December 27th, 2005

For The Birds

Another gem from Adam Selzer

"During tonight's trivial pursuit game*, it became useful to me, at last, to know that China was under martial law in 1989. I knew this because the imposition of martial law in Beijing was immediately followed by the rock n roll and cola wars, after which point Billy Joel declared that he could no longer take it." - adamselzer
  • Current Music
    "Escapade" - Janet Jackson
ART: big ol lesbian

(no subject)

bri_cheese comments on Morgan Freeman, here

Random thought: when casting Morgan Freeman in a movie, why do they even bother giving his character a name? He always plays the same character; the calm, wise, all-knowing and sometimes cheeky black guy. I've seen dozens of his movies, and I can never remember his characters' names. He may as well just be cast to play Morgan Freeman as the always kick-ass Morgan Freeman. Or Morgan Freeman as Detective Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman and Doctor Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman as President Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman as God, which is Morgan Freeman as Morgan Freeman.

(no subject)

This might take a bit of explaining.

On the absolute_jesus community info page the moderators, intoxipolitan and free_thought181, attempt to deal with a troll, onfire4godrules, who considers it cute to spell the "T" in "Christ" with a plus sign. Which of course leads to:

YES! Praise CHRIS PLUS and accept him as your SAVIOR!

I want to join the Church of Chris Plus now. Does it celebrate Chrismas, I wonder? Is there an Antichris waiting to take over the world? If you hit your thumb with a hammer, is it blasphemy to shout "Jesus H. Chris"? Where does he come from? Who are his people? These are the things I need to know.

Context here.

Kid quotes

Maybe the world is gonna be ok! From newsblues kids:

Eleven year old wisdom: "If life hands you lemons, throw them back, shout 'I want chocolate' and then go get chocolate."

Her 15 yo sister: "I think it's really hot when guys kiss. That's just my opinion."

(no subject)

ghormenghast finds working in retail during the holidays a bit stressful:

Example 1: (me fixing ripped packaging with packing tape, doing a merely adequate and somewhat messy job of it.)
Me: "Necessity is the mother of invention"
D: "So what does that make you?"
Me: "From the look of this, it makes me the abusive stepfather of invention"

Merry Christmas from cestovatela

We caught a whiff of potential disaster again during the gift exchange. Everyone had been instructed to purchase a tacky gift from the 100 yen ($1) store, which A. and I had faithfully done. The Japanese contingent, however, arrived with tastefully wrapped gift sets from Starbucks and Tokyu Hands (think Target, except more expensive). With fear in our eyes, A. and I watched the recipient of a 100 yen package that contained strange slutty Barbie thing. Her eyes lit up and a tiny gasp escaped her lips. "Baaaaaaaaaaaarbie!" she shrieked. "Sugoi!" (terrific!), shouted the rest of the room. A. got my 100 yen package of Christmas lights for her 100 yen plastic Christmas tree and I came away with a solar-powered Donald Duck whose head sways hypnotically back and forth. All was well.

The whole post is hilarious, though -- go read it here
  • Current Music
    Mrs Brown You Have a Lovely Daughter - Herman's Hermits
[c] hark! a vagrant! - eat a dick
  • renne

(no subject)

ms_maree, here, musing on australia in relation to england:

We´re a little colony on the other side of the world, only significant in the fact that we´re rather good at cricket and we have wildlife and sociopaths that randomly kill British backpackers.

admit it, it always amuses us when some foreigner disregards the crocodile signs and gets eaten

...she's right. it does.
cure-all, Chintsubu

(no subject)

acetal, here:

Saw The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe tonight. Brought turkish delight and shared it with the people sitting next to me. Strangely, they didn't seem to want any more after the White Witch made Edmund her bitch. Oh well.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused