February 11th, 2006

SOMETHING IN THE UNIVERSE LOVES ME.

(no subject)

eulipion is a displaced New Orleans citizen who is the author of one of my favorite reads, The Wet Bank Guide. He recently posted his pledge to run for mayor in neworleans. Though I was very amused by all he had to write, this was the part of the pledge that made me laugh out loud:

"Crime will continue to be a problem in New Orleans, and I intended to be harsh but fair. [...] All minor offenses will be pushed by Death by Chocolate, while more serious offenses will result in a one-way bus ticket to Houston. I think that sentencing someone to Houston might constitute cruel and unusual punishment, but I believe we must be firm."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
thefuck (by lannacht)

That's one way to get a head . . .

arielography ponders a news item about a woman charged with smuggling a human head through customs.

Okay, now outside of the fact that I feel *horrible* for the screener who found this thing, let's be honest here.

How does one *get* proper documentation to import a head. And I really didn't know that there was even a *charge* for "failure to declare the head" at customs.

Is there even a SPACE on a form for that?

"Do you have anything to declare?"
"Yes"
"What"
"I have a head in my luggage"
"I'm sorry, a what?"
"A head"
"Head of lettuce?"
"No, head of person"
"You can't bring a head into the US"
"But I declared it!"
"I don't care you can't bring some dead guy's head in the country"
" BUT I PUT IT DOWN ON THE FORM!!"
  • Current Music
    Duran Duran, "Liberty"
one ring you know you want it

Cheaper than Mickey D's

From a friends-locked entry of of_evangeline. Quoted with permission.

me: I'm not that hungry. A side of Mario's potatoes sound good.
Vakul: Omg everything comes with unlimited bread and salad. We can pig out, girls!
me: You're such a woman.
waitress: Here are your endless bowls of salad and ridiculously tiny loaves of bread!
me: We will make you come back thirty seven times.

Later:

me: Cannot...go on...
Valerie: You haven't finished your side-dish. It's smaller than a platelet.
me: And yet my hand is reaching for more bread. I can't seem to stop.
Valerie: Oh, gluttony.
me: For serious.

And that is how I ate my fill at a restaurant for two dollars and forty five cents. Uhuh, who's yo' ghetto princess?
  • Current Mood
    amused amused