"'...twice as tall as Tasha's five foot eight.'"
"Tasha's five foot eight what?"
"That would make it, what, ten foot sixteen?"
"'...a continuous loop of pleasure.'"
"If, then, else, go to ten; if, then, else, go to ten..."
"I'm reading the rest of this as fast as I can to get it over with."
"'Ten-Minute Stories: Five Minutes of Erotica, Five of Snark.'"
i love this magical time of the year when the vice president emerges from his secret underground bunker, looks around, and opens fire.
Many wonderful icons included in post.
In these post-9/11 times, if you check your field of fire, the terrorists have won.
Here, with a kickass Shane icon to boot.
Q: How many Cam does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: Let's see, after filing the appropriate requests with the regional administrator, who then sends for permission from the larger body... then checking to make sure the requests are in line with the bylaws... and wrangling to make sure no one has exceeded their authority... about 483 before they tell you that, in fact, you need to switch to fluorescent lighting instead.
A2: It's against our policy to answer such questions. And don't even think about informing anyone else of this policy.
A3: Inappropriate question. Disciplinary procedures will begin immediately.
A RULE of METAQUOTES...
No matter what the original post,
shaysdays can immediately turn the discussion around by posting her icon of the psycho-grinning pink titty-shaking woman. Instantly, people will talk about how much her icon disturbs them.
This will ALWAYS be true.
Not that it is all that horrible if you are part of a couple. But I am not so I have no choice but to loathe V-day. Stupid Hallmark with their magnetic kissing bears. Stupid Whitmans Sampler and Russel Stover with their large heart shaped boxes of nastily filled candy. These people make a killing on this "feel bad if you are single" holiday. Perhaps I will take myself on a date this year. I will greet myself at the door with roses and then go to a romantic candlelit dinner for one. I just hope I dont get fresh with myself and have to slap me. That would be most unfortunate. The idea of a "F#$% Valentines Day" gathering has been proposed and so maybe misery will get company. Dont misunderstand me, I am not as bitter as I sound. Its just more fun to be bitter than lonely.
QWP, and the entire post is here
in response to a question about the legal usage of the bathroom of the opposite sex, genepool23 in thequestionclub wrote:
"Here's a legal question for you: Q. There is one person inside a house, standing naked near an open window. There is another person outside, looking in. Which one is breaking the law?
A. The man."
An excerpt from her chronicles of their lies:
We have an appointment to see a place on Monday that sounds great, with the only catch we've noticed so far being that it has an April 1 move-in date (totally worth it for a great place). After yesterday's heartbreak, we started theorizing about what they might tell us once we get there:
- You can bring your cat, but you will also be expected to take care of the owner's pitbull.
- There's a leak in the corner. Don't worry, it's just a tiny leak. Put a pot under it and you'll never notice the dripping.
- Being present in the apartment more than 2 hours per day is a violation of the lease agreement and will lead to immediate eviction. (A la rosefox's mother.)
- By garden apartment, we actually meant top floor. The garden is on the roof.
- The move-in date is April 1, 2007.
- There will be a maximum decibel level written into the lease.
- It's really a studio.
- There's no catch, except you can't move that altar in the center of the apartment.
- And pay no attention to the odor of brimstone.
- The walls must be kept painted with fresh human blood. You don't want to find out what happens when it dries. (This is why there are so few hobos in the north slope.)
- At the end of the lease term, you will be killed and served to the owners as the main course in their annual fancy dinner.
- And you have to walk through the bedroom to get to the kitchen.
Today I poured myself a glass of soy chai, and there, on the Oregon Chai box, next to the little flip-top plastic thingy, were the words, "retrieval portal." When did a "pour spout" or "opening" or "top" become a "retrieval portal"?QWP from here.
I don't want to retrieve my chai from a portal, what is this, Star Trek: The Next Drink? I want to pour it out of the box into my glass. And just how can I retrieve what was never placed or lost by me in the first place? Am I paying them to be part of their nationwide Chai Retrieval Squad? Where's my special chai retrieval training and my scholarship money for college? Is this a one-weekend-a-month, two-weeks-a-year Chai Retrieval Squad Reserves kind of deal? Are we ramping up to a day when Vin Diesel dives from a helicopter into my box of chai shouting, "The Green Berets leave no one behind!" in order to retrieve my morning beverage-of-choice?
It occurs to me that adult diaper companies could make a small fortune by importing Americans into this country and forcing them to drive around on the public roadways for a day or two.
Which then inspired canuckerrant to write this:
( Collapse )
Yeah so I'm watching Grey's Anatomy last night when a news blurb comes on saying something about the vice president accidentally shooting a friend. It would be nice if I was absolutely shocked by anything like that concerning Cheney, but no. Not really. Although my first two thoughts on the matter were a little bit suspicious of the whole thing.--fallenangelfish here
2) He has friends?
laeladair discusses the merits of dubbed anime as compared to the subtitled Japanese stuff.
I think it's more of a status thing to prefer the Japanese originals. Like drinking coffee that was carried here on the back of a sweating mule from the Andes vs. opening up a good old pressurized can of Insta-grinds.
So I was completely caught off-guard when I opened the boxes to find LITTLE RAT PUPS all lying together in RAT PILES, which are great because this lets you pet all of them at once, and was unable to contain a squeal of an extremely undignified nature.
Context, with pictures to match.
There should be an Other People Suck day, complete with foul-tasting candy you can pass out to co-workers and little voodoo dolls mistreated in effigy.
Groups can get together and have Secret Haters. Pick a name out of a hat and send them an anonymous diatribe.
One person doing it would be an asshole. If two people did it, they'd both be assholes and everyone would shun them. But if three people did it? If three people did it, it would be a movement. An Other People Suck movement.
QWP. That's the entire post, but for reference, it's here