Metaquotes

This is a breaking report....

Report: ::shatters::

I'm coming to you live from Newlaptopvillia. A lot of excitement is going on in the background you see behind me - updates, loadings, unloadings. It's practically a configuration party. And woah, what a party it is, folks. The sound system is thrumming, the view is spectacular, and the locals are going wild.

Locals: ::wear lampshades::



fierydragonsky here.

May have just died laughing. QWP,adux visits her doctor:



Doc O. "What does it feel like?"

Adux "Like a big Dungeness crab pinching me. I know you didn't stick a crab in there."

Doc O. "No, I didn't. And FYI, here in America, don't use the word 'crab' when talking about that area."

Adux ::headdesk, or headexaminationtable, as the case may be:: "We call those Shame Lice in Holland."

Following last week's Quiz about Kings, this week's Quiz theme was Queens. Within this theme, we covered Australian geography, rap music, superheroes, & cross-dressing.

Cross-dressing?

General Zod and Agent Smith dress as women. Hilarity ensues. What movie are we thinking of?

"Hey, how'd you get a copy of my birthday party tape? Did you see what Agent Smith did to the pinata? Took me weeks to get the stains out." - uncut_diamond

"Queen Eye for a Straight Government Agent." - woap

"Super-Matrix 2: Tranvestite Boogaloo" - arib

"Sweet Rivendale High" - vyseryn

"111100101000110101101100011110001010110111100001010 (Which roughly translates as 'Priscilla, Queen of the Matrix.')" - packyrsuitcases

"They later teamed up for the sequel, Priszilla: Queen Of Tokyo." - tofusquirrel

Correct Answer: Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

The ljdq: Smart is easy, funny is hard. Accepting new members continually!

Wowser Guy Adams, warning us against the Gay Agenda, asks, in shocked italics and boldface,

I am not trying to be provocative for the sake of shock value alone, but with good reason I ask you, when the curtain folds and the light fades to black, just what do homosexuals do with each other in bed?

Well, Mr. Adams, it might interest you to know that many heterosexual women ponder this question. You may wish to believe that the buzzing sound is their sweet little feminine minds rising to heights of disgust and revulsion.
QWP

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The rest of us over here on the Left appreciate the effort and would love it if you'd pick up batteries on the way home, supergee.

failedoptimist is not having a good day:

MY DAY:

1) Never tip the bag of doritos back to eat the crumbs with your eyes open... the dust burns... BURNS...

2)Do not try to wipe dorito dust out of eye with hand which was previously holding glass of iced tea. iced tea does not remain in glass when help perpendicular to the floor..

3) Do not sneezing from dorito dust while mouth full of dorito, groaning in pain, eyes watering attempt to leave privacy of office, unless you wish to appear comical to coworkers.

QWP :)

cmpriest replies to a poor soul who mistook her name for her vocation.

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They all come together in this f-locked post from missingdonut, QWP. And he includes ads!

THIS ENTRY BROUGHT TO YOU BY BERGHOFF BEER AND THEIR SEASONAL HAZELNUT WINTER ALE, AN ALE WITH A HINT OF NATURAL HAZELNUT FLAVOR. THAT'S BERGHOFF, PROUDLY BREWED IN WISCONSIN SINCE 1845

The hot but unavailable bird in apartment #5 (right across the hallway from me) moved at the end of last month, leaving just the homely guy who doesn't have a car and myself on the top floor. Strangely, she was the neighbor I knew the most about, and all I knew about her was that her boyfriend was cool and that she had a shitty job as a waitress. I'm not much of a neighbor, I guess...

It's been enjoyable, actually, having no neighbor nearby. More room to park my car and louder music. Now I have to "tone down" and "be considerate" and "wear pants" and shit.

PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO TRY BERGHOFF DARK BEER, WITH A RICH, DEEP, CHOCOLATE FLAVOR. THAT'S BERGHOFF, THE OFFICIAL BEER OF DE CASA EL missingdonut, PROUDLY BREWED IN MONROE, WISCONSIN SINCE 1845

In a locked entry of mine wherein I bitch about how my job sucks because we're being asked to work 12 hours straight on Sunday for Super Bowl coverage, lost_in_my_room gives me a plan...

well that just means you will be there alone... you know that means that you need to get some more of those soap crayons you sent me and make cave paintings in the bathroom stalls. you might even be able to fashion a wierd tribal kind of clothing out of an emergency blanket and a head-dress out of cables and pens. you will be DANAGA! chief priestess of IMBOOBOO, the lizard god! Imbooboo demands you bring his priestess salsa... and chicken fingers

for serious, if they come in and find you wearing nothing but a grimy blanket and with cake frosting smeared across your face like warpaint and you're huddled in a corner over a small shrine you made out of cardboard boxes and erasers, you will NEVER be asked to do superbowl duty again

QWP, and all that.

bubbles83 knows her bad movies:

I actually watched all of Swarmed. It was pretty bad. On a scale of 1 to Gigli, it probably rates somewhere around Boa Vs Python.

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QWP, here http://community.livejournal.com/feminist_rage/1049015.html?#cutid1

By mistrtoad from motorcycles,

"It's a design study. It doesn't have to actually work. :^) Further illustrating the yawning chasm between designers and engineers ..."

The comment, and the post.

gakifang is having a very BAD day...

But when it's all 'why me whine whine whine', it's emo bitching.

 

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"Coretta Scott King died today, the same day Samuel Alito was confirmed to the Supreme Court of the United States.

Not that I'm implying that he has anything to do with the death of civil rights." -tiarageek here

From slipstream_chan, a comment on a story about crazed PETA people on customers_suck:


I don't wear fur myself, 'cause the feel of it kind of icks me out, but I do have to wonder about the people who deem themselves as being holier-than-thou for not wearing fur, all the while sporting thick coats made out of man-made fibers and plastics created and refined in factories that spew leftover chemical gunk into the air. Yep. Way to save the planet, there.

As for me, I'm doing my part and living naked out in the woods with my fellow beasties, eating lichen and accessing the internet through the power of my mind. It is a lonely, cold existence, but I believe the end justify the means.

But it is World Net Daily, so "some people" could be "one guy in a shack with a marmut".


- galut_boded, in this post* about a "controversy" re AOL's new IM slogan and whether or not it's blasphemous.

The poll on the Worldnet article.... yipe.




* (weirdjews only permits response by community members) Oh, and the subject is a quote, too.

Over in the crack known as fandomhigh, Phoebe-mun is bemoaning her username woes when Logan-mun kills me ded. QWP and all that jazz.

sensethevisions: [. . .] Or maybe LJ just hates me :)

psycho_jackass: Maybe you overloaded its emo quotient? :)

Oh, wait, this is LiveJournal. They have entire servers set aside for emo.

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"I've had good sex with hot boys, but the best fuck I ever had was a huge nerd with 5 computers and bad teeth." elitist_maus from bad_sex

http://community.livejournal.com/bad_sex/2482999.html

onlyonechoice had this to say about a typical Mary Sue app...

*facepalm* A face to make Angels sing? I would make a heavenly choir bust out with, "Louie, Louie" or "That Don't Impress Me Much" every time she makes an entrance.

original thread

Edit: Stupid HTML. Stupid not being able to stay logged in >_

edward_hyde wrote in this entry, about the news story of starcrossed platonic love between a hamster and a snake in a Tokyo Zoo:

TheYodels: OMG
TheYodels: There should be a MOVIE
Youko Inari: A buddy movie!
Youko Inari: Buddy COPS
TheYodels: YES
TheYodels: Buddy cops on a ROADTRIP
Youko Inari: "Aochan! Your behavior is not by the book! YOU'RE OFF THE FORCE!"
TheYodels: YES
TheYodels: But he gets things done!
Youko Inari: And the hamster is the best friend he's ever had and helps him find the crime lord that killed his father! THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP IS FOR JUSTICE
Youko Inari: Then at the end of the movie the hamster gets to join the force too. Take that, segregation!
TheYodels: Hooray!

In which thinkaboutme83 deals with asstarded homophobes on customers_suck:

STOP SAYING "LEZZIES." It's LESBIANS. Say it with me: LEZ-BEE-ANNS. And don't say "Lezzies who will go home and cadoodle each other's puffs." You sound like the retarded cousin of A Clockwork Orange.

(Incidentally, the first time I typed "homophobes" up there it came out "homophones." Heh.)

If hell goes by the same rules, then what would happen if everyone had all their different hells combined into one Super Jello Tower Hell of Doom?

~oxymoronicism in a friend-locked now unlocked post, QWP through AIM.

Context, if you really must have it

From Mock_The_Stupid http://community.livejournal.com/mock_the_stupid/2113170.html

duyan_ng_digma says this:

*breaks rib from laughing, rib pierces heart, dies and goes to heaven to sing I WILL SURVIVE with jesus*

(*winces* and I can't get some of the tags to work like I wanted to)

QWP