February 9th, 2006

Random {Anyone who doesn't like you is w

I WILL RULE THE WORLD!

In an entry of mine, I mused about how Google is taking over the world a bit at a time, and their new gmail IM program is helping achieve that goal.

As usual, active_apathy brought the funny:

ellieptical: But world domination by gmail doesn't sound too bad, seems better than world domination by hotmail.

active_apathy: *nods* Agreed.

"We're sorry. The millions of billboards for penis enlargement, viagra, cheap mobile phones, overseas prescription medications and Nigerian inheritances have taken up more than your allowed portion of the world. We have now deleted your house, your friends, your family and Mrs. Jenkins' dog to get your existence back within your world quota..."

isn't nearly as fun as

"Well, you get this massive piece of the world. Also, you can talk to everyone, keep everything, and everyone's bit of the world is going to grow continually. No, really - you can watch it here. And you can invite 100 other people to the world, too! And your world comes with the power of Google search built right into it, so you never lose stuff ever again. Oh! And all the ads are now tasteful, stylish and unbotrusive text, related to what you're actually doing at the time. Not to worry - it's all automated, and no-one's monitoring your life."
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(no subject)

morriganslayde is funnier than she thinks she is. F-locked, QWP, all rights reserved, offered as-is, no refunds.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend and I spit a wonderful gem out of my mouth.

Me: "The other day I was talking to myself and I made a joke and nobody got it."

Her: *stare*

Me: "I should just shut up now, shouldn't I?"

Her: "Yes, that would be best."
Burn, Myrna Loy, Smolder

Reviewing The New World

virginiadare reviewed The New World in a f'locked post. I quote here with permission:
The Peruvian star of the film, Introducing Q'Orianka Kilcher spent the whole movie twirling, waving her arms, dripping water on herself and touching Colin Farrell like she was a raccoon and he was a shiny piece of tin.
I debated putting that behind a cut tag, but, hey, it's not exactly a plot spoiler.
hell

First post :O

sharktapus has come up with the perfect solution for that annoying ticking biological clock.

I was telling Suubeans how I was considering become a surrogate mother. Why? I dunno. I feel like if I never plan to use my womb for myself, I might as well loan it out to someone who'll need it? *shrugs* Odd I know.

So I told her I wanted to rent it out. Then this ad popped into my head.

"Womb for rent. 1 bed, 1 bath. Spacious until about the last month. Food and utilities included. Must sign a 9month lease."

Heh. I wonder if there will be any offers? It's in a great part of California?! XDDD
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  • fes42

Guilt of the Mother kind

awfief had a no good very bad day topped off with wedding planning stress and a whole heaping serving of guilt from her mother.

To quote awfief: "Not. Her. Wedding. She's not getting married. She's not paying. She's not helping. I can understand her upsetness with any of these three issues, but to say that I'm hurting her by not having a Jewish wedding? That kind of guilt didn't last once I started paying my own taxes."

Entire post here.
silly hats only

Marketing Idea: Punishment Pyjamas

A post from elfs (Kouryou is his daughter):

I think someone ought to start a company called Brussel Sprouts Pyjamas. They make high-priced, ugly pyjamas for children. Pyjamas with pictures of crying babies. Pyjamas printed with brussel sprouts and liver. Pyjamas with pictures of sludge plumbers and garbage men as drawn by Don Martin, complete with flies. Pyjamas in hideous, splotchy greens, greys and browns. They'd have be comfy as hell, but unpleasant to look at.

I keep telling Kouryou-chan that if she doesn't stay in bed, I'm gonna buy her ugly pyjamas. She's obsessed with pretty colors, and actually having a pair of such pyjamas would be good incentive. Of course, it might always backfire and we'd end up with a Goth child.
  • ems

Next we need a way to bring back John Lennon. Any suggestions?

tubofgoodthings in this post in statements:
I was watching Tom Cruise getting all hyper on Oprah's show, and I thought to myself that if he was put in a room with Dane Cook, Jim Carrey, Steve Irwin and Robin Williams, the resulting hyperactivity would create a rip in the very fabric of space and time, and so this is how I propose we bring back Janis Joplin.
I suggest throwing Wyatt himself in with them - something weird is guaranteed to happen that way.
MOUSTACHE!

(no subject)

In which missdeep has a weird day: (QWP, locked)

After having a dream about being serial-killed yesterday at like, 5am, I decided to wallow about in bed avoiding sunlight for the next twelve hours. During my vegetative period I was half-awake marathoning Scrubs (New DVDs! Two seasons for the price of one? I'm laughing, bitches. Starving... BUT LAUGHING) when I heard someone come into my unit. This isn't as extraordinary as it may seem for someone currently living with zero roommates, the housing-hired-checking-room-status-guy is always stopping by to make sure that I'm not, y'know, hiding fourteen Villawood escapees in my bookcase. Anyway, surprise surprise, that was who my visitor was yesterday. Here's where the story gets interesting; if I was in my room with the blinds drawn, the door locked, the lights off, Scrubs up so loud I forgot my own name for three hours; then how on Earth did I find out it was the checking-room-status-guy who had indeed entered my horrible home?

Answer: He came into my room.

Oh yes, he knocked twice then opened the fucker up with his magical key. So there I was, hair looking like something out of Ripley's and wearing nothing but my underwear, as he slid the door open, took one look at the incredibly stunned occupant (me) and went "Oh, sorry."

Ok the only thing more disturbing than his response to seeing a practically naked twenty two year-old woman half awake and freaked by his sudden appearance in a clearly occupied room ("Oh, sorry." for those playing at home) was my response to his pathetic "Oh, sorry". Which, for the record was "Haha! It's ok!". Spoken tone: jovial, Internal sentiments: omg mr moustache get the fuck out of my room!!1!!1
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