged with wall-to-wall Divorce My Badly-Behaved Pet's Garden Decking Weight Loss Challenge" - joysilence here, on the perils of British television at the moment.

andeewah is not particularly fond of her upstairs neighbor:

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QWP. Context is for the weak.

blueduck37, posting in ljdemocrats, has this to say (and much more) about the Senate Intelligence Committee's vote NOT to investigate the President's warrantless wiretapping program:

. . . Somewhere, Thomas Jefferson is rolling over in his slave. . . .

adellyna has her priorities straight.

"I just found The Sims 2 and I'm about to install it on crackerbob's laptop so that I can play it and not throw up. I don't care how much space it takes up because HE installed his SPERM into my UTERUS and that's taking up more room than I would prefer.

JUSTIFIED."

QWP, though the post is locked.

This made my day!!

From a discussion on prochoice about annoying pro life bumperstickers... idyllic makes an important observation, which cenye then turnes into a great slogan.

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"DJing isn't rocket science...

Of course it isn't. Most rocket scientists I've met don't have anywhere near the depth of musical knowledge, the sense of rhythm, and the subtle social instincts to make a decent DJ. DJing, of course, also involves much less use of differential equations." -- gleef here

Note: The person quoted hopes that not too many rocket scientists are upset by this.

Taken from this post on fanficrants by pyrasaur, who says that initial credit for it goes to delcat

Wrighten? Man, just when I thought fanbrats couldn't do anything worse to the language.

(Although I've been informed that English secretly likes it because it's a filthy slut. "Ooooh, yes, improperly conjugate me harder!")

xterminal had this take on the wit and wisdom of one South Dakota state senator's take on the controverisial abortion ban:

Direct quote here.  Context for the weak here.

ellen_fremedon on listening to your body:

This whole listening to one's body business is so much easier some weeks of the month.

Tonight, for instance, I said to myself, "Self, why don't we go home and make another round of that nice lentil curry." And a little voice from somewhere proximal to my right ovary piped up loud and clear and said "BITCH, YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE ME HOME RIGHT NOW AND FEED ME RARE STEAK, VANILLA PUDDING, AND 400 MG OF A FINE VINTAGE IBUPROFEN OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE YOU PAY."