January 10th, 2006

Misc☢the shape of your mind
  • vilify


My friend, tears_of_nienna is less than pleased with some of the changes in the movie adaptation of Beowulf.

That doesn't mean you have to FUCKING INVENT GRENDEL'S FATHER AND THEN HAVE HROTHGAR'S FOLK KILL HIM OFF SO GRENDEL CAN BE SAD. Grendel's motives are explained very clearly in the poem: It harrowed him / to hear the din of the loud banquet / every day in the hall, the harp being struck / and the clear song of a skilled poet (the Heaney translation 87-90, if you're interested). He's like the Grinch, except instead of stealing presents he munches on Whos.

The joy of Cats.

thewhiteowl posts a solemn entry about the state of her cats after they've been neutered.

She breaks the bad news.

Sadly, only one of the cats is now an it. The vet couldn't find the other one's testicles; she said to wait a few months and see if it came down. When he came round from the anesthetic, he tried to mate with his brother, so they seem to be in working order, even if they are in his abdomen. :(

We're evil friends for laughing at this. Quoted with permission. :)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
no words can express the joy

first metaquote!


dey all jus' be "some wigger who just tries to be black cause I talk with an accent and grab on my balls"


Please, "wigger" is such a dirty word. Could we use something more PC like "wegro" or "Wafrican-American"? I mean, really, this is the 21st century.

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)


come on. wafrican american. you laughed.
singular love affair

(no subject)

mayhap turns 22:

I, uh ... had not imagined being this old. In fact, as far as I am concerned, the entire universe came to an end in 2000. So, you know, I look at the copyright date on a book and it's 1998 and a loud and very stubborn voice in my head informs me, "This book was published two years ago!" Only to be corrected by the voice in my head that can actually tell time, which informs me, "No, this book was in fact published eight years ago." Then both of them get depressed and start looking for a stiff drink.

Fortunately, we're all legal.

(QWP &c &c &)
  • Current Music
    "Peace In The Valley," Alabama 3
Safe sex

(no subject)

So, qyrb is one of my latest reads. But last night she surprised me with a PSA that was too cute. Friended post, but QWP.

posting photos of your "alleged" vagina may or may not lead to accidentally having hot sex with a super hot, super cool law student.

this warning has been brought to you by the oprah/tapeworm foundation and was funded by the mikey_kid grant for a better [sex] life.
  • Current Mood
    naughty naughty

(no subject)

In the comments to a f-locked post, QWP, melinkasua shows why he's not the greatest father in the world. (For context, the post is about his ex, keilahsarmy's mother, being back in town and how much he hates talking to ex's. At the end, he wonders why he attracts crazy people.

keilahsarmy: You have bad judgement.
melinkasua: I do not.
keilahsarmy: Where did mum sleep last night?
melinkasua: You're grounded. Go clean your room.

(no subject)

thesongrides  tells a tale of  witnessed customer suckness and hidden among the comments is this gem by canongreek

I was once in line when a woman started to go off on the cashier-a girl that looked younger than me. But it never got to the point where the cashier had to leave, because a toddler tapped the woman on the arm and told her in a very angry voice that she was making the nice lady cry and ought to "mind her manners". She shut right up.

Now with new, improved 110% better <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/customers_suck/14570353.html">context</a>


OMGWTF Precedents

slipperyhodge on Sen. DeWine's comments at the Alito hearings:
We haven't even touched on double-super-secret-uber precedents, which only the Justices themselves know about (see Bush v. Gore), way-mondo-really precedents, which trump almost everything else (see Marbury v. Madison), and OMGWTF precedents, which may only be issued about fan fiction or when overturning Constitutional rights established by a previous Court.
Emphasis added.
Listening and not caring

(no subject)

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-user="betrayedjudas">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<lj-user="betrayedjudas"> and I were discussing our hatred of Microsoft Word while I was discussing things about my English term paper, and since neither of us really even knew what it was complaining about, she decided to Google it.

This was her response.

<i>Doesn't it make you feel better to know that Microsoft feels some verbs are inferior? As though our society didn't have enough problems with homophobia, racism, classism, sexism, and terrorism, we can now add verbism to that list. Thank <b>you</b> Bill Gates.</i>

<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/betrayedjudas/57395.html?style=mine#cutid1">Context</a> for those who want it.

Also... QWP and all that other fun junk.
  • Current Music
    One - Metallica
chelsea girl

(no subject)

First time poster. Just thought I'd share.

This guy, humbleprophet is funny. He fed his brother wasabi as a Christmas prank. It's got pictures!

" Science In Our Everyday Lives
Stuff and the Human Response: Experiment #1

Subject: J6, age 12.

Substance: Wasabi

Method of Delivery: Ingestion, hidden in rolls of smoked salmon.

Time before substance took effect: three seconds

  • cibeles


The hottest video games of 2006, as predicted by bubonicwoodchuk.

Poland: The Video Game
You're a bunch of ruthless European dictators, and it looks like Poland is about to reform. You can't have that, can you? Divide Poland amongst yourselves! Cause world wars! Click Feuilly when he pops up and earn bonus points! "Poland: The Video Game. How fast can YOU partition?"

And of course, there's the Civil War First Person Shooter. Destined to be as hot as GoldenEye and the Final Fantasy series, methinks.
The comments are pretty good too - AK-47 cheats and reasonable loading times for rifles in the Civil War battles!
educational, helpful, computers, informative
  • cmzero

The joys of techsupport:

the_s_guy, bemoaning all the additional tasks that the corporate help desk world is forced through, puts together a list of clarifications about his job description. Most are only amusing to those who have been there, but one in particular I found especially hilarious:

Just because a piece of equipment is beige or uses electricity, this does NOT mean that it is on our list of supported hardware.

To which kalidor nodded sagely and recalled:

The infamous "they" wanted me to fix the microwave "they" broke last week. I told them that I could help them as soon as they found the login prompt.

(no subject)

bluesilverkdg went to the girldoc today, but at least she had some entertainment:
Not long after I'd began reading my article, this young girl, maybe 15,16 walks in. She's accompanied by her equally young, greasy-haired, saggy drawers wearing, K-Fed looking boyfriend, and a very frazzled mother. I notice that the girl is sporting a very impressive bump under her sweats and t-shirt, so I just assume they're there for a prenatal visit. They walk up to the window and the mother says to the receptionist.....are you ready for this? because it's good.....she says to the receptionist: "We think she may be pregnant."

I wanted to say "honey, this is the first time I've EVER seen her and I can assure you...she IS pregnant!" I could tell that the receptionist was just as dumb-founded as I at this....um..assumption. But, being the consummate professional, she kept a straight face and said "OK, how long as it been since you had a period?" The girl says "seven months."

Hmmm. Lets think on this. She's not had a period for seven months and looks like she swallowed a whole watermelon. I know, I know! She might be pregnant!

People never cease to amaze me.
How do you not realize that you're SEVEN months late? And why is it that the stupid ones keep procreating?
  • Current Mood
    confused confused
  • dinpik

Intelligent Design: It's Like Peek-A-Boo, In A Way

Over on Journalfen's i_wank community, visp posted about an evolution vs. intelligent design argument she was involved in.

Which led gogogidget to wonder:

So, God is just playing peek-a-boo with us?

I can imagine him up there in the clouds, hands over his face, going "Wheeeeere's the human race? Where oh wheeere is the huuuuman race?!" in an annoying baby-voice while Jesus and the Holy Ghost look on, shaking their heads in shame.