January 12th, 2006


OMG Ninja v Pirates!

In an entry exhorting us all to click this link, karenhealey notes:

(You know what would be the best movie ever? Ninja vs. Pirates, with Angelina Jolie as a ninja, and Colin Farrell as her pirate lover. And Brad Pitt as their loveable animal sidekick. It would be a movie so awesome that you would claw your eyes out afterwards, to avoid the crushing disappointment of seeing "real life".)

Also, as a public service annoucement, I think I really ought to tell you to click this link.
Penguin Cymbals

Now *that* is *awesome*

tacologic waxes enthusiastic about the Chicago Bears defense:
What's up NFC? How do you like that? The Chicago Bears own you. That's right, their defense is more awesome than the most awesome of things ever. Even village idiot Sean Salisbury ranks them as the #2 team in the NFC. Of course, they're actually #1, but he's confused because he's legally retarded. He thinks the Seahawks are #1, but that's stupid, because they are just birds and birds can't beat bears. If they were the Seattle Dragons or the Seattle GreatWhiteSharkCrocodileCougars, then maybe it would be a fair fight. But as it stands now, the Bears would eat the Seahawks then punch their wives in the uteri. They would hit Shaun Alexander so hard his teeth would straighten. So would Michael Strahan's. That's how hard they hit....

Their defense is so awesome, 8 million naked supermodels holding whiskey and midgets wouldn't be as awesome as them. Brian Urlacher and Adewale Ogunleye are like Batman and Robin, that is, if Robin were black and had the strength of 350,000 men. Because that's what it's like when he hits you. You're like, "ow, I think I just got hit by a lot of people." That's because you did, sucka.

More hilarious lines here.

(no subject)

Over in this thread, in a discussion of the Narnia movie, particle_person (who has a really cool username!, and is QWP) pipes in:

edda: I personally did not get so worked up about the whole PedoGoat thing, mostly because I was looking at Tumnus from my adult eyes and having very naughty thoughts. Which apparently is something I do when presented with a goat-man in a scarf. How disturbing.

particle_person: Tumnus information. Let's not goat there.

(What can I say, I love puns. Admit it, you groaned, but you're amused as well. :P)

  • fes42

Giving blood is FUN!

A friend, melissaagray explains why she wants to go back to Arisia and specifically to the blood donor van.

"I guess it may only be funny if you have a mom as a nurse or were a bio major. Basically this chubby goth/s&m bimbo decided she didn't want to undo her corset before giving blood (even though they asked her 2 times) because she couldn't cram her ass into it by herself without her little submissive's help (go fig). Anyway, she gave blood fine (though oddly fast....note foreboding here), but when they took out the needle, she turned into Old Faithful. Still she refused to loosen her corset. She had to sit there with a rag compress on her arm with her arm over her head for damn near 10 minutes before she stopped Goth Guiser-ing, but never relented on taking off her corset. There are people in the van giving blood at a time....we all tried our damnedest to stiffle our snickering until she left....then we and the nurses busted a gut laughing. Then some vamp guy came in to replace her and we totally lost it. It was the first time giving blood was "fun"."
britta guns - shelightsupwell

(no subject)

brown_jackknife writes a parody of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas...

The coffee is taking hold. My focus shifts and my peripheral vision fades. Everything starts to blur. A bolt of energy shoots up my spine, and when it reaches the top, my head enters a frenzied stupor.

The Unisom from the night before still hasn’t worn off, either. I had taken ten times the recommended dose. This would put most people in the hospital, but I had a dependency on the drug for sleeping, and as a consequence, I had a strong tolerance. There is nothing in the world more drowsy and apathetic than a man in the depths of a Unisom dependency.

And for the record, Unisom and coffee aren’t friends. If the two were to attend elementary school, they would be seated at opposite ends of class. Coffee would have spat in Unisom’s hair, and Unisom would have called coffee a, “fucking cock-holster,” or something.

Read the whole post/story here.
  • Current Mood
    impressed impressed
Bear Nuts


You just know we're going to metaquotes about brokeback Mountain ad vitam aeternam but we don't ever get tired of it, do we? duia, here:

some of the commercials I've seen kind of gloss right over the entire two boys sexing aspect of the film, so it seems highly plausible that someone goes for omg yay cowboys and gets omg gay cowboys.

  • Current Mood
    bouncy bouncy
DW - Doctor Me

It Has An Icon, Too.

In a post in   221b_bakerst, (a Sherlock Holmes community, I'm assuming)  </span>uglinessman wrote this inspired piece:


Here's a Watson, there's a Watson
And another little watson
Fuzzy Watson, funny Watson
Watson Watson Holmes

Watson Watson Hudson Watson
Mycroft Moriarty Watson
Sleepy Watson, Emma Watson
Watson Watson Holmes

Where is Irene Adler? Is she on the town?
Holmes and Watson on her trail, She will soon be found
They've been searching all night long, what are they to do?
Seems they're looking everywhere, but Without a Clue

Watson Watson LeStrade Watson
Pompey brain appendix Watson
Watson calm, alarm a Watson
Watson Watson Holmes

Who is at the door now? Mysteries abound
Upstairs there on Baker Street is where they are found
But they share the spotight now, it is plain to see
Can't do much without his Boswell, elementary


There's an icon that goes with the piece:  http://www.livejournal.com/community/221b_bakerst/187198.html?thread=1738558



me sexy curlz

dead kittens in the mail

Over in customers_suck, stah_chica discusses a customer complaining of recieving a magazine she had not subscribed to.

"I realize that junk mail is annoying but I probably would've been more compassionate to her situation had she not been such a raging bitch about it. Seriously, you'd think we sent her a dead kitten or something."

Quoted With Permission from this post right here http://www.livejournal.com/community/customers_suck/14593685.html?view=186734741#t186734741