February 21st, 2006

murphy

Because the Internet is full of sadness today, I bring a ray of funney....

sparkindarkness is having some trouble with clients on customers_suck:

And you! Yes, you, plague bearer! Get my email address out of that damn computer! In fact, throw that computer away and get a new one. Then - and this is important – when you connect the new one up to your ultra-ultra-fast expensive broadband connection INVEST IN A FIREWALL AND VIRUS CHECKER! Your computer is laying siege to mine with a constant barrage of worms, Trojans, viruses and battle axe wielding Oompaloompas. Stop it! You are the hub of all that is bad on the internet. You are the source of spam, you are the Typhoid Mary of viruses, you are the Greeks bearing gifts. Get it virus checked and exorcised – the entire internet will thank you for it. I’d send the Hounds after you but I fear they may catch something.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Toast + Butter= OTP!

(no subject)

Well, shit.

People are still reading this journal. I'm surprised.

I'm also a seething ball of twitch right now. Any of you who've read Monstrous Regiment will recognize the symptoms: although I do have coffee and am not side-scan hallucinating Da Nang, it's fairly familiar.

I'm gonna have to knuckle under and just fucking write a VSV of Varney. I have no choice. It's beyond my control.

*twitch*

...anyone who pisses me off today is going to be looking not only for their teeth but quite possibly their inferior nasal spines, zygomatic arches, and organs of generation. (Damn, where did those organs of generation go? I coulda sworn they were RIGHT HERE...)

vivian_shaw, here.
Shock
  • libram

A Finance Lesson, by theanimefanboy:

Here.

A pristine paycheck is escorted into a crowded jail cell.

Federal: Hey cutie. What's a shiny high number like you doing in the tax block?
Paycheck: Umm...I don't really want to talk about it.
State: He's got a pretty mouth.
Paycheck: Umm...thanks.
State: I think its time we 'initiated' our new friend here to the tax block.
Federal: Yeah let's hurry this up. I got a war to support.
Paycheck: Umm...wait...can't we talk about this...AAAAAHH!
Federal: (Mounting Paycheck from behind) Yeah. Federal. You love your Uncle Sam, doncha honey?
Paycheck: No! Please stop! I have to buy food and--mmmmph?
State: (Mounting Paycheck from the front) Stop whinin' and love your country, boy!
Social Security: Hurry up Federal, I can't withold much longer.
Federal: Oh yeah. You're going to love Social over there.
Social Security: You're going to get hit by me, and then your employer has to match everything I do to you!
Federal: That's money you don't even get to have in the first place!
Paycheck: mmmmmph!
State: Squeal, piggy!
Social Security: Well, that ruined him good. OK, he's all yours, boys!

...and with that, Medicare, Health, Union, and other small taxes that Paycheck could normally handle just had their way with him all week long. To this very day, he is only half the check he was before.

And that is why you get income from a 1099.
king of the mountain

wikioverload

Today is wheeler-griping-about-Wikipedia Day! yay!

hrngh!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Slashdot

I mean, really. 'Slashdot', yes. 'Slashdot effect', maybe. But separate entries for 'Slashdot trolling behavior'? 'Slashdot subculture'? 'History of Slashdot'? Individual moderators?

I know the world is changing, and our online identities will soon be universally regarded as our primary identities, and being famous on the internet for being someone on the internet is almost-but-not-quite as bona fide as being famous for being Lionel Richie's ugly daughter, but come on! Let's not put the effect before the change! This is like having one entry for Yazz and another for The Plastic Population!

(entire entry here)
  • Current Mood
    surviving
Nethack

Something short and sweet over in sages_of_chaos.

text_goes_here gives us those two words any gamer dreads to hear, and the classic choice: Continue, yes or no?

And thus, Cloud (clod_strife) decides to try, and apparently hits the wrong choice.

clod_strife:Might as well. Now which one do I...

anonymous:Ah, nuts!

Context here, short and sweet.

Non-locked, but QWP, nonetheless.

Edit: So I'm new to this. Link now goes to the entire thread, because really, you need to see the original post.

Son of Edit: Again, I'm new. Sue me.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Vincent

On the 7th Day, God Created.....BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!

Gotta love mom_almighty! She is a comic GENIUS!

In the beginning, there was The Movie. And The Movie was Finding Nemo. And it was cherished and beloved in the Casa Crisis household, especially by one Boy Wonder (who was so besotted with the heavenly clownfish and his friends that he requested near-daily viewings of The Movie) and one Mom Almighty (who enjoyed fulfilling her son's requests sometimes because it allowed her a much-needed moment or two of blissful peace). And thus, the household did prosper for some time, and the flowers bloomed and the grass grew and all the tiny creatures were at peace.

But lo, as time passed, the household gradually became filled with disquiet, as Finding Nemo was watched over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until all the members of the Casa Crisis family could recite all the lines by heart (except the dialogue during the shark part and the jellyfish part, which were always skipped through because they frightened the young and impressionable Boy Wonder), and the Boy Wonder's enthusiastic shouts of "Memo movie! Memo movie!" began to be greeted with exaggerated sighs and eye-rolling by Mom Almighty, who feigned enthusiasm in front of her son but was just mailing it in because she had secretly begun wishing the whiny little gimpy clownfish would just get sucked into the filter fan and diced into a million itty pieces. A black cloud settled over the household, and the family members looked to the heavens for an answer to their plight.

And then, one day, there came a messenger, in the form of a Letter Carrier (Mom Almighty has been told by experts in the field that postal employees prefer this term). And behold! The Letter Carrier delivered to the household a DVD from Netflix, and the DVD contained a New Movie. And the New Movie was Toy Story, and it was promptly viewed (except for the parts with Sid, which were skipped through because they might frighten the young and impressionable Boy Wonder or, worse yet, give him ideas) and beloved by all. And lo, soon the Boy Wonder began requesting "the Toy movie" on a near-daily basis, and once again Mom Almighty enjoyed fulfilling her son's requests, and the household did begin to prosper once again. And the clouds parted, and the angels sang softly of the Hallelujah Chorus, and once again, all the tiny creatures were at peace.

And it was Good.
  • Current Mood
    giggly Ell oh ell