February 7th, 2006

default - alice at the gate

(no subject)

camiah's brilliant assessment of this year's Super Bowl Halftime show...

"I'm so glad that ABC has undertaken the herculean task of protecting my virgin ears from the sound of Mick Jagger saying "cock". I'd also at this time register my objection to the partial nudity I witnessed--the sight of Mick Jagger's lilly white belly gave Charlie seizures and Bella won't come out from under the bed. Clearly this nudity has caused severe trauma to my dogs. We must say no to this partial nudity that is running rampant in our society!"

Surveys are usually boring...

...except when lytabenten is answering them.

From her Survey of Doom post:

"108. Who was the last person to piss you off?
~ The pretentious bastards in my creative writing class. If I have to hear the phrase "Something about it just doesn't flow." I'm going to beat them to death with Yeats.

  • Current Music
po3 doll//calm


From the oft-quoted fanficrants, gothique had this to say about Tom Felton, the actor who portrays Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter movies.

One thing to note in any to-be written DM/HG fanfic:


Tom Felton is an actor who portrays him in film. Draco is a fictional character from a book. So if I ever read about Draco's obsession with fish ever again, I will personally throw a carp on your while you are sleeping.

It amused the hell out of me, anyway. ;)
  • Current Music
    Imogen Heap - The Moment I Said It [Speak For Yourself]
  • rikoshi

To Drink or Not to Drink: THAT is the question!

kaysho lays out the pros and cons of booze-free bashing:

Advantages of my going to a party and not drinking alcohol:

  • Not suffering the depressant effects of alcohol, which allows me to party for eight hours instead of my usual two if I've had a wine cooler or a beer.
  • Not saying nearly as many "witty" things that turn out with hindsight to have been incredibly stupid or insulting.
  • Driving home any time I want to or if the dogs need to be fed.
  • Odds of accidentally being the star of an infamous Internet video are much reduced.

Disadvantages of my going to a party and not drinking alcohol:

  • Massive coolers full of beer get all lonely and emo as you repeatedly walk past them to refill your glass with iced tea.
  • Diet Coke with Lemon.
  • Lack of alcohol-free beverages that can realistically be served with cheerful little pink umbrellas in them.
  • Odds of accidentally being the star of an infamous Internet video are much reduced.
Art - Fini - Dimanche

Fun with Gas

From the journal of mr_pugh:

We got our second gas bill today, and I suspect steam shot out of our ears cartoon style when we saw it was for $570. Especially since our first month's bill had only been 38 bucks.

A call was hastily made. Turns out they "estimate" how much your bill should be. Every second month they take a shot in the dark as to how much you should pay them. And based on that previous bill for a whopping 38 dollars, we're obviously out of control, gas-huffing, freakazoid people who turn all the burners on the stove up full blast all day long because fire is pretty.

But if you call them up and ask, "What, exactly, is the fuck?", they just get you to go read the meter and they'll send you a new bill. What a quaint system. "Meter says YOU owe ME twenty bucks, Enbridge dude. Drop it off anytime.".
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Let this world explode

Two metaquotes in one post!

xiphias, on great literature:

First, I downloaded Moby Dick to my PalmPilot, to have more random stuff to read with me -- it's important to always have a book or two on you, and the greatest strength of the PalmPilot is that it makes it practical to always have twenty or thirty books on you.

I'm only up to chapter six, but I'm really enjoying it.

Okay, I've avoided the book in the past, because everyone always talked about how Great it was, and how it dealt with The Human Condition, and never once did anyone use the adjective "wacky".

Like I said, I'm only up to chapter six -- but, so far, I would like to be the first to publicly state, "Moby Dick is wacky fun."

And on constructively channeling anger:

Anyway, on Sunday, after coming home from Hebrew School, I was so pissed off and angry that I decided to make something inedible. I was feeling mean and destructive, so I decided that a good way to deal with it would be to make an alcoholic beverage so nasty that nobody could possibly ever stomach it. And I didn't simply want to mix something unpotable -- I wanted to brew it.

As you know, Bob, anything with sugar in it can ferment when you add yeast to it, so I set about to take some of the nastiest sugariest stuff in the kitchen, and mix it with water and yeast in a gallon glass jug to set aside for a couple days to ferment.

Which is why there is a jug of Tang Mead bubbling away on my kitchen counter right now. Unfortunately, it's actually smelling lack-of-horrible, and, while there is no remote possibility of this tasting GOOD, it may fail to be completely undrinkable.

Found here.
Anxious, Klaus Baudelaire

<3 godless heathens

smu has a close Catholic encounter.

"Hello, are you a Christian?" says the man manning the booth with a very big grin.

"No," I say, after lifting my head in shock at being spoken to, "I'm a godless heathen. But the rosaries are pretty."


You know you've had an interesting day when you get free religious paraphenalia for absolutely no reason.
  • Current Mood
    amused lulz
agent may is unimpressed

Bow down to the doqz...

...because he can explain and elucidate about the current Danish cartoon kerfuffle better than anyone.

More demonstrations and burning of the embassies followed. Denmark appeared paralyzed with confusion because last time somebody declared jihad on them was…. Actually nobody ever declared jihad on Denmark before. Well jihad on you, you cookie-making bitches! (I honestly spent about 15 minutes trying to figure out a better ethnic slur for the Danes. I already used up the Viking angle and I am saving Aryan stuff for later.)

Back off, bitches! He's mine!
[c] hark! a vagrant! - eat a dick
  • renne

(no subject)

in my journal i posted a small slashy picspam of frank & gerard from my chemical romance. in a thread commenting on one of pictures, the following exchange occurs:

gillian_sans: It is cute, but I would like to see Gerard just button one more button on that shirt. Add a gold chain and I'm officially changing his name to Guido. Smarmy.
renne: you know, he's probably got the bling somewhere. probably got it from jay-z. does jay-z wear bling? (i don't know, i don't hardly know who jay-z is, except he does with that "rap" stuff... /geriatric)
gillian_sans: Yes, Jay-Z is a rapper. He also owns a couple of clubs, has a clothing line, runs a record label, has his own drink, and has sex with Beyonce. I don’t think that last thing makes him any money, but I bet it’s just as much work.
  • Current Music
    the theme from futurama
Chainsaw of natural selection.

Two bees, or not two bees?

myaibou is not having such a good day. She talks about it in this post.


Oh, we have this flowering plant by the front door that attracts a bunch of bees. We need to get rid of it because it's like a bee obstacle course to get to our door, although today I was thinking there might be a benefit when annoying salesperson arrived. Then again, he bitched about the bees, but they didn't actually stop him from interrupting me and ringing my bell, now, did they? So maybe instead of getting rid of the bees I need to get some Africanized ones or something. "That's right, Mr. Salesman. Come and ring my doorbell if you must, but only if you can pass through the Bees of Doom! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Furry Computer Mice

(no subject)

So, I found out today there's now Heaven - The RPG happening via LJ. I'd quote the full entry, if I could, but will stick with one snippit from this post by akktri:

"So...you're God? Yahweh?"
"Then...none of the other religions were true, then? Not even slightly true?"
God gave him a much deeper answer than a simple yes.

As usual, take the quote and the source as you will! I don't judge them, I just find them...

(no subject)

bribitribbit talks about having blondes for friends:

I must point out my best friend's blatant blondeness. (Sorry, blondes. I'm really one of you at heart. But she really is blonde.) Anyway, Meghan went to the soccer field to take pictures, right? And Kristina is on the other side, waving like a loon. Meghan interprets this for "Hello, friend, come here!" when it actually means "MOVE YOU DOLT, A GAGGLE OF SOCCER PLAYERS IS RUNNING AT YOU." Meghan waves back. Then Meghan looks to the right. Meghan almost died today.

That made me laugh for five minutes straight. Oh, the imagery. :D