February 14th, 2006

love

Oh, bless.

zeta_of_s muses on the best way to propose.

But I'll be restrained, and limit myself to saying only that in the list of Top Ten Times Not To Tell Someone That You've Just Asked His Daughter To Marry You, a strong contender for the No. 1 spot is "When He's Holding A Kitchen Knife".

QWP. And, um, I am the daughter in question so it is very nice he has finally told his flist.
  • Current Mood
    loved loved
Tick

First time quoter

idiosyncracy got a little lucky today in her adventures.

I got a little grocery shopping done today, and successfully avoided
succumbing to unnecessary chocolates and houseplants. I also managed to
succeed in not getting stuck behind slow moving little old ladies.


Context found here.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
agent may is unimpressed

On being an asshole writer

I want to enact a law that says that men aren't allowed to write women until they 1.) have been married for awhile* or 2.) have passed some sort of written test. Every woman written by a guy so far has been a characterless whore or tard. And, just to be fair, women aren't allowed to write romance until they've 1.) actually been in love, 2.) passed a written test** or 3.) had the phrases "I wonder if he likes me" and "I would die for you" electro-shocked out of their system. These may seem like cruel and unusual punishments, but they would make me happier, and that is the most important thing.

* In the case of gay men, a close friendship with a female lasting at least five years can be substituted.
** This test would mostly consist of questions like, "Is the prom the most important thing in the world?" and "Is getting married the most important thing in the world?"


msmarvel1, f-locked and QWP, really hates her Creative Writing classmates.
booknerd

politics + open mockery = good clean fun

In gop_vs_dem, the mocking never stops. In the comments to a post about our VEEP's recent adventure in quail hunting, morality_play had this to say:

Sigh. You can take the hillbilly out of the wood shed but you just can't take the wood shed out of the hillbilly.
I suspect this injury rates right up there with "impaled on flying NASCAR debris" and "my fee-on-say stabbebed me in the head with a nail file" as "most likely injury to be sustained by people living in the square states."


Context is for the weak.
QWP and all that.
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    "Last Flight Out" - Butch Walker
Storm2
  • ororo

(no subject)

Especially for Massacre Day, ladyotterfae brings us this gem from a flocked post. QWP:

"A frustrated romantic who has been burned and has a cynical (not to mention surrealistic) streak should not be allowed into any major retail establishment the night before Valentine's day. Seriously, the internal war could (and probably should) be turned into a novella in its own right. The happy-sappy "isn't it all beautiful and sweet" side was trying to figure out a way to set up a trip wire that would land the "what a bunch of hyper-commercialized crap" side in the rapidly diminishing display of roses. The "hey, let's watch the little boys scurry around at the last minute so they might get laid tomorrow" mutterling was seriously contemplating shoving the "never mind the people, these flowers are so pretty, can't we just enjoy the flowers?" naturechild face down into the onion bin. Eventually, the "oh, c'mon, it's sweet" and the "what about meeeee?" aspects got together and took common cause against the "I hate the world, and this is stupid" portion of the brain, and the assorted ammunition (largely consisting of cookies and tiny tins of chocolates, quite possibly explosive ones) began flying through the...right. I should probably get some sleep, shouldn't I? :)"
jenny, questioning, the l word, distressed

(no subject)

teaandcrime had a customer who didn't like gay people. Her co-worker found a good way to shut him up:
More of a funny waitress story than a sucky customer one, but I wanted to share. Recap: I'm a hostess, C is a waitress and Man is an evil man who complains about everything (service, food, etc) yet comes in all the time. He also complains to me and his server about things such as the devil that resides inside of homosexuals, etc.

Me: *waiting by the table because I needed to ask C something*
Man, to C: *stupid laugh* Your steak doesn't come from Brokeback Mountain, does it?
C: No, but our waiters do.
Me: *dies laughing*


QWP. That's the entire post, but it's here
pretty sunset
  • pknight

On VD, Darth, and dreams...

laisha has always had an ...interesting... perspective on life. VD is no exception...

Happy Hallmark Day to those of you with significant others, and a belated Happy Birthday to Kat. Perhaps you will recieve the severed sexual organs of plants. Or an abstract-thought shaped box of variety chocolates, only half of which are edible. Huzzah.

Me? I'm going to New Belgium Brewery for the annual Valentine Fund Raiser thingie for the humane society.

I had very scary dreams last night. One of which involved hiding in a closet from Zulu warriors who were after us because one of our asshole tourists shot an elephant. I was some kind of park warden/tour guide, and I had to dive through the window of a house because the elephant didn't die right away and it was pissed. Then I got to pet a panther. He was big and scary, and very very playful (read: People Bowling).

Jon didn't like the Darth Vader valentine I got for him. It says "I find your lack of valentines... disurbing. Be Mine!" He just sat there smacking his forehead over and over.
Worst Rescue Ever
  • reonyea

arlocuthalion on sitcoms and the Dutch:

I just watched an episode of "Gilmore Girls" with my parents that featured a supposedly Dutch milkmaid named Katrinka, who speaks no English. Allow me to elaborate:

1) We do not have milk maids. In fact, our country has managed to drag itself into the 21st century!
2) Katrinka isn't a Dutch name. Katinka is. No parent here would even consider "Katrinka". It's like an Englishman calling his daughter "Emrma".
3) Finding a Dutch girl of "Katrinka'" age - I'm guessing 20, 21 - who does NOT speak English, is about as difficult like finding Queen Elizabeth and George Bush together in a Kentucky gay bar.

I won't even go into the references to Amsterdam coffee shops.


(whole entry) From here:

http://arlocuthalion.livejournal.com/159230.html

This is my first time metaquoting, so hope I did it right!

Edit: QWP.
seated with candles
  • sperose

it's not about the car.

lilheathen expresses some frustration:

"I realized that when I was in high school, I could never get the hot guy with the hot car. Here I am, 23 and I still can't get the hot guy with the hot car. I guess I should be lucky if he has his fucking drivers license.

But it's not about the car. It's about the penis size."

QWP, context here, but its f-o.

-rosemary
stock; they all want to be us

"Fifth sign of the Apocalypse"

leelohm gets his prophet on over here.

And lo did the angel blow the fifth horn and such a dire travesty was unleashed across the land of men.

Intel then didst put its chip in Macs.

And hell did freeze over, yay verily, and Martha Stewart was set upon the back of the seven horned beast and some bit about the biscuits occured.


I can't believe it has come to pass! But its true! Intel chips in Macintosh computers! Run for the hills!


Quoted with apocalyptic permission, yo.
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    The Lion King Soundtrack - Be Prepared