December 29th, 2005

[Ribisi] has something to say about that

(no subject)

Mild opinionated SPOILERS for The Producers:

mad_maudlin says:

The Producers: Excellent, thought I think Matthew Broderick's performance is a bit more suited to stage than screen. Then again, it may just be that he NEVER AGES AND IS STILL FERRIS BUELLER. I firmly believe some day either he or Vanna White is going to come at Dick Clark with a broadsword screaming "There can be only one!!!!"
  • Current Music
    "99 Problems" -- Jay-Z
polar bear paw

Snakes on a Plane taglines

The rowdy bunch in jmspencer's LJ is coming up with taglines for Samuel L. Jackson's latest blockbuster, Snakes on a Plane:

From the original post:

"Snakes On A Plane!" (this is based on the assumption that it's a title, a tagline, and a premise all in one. I like the idea of a poster that says "Snakes On A Plane: Snakes on a plane!")
"Hey, we could have gone with the other writer's idea: Muskrats in a Helicopter."

From the comments:

"aviophobic ophidiophobics welcome"
"No guns. No knives. Just fists, fangs, and 200 tons of aluminum."
"It's 'Snakes on a Line' Squared!"
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Rent - You're not alone Mark/Roger

Gay lifestyle, anyone?

So, I made a spam post in my livejournal (which is friends only, sorry) because I was bored. To get people to respond, I asked various questions, such as, "How do you feel about gay marriage?" to which my friend Tom left a series of comments, which went something like this...

When people say lifestyle and homosexuality in the same sentence, I kinda wanna kill myself.
I mean, if you know me, you'll know I'm into semantics, and lifestyle...
Lifestyle seems like a choice.
And why on Earth would anyone CHOOSE to be anything but straight?
Unless, I guess you're really into S and M and like it when the WHOLE WORLD HATES YOU AND WANTS YOU TO DIE.

I don't laugh out loud very often, but that did it. And since this was from my journal's comments, it was posted with permission.
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    amused amused
adorable kitten, cats

sandburg re-write...

QWP, from robyn_ma, commenting on her cats:

Carl Sandburg:

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Carl obviously never lived with Shizuka and Miroku. If he had, the poem would be more like:

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It knocks shit over
and runs down the hall like two fuckin' donkeys on crank
and pounces on chairs and plants and random shit on the floor
and then moves on.

That's the entire post, but it is here, should you wish to peruse comments.
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random happiness, giddiness, jay and silent bob

more fun with cats...

azurehart addresses her cat, here, QWP

Sweetheart, I know how much you love having canned food in the morning, but you need to move your gigantic melon away from the bowl if you want me to feed you. If you keep your head over the bowl, your just going to end up hungry with an ear full of tuna. Also, I am not willing to risk life and limb to clean your ear out, so that would mean a visit to your arch-enemy, "The Vet". I could really do without having him give me odd looks as he cleans fossilized fish out of your ears.

Much Love,

The worker of can openers.
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    amused amused
Our Protector

(no subject)

One question though, have the British forgotten how to fucking cut hair? Jesus christ these kids are shaggy. Its like the Beatles down here. And the clothes... did a thrift shop explode on set? Harry Potter and the Ugly Ass Shoes.

~squidflakes in his review of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. Context may be located on here on his journal.

The rest of his journal is, as always, a joy to read. ^_^


Whose cuisine reigns supreme?

In King Kong vs. Iron Chef Godzilla, osewalrus ponders an *unusually* interesting battle at Kitchen Stadium:

Usual framing shot, we see Fuki, Bimbo Du Jour, and Hatori sitting behind special plate glass.

Fuki: Well, we certainly have an exciting match for us here tonight folks. An Island Chef, an expert on Raw Cusine, who answers the age old question "Where does the 800 Ton Gorrilla cook?" Well tonight, he cooks in Kitchen Stadium. And I hear he's also known as a ladies man as well, which should please or guest tonight, an actress you've never heard of.

BDJ: Pleasure to be here. I've been working on my screams for a week. [Giggle]

Fuki: And of course, our commentator, Doctor Yukio Hatori.

Hatori: Always a pleasure.

Fuki: And now, here comes Chairman Kaga.

Kaga: [Dressed in sequine safari suit, sort of what would happen if Liberace had shopped at Bananna Republic] Tonight is a special occassion for two reasons. It is the first time we have a giant ape and raw cook as a challenger. And second [evil grin], well, you will just have to wait and see. But first, lets bring on the challenger, King Kong.

Public post, permission freely given to link.
Furry Computer Mice

(no subject)

evilrat has allways made me chuckle and think at the same time. Tonight's post is no different...
Collapse )
EDIT: To Add Another Metaquote...
And, in other news, mrobenee_kelley discusses how lost weight makes her feel...

Anyhow, I was getting ready to take a shower and was standing in my bathroom taking off the skirt and started to unbutton my shirt when I caught a glimps of myself in the mirror. What I saw was a real live girl with a figure in underwear and a half removed, tight fitting shirt and nicely held up D cups (D I still can't believe it). I stared for a minute in disbelief. Then a commercial came on in the living room with this slow dancy music on it and I started to do a strip-tease in the mirror. It was pretty hysterical until I saw the big scar on my belly...then it was even more hysterical because for the first time in....forever...I felt like I was sexy (even with the scar).

The Redneck Jar Jar Binks.

sugarcane_moon deals with an unbelievable hillbilly over at customers_suck

 ...Imagine the biggest hillbilly you've ever met and multiply it by twelve. His grammar made it sound like he hadn't made it past a third grade education. Lots of "I knows" and "she be's." It was like talking to a redneck JarJar Binks.

Finally I asked, "Sir, would you like to speak to my supervisor?" This was mostly to get him the hell off my line.

His response was priceless: "No, no, I know there be's a woman up there, and she ain't be's good for nothin' but eatin'!"


Cue bewilderment.

Full post here...

First timer. Be nice, bastards.

The funnier-than-she-realizes buenabuena figures out how to describe a new musical obession. QWP

Also, I think I have figured out the "Jonathan Coulton" musical-reference equation. Take the fizzy-pop melodies of Fountains of Wayne, the energetically geeky lyrical precision of They Might Be Giants, add a dash of King Missle's bizarre humor and a bit of Mike Doughty balladry, and blend frenetically whilst shaking your ass near the window where the neighbors can see you.
as in 'dotdotdot'

My hero

In a post where snacky resolves to be nice next year and chips in on the recent Cult of Whatever Drama, this gem from annlarimer, in response to a wtf anon comment that

"Evil is at least stylish, often witty, and makes heroes of those who struggle against it. Asshattery is just petty and tedious, and railing against it usually ends up dragging us all down to drown in a sea of stupid until you can't tell one side from the other."

   almostnever: Yeah, I hear Hitler was a real hit at parties.
      crantz: He did these great impressions.
       annlarimer: "Und FDR! Vas is up with himm? 'Oh, I'm FDR, I cannot valk, limp limp limp limp.' Am I reich, volks?"
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  • conuly

(no subject)

From catvalente here.

This might be the geekiest thing I've ever done.

I have now taught Grimm to bark, growl, and go on guard when she hears the word...wait for it...


She is mankind's last, best hope.

I'm trying to figure out a way to add a Star Wars reference to that, but the best I can come up with is "Help us yuki_onna's puppy! You're our only hope!" which, frankly, sucks.