February 13th, 2006

leaves

(no subject)

okay, i'm new here. this is my first post so here's hoping i'm not forgetting to do anything!!

found here, said by frizzlefrazzle

when logging in to online banking with a brand new card, it's important to announce things.

"I finally remembered my name! Er... I mean my number!"
Electric Sex Leg Lamp

Said While Reading Five-Minute Erotica

callinectes was reading 5-minute erotica...:
"'...twice as tall as Tasha's five foot eight.'"
"Tasha's five foot eight what?"
"That would make it, what, ten foot sixteen?"

.......--clip--............

"'...a continuous loop of pleasure.'"
"If, then, else, go to ten; if, then, else, go to ten..."
"Geek."

.......--clip--............

"I'm reading the rest of this as fast as I can to get it over with."
"'Ten-Minute Stories: Five Minutes of Erotica, Five of Snark.'"
craziness

Because sometimes bad RP systems suck too

avalonxq writes in a locked entry about a friend's attempts to reason with the local chapter of the Camarilla (QWP):

Q: How many Cam does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A1: Let's see, after filing the appropriate requests with the regional administrator, who then sends for permission from the larger body... then checking to make sure the requests are in line with the bylaws... and wrangling to make sure no one has exceeded their authority... about 483 before they tell you that, in fact, you need to switch to fluorescent lighting instead.

A2: It's against our policy to answer such questions. And don't even think about informing anyone else of this policy.

A3: Inappropriate question. Disciplinary procedures will begin immediately.
  • Current Music
    Your Eyes - Rent
oh shit, oh nooooooo, horror

VDay

mjcaudle is not a huge fan of Valentine's day:

Not that it is all that horrible if you are part of a couple. But I am not so I have no choice but to loathe V-day. Stupid Hallmark with their magnetic kissing bears. Stupid Whitmans Sampler and Russel Stover with their large heart shaped boxes of nastily filled candy. These people make a killing on this "feel bad if you are single" holiday. Perhaps I will take myself on a date this year. I will greet myself at the door with roses and then go to a romantic candlelit dinner for one. I just hope I dont get fresh with myself and have to slap me. That would be most unfortunate. The idea of a "F#$% Valentines Day" gathering has been proposed and so maybe misery will get company. Dont misunderstand me, I am not as bitter as I sound. Its just more fun to be bitter than lonely.


QWP, and the entire post is here
sith

Finding an apartment in NY ISN'T easy!!

regyt is not having any apartment luck, but it's mostly because NY brokers are lying scumbags:

An excerpt from her chronicles of their lies:

We have an appointment to see a place on Monday that sounds great, with the only catch we've noticed so far being that it has an April 1 move-in date (totally worth it for a great place). After yesterday's heartbreak, we started theorizing about what they might tell us once we get there:

- You can bring your cat, but you will also be expected to take care of the owner's pitbull.
- There's a leak in the corner. Don't worry, it's just a tiny leak. Put a pot under it and you'll never notice the dripping.
- Being present in the apartment more than 2 hours per day is a violation of the lease agreement and will lead to immediate eviction. (A la rosefox's mother.)
- By garden apartment, we actually meant top floor. The garden is on the roof.
- The move-in date is April 1, 2007.
- There will be a maximum decibel level written into the lease.
- It's really a studio.
- There's no catch, except you can't move that altar in the center of the apartment.
- And pay no attention to the odor of brimstone.
- The walls must be kept painted with fresh human blood. You don't want to find out what happens when it dries. (This is why there are so few hobos in the north slope.)
- At the end of the lease term, you will be killed and served to the owners as the main course in their annual fancy dinner.
- And you have to walk through the bedroom to get to the kitchen.


QWP.
  • Current Music
    Two Headed Boy Part 2 - Neutral Milk Hotel
bagel yummy

unnecessary labeling

tiggrrl decries the overly high-tech labeling on her box of chai:
Today I poured myself a glass of soy chai, and there, on the Oregon Chai box, next to the little flip-top plastic thingy, were the words, "retrieval portal." When did a "pour spout" or "opening" or "top" become a "retrieval portal"?

I don't want to retrieve my chai from a portal, what is this, Star Trek: The Next Drink? I want to pour it out of the box into my glass. And just how can I retrieve what was never placed or lost by me in the first place? Am I paying them to be part of their nationwide Chai Retrieval Squad? Where's my special chai retrieval training and my scholarship money for college? Is this a one-weekend-a-month, two-weeks-a-year Chai Retrieval Squad Reserves kind of deal? Are we ramping up to a day when Vin Diesel dives from a helicopter into my box of chai shouting, "The Green Berets leave no one behind!" in order to retrieve my morning beverage-of-choice?
QWP from here.
coffee to share

(no subject)

akujunkan on driving in Japan:

It occurs to me that adult diaper companies could make a small fortune by importing Americans into this country and forcing them to drive around on the public roadways for a day or two.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
[donna noble] and i think my time machin

Monkey Lovin'

On scans_daily, greenygal wrote, "...and now I have the image of Grodd/King Kong (OTP of Hot Monkey Love!) in my head, which honestly I could have done without. *g* It'll never last, though; sooner or later Kong will run off with a screaming blonde, and a heartbroken Grodd will send a squadron of brainwashed fighter pilots to kill him, and it'll all end in tears."

Which then inspired canuckerrant to write this:

Collapse )
scum angel!

(no subject)

Yeah so I'm watching Grey's Anatomy last night when a news blurb comes on saying something about the vice president accidentally shooting a friend. It would be nice if I was absolutely shocked by anything like that concerning Cheney, but no. Not really. Although my first two thoughts on the matter were a little bit suspicious of the whole thing.

Namely:

1) Accidentally?

2) He has friends?
--fallenangelfish here
Boobies!

Big in Japan.

laeladair  discusses the merits of dubbed anime as compared to the subtitled Japanese stuff.

I think it's more of a status thing to prefer the Japanese originals. Like drinking coffee that was carried here on the back of a sweating mule from the Andes vs. opening up a good old pressurized can of Insta-grinds.

Context, of course.

chick

Cuteness attack.

strangepowers, on recieving a new shipments of rats to experiment on:

So I was completely caught off-guard when I opened the boxes to find LITTLE RAT PUPS all lying together in RAT PILES, which are great because this lets you pet all of them at once, and was unable to contain a squeal of an extremely undignified nature.


Context, with pictures to match.
satan is a lesbian

(no subject)

marys_second is also not a big fan of V-Day:

There should be an Other People Suck day, complete with foul-tasting candy you can pass out to co-workers and little voodoo dolls mistreated in effigy.

Groups can get together and have Secret Haters. Pick a name out of a hat and send them an anonymous diatribe.

One person doing it would be an asshole. If two people did it, they'd both be assholes and everyone would shun them. But if three people did it? If three people did it, it would be a movement. An Other People Suck movement.


QWP. That's the entire post, but for reference, it's here