December 23rd, 2005

goddess

Okay. How many geek points should this win?

laughingimp details the trials and tribulations of being a recieving agent on this post" in customers_suck.

I received the wrong goods, double-counted them, and told the CSR, who contacted the customer. The customer--who, remember, has never laid eyes on the box in contention, because it was shipped right from the distributor to us--insists that no, I must have miscounted. "Have him count it again, and then call me back." This week, that happened twice, and then the customer finally abandoned all hope and asked the CSR to count it instead.

In my head, Captain Picard is wailing, "There are four lights!"


The whole thing is pretty damn hilarious. Go read. :)
Good friends

do you have a friend that would do all this?

orbasm tells us why he is the coolest friend ever



"i am the coolest friend. ever.



oh yes. i am. and i'll give you reasons.

do YOU have a friend that takes you to 80's night, tells you at the beginning of the night, "hey dude, fuck work! let's have a good time! wootsauce!" maybe you do. if so, good for you.

do YOU have a friend that takes you to the bar, buys you a drink and says, "no, i will NOT take the aforementioned $20 bet that you can take the girl standing next to you home for sex." this, too, might be plausible.

do YOU have a friend that finds you at the end of the night, ass stuck on the same barstool, but now enraptured with the monkey-girl that you're determined to commit some sort of fornicatious act? does this friend of yours approve of the impending train wreck and even encourage the carnage? sure, you say. that's fine.
Collapse )
Holiday - House - Pumpkin

(no subject)

cenori makes what may well be one of the best statements ever:

THERE WAS A SPIDER IN MY BED GAH AND I SMUSHED IT WITH MY BLANKET BECAUSE I WAS TOO SCARED I WOULD LOSE IT IF I STOPPED TO GET A TISSUE AND I RIPPED MY BLANKET OFF MY BED AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S DEAD, THE SPIDER NOT THE BLANKET, AND WHAT THE FUCK I HATE SPIDERS.

Entry is here, although that's the whole thing.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
default

(no subject)

This is where my politics fall, really - a left wing hippy idealist fist wrapped in a glove of purest right wing dictatorship. I'm vastly in support of gay rights, womens' rights, minority's rights, and so on, but I actually want them ENFORCED BY FUCKING JUDGE DREDD. - nicklocking here, on the conundrum of being Nick Locking.

sleeping with a dildo?

Over on sextips, in response to a question about having sex while still asleep, someone commented:

"Yes, we have a long term house guest that has sexsomina or sex while sleeping. She will get up in the middle of the night looking for a partner. It is sometimes very hard to get her to stop. Normally when it happens she wants to give a BJ. It is sometimes very hard to get her to stop. She now goes to bed with a dildo in hand, so she does not have to get up and stumble around."

http://www.livejournal.com/community/sextips/7131585.html?view=108899009#t108899009

Who among us doesn't go to bed with a dildo for just that reason?
Self-rimming--Cgwriting

I wonder what you leave out for the twelve Apostles pulling the sleigh???

From compass_rose here

I overheard the following conversation snippet in the museum lobby this morning. The child was a five or six year old boy with his mother. Here goes:

Child: Mommy, if we leave out milk and cookies then Santa comes to the house, right?

Mother: Yes dear, remember how the cookies and milk were gone last Christmas. I think Santa liked them.

Child(nodding): I think so too.

Child: Mommy, if we leave out bread and wine, do you think Jesus will come to the house?

Mother (covering smile): Ummmm.... well.... ummmm.... hmmmm... I just don't know.

Child: Lets try it. I think Jesus would like that.

Mother: Sure thing honey.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

milkshake_b laments the use of "virgin ass" in slash fiction. The whole post is worth reading, even if only for a laugh and a "word", but this part made me snorf:

Something being virgin doesn't make it more special, unless we're discussing winter scenery, and if you're comparing someone's ass to a snow-blanketed forest, you have other issues at work.

Context. And QWP, finally. I waited so patiently.

[end transmission]
  • Current Music
    dog whisperer on tv
d'oh!

(no subject)

turabiannights on Bad 'Ethnic' Baby Names here (locked, QWP):

[Poster on another board]Here's a list of some other music-related names I like: Cadenza, Madrigal, Sonata, Cantata, Tessitura, Symphony, Harmony, Aria.
I'm sorry. Madrigal? Symphony? I mean, Harmony and Melody if you really have to, but Aria? Cantata?? Just because a word is pretty in Italian doesn't mean it's a good name! Oooh, I know, what about Coscia, Anatra and Palestra? They mean thigh, duck, and gymnasium, but who cares, they are so beautiful!!!

The joys of Christmas shopping...

From kitakatzz's LJ entry here...


Guess what?
Guess!

GUESS!!!

What, you give up???




MY AUNT GOT AN X-BOX 360!!!!!!!!!


YEAH I KNOW!!!

She was just standing in the electronics section of Wal-Mart with her friend to pick up some Zelda game for her friend's kids, when she said off-handedly, "Yeah, Eric wants that 360 thing."
And Wal-Mart employee that she hadn't noticed before turns to her with a box in his hand and says, "Oh, I have one of those right here."
And she's like ---> "O.O"
And he's all, "I don't understand emocons...?"
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Book of Mormon - spooky Mormon hell drea

I love musicals, but I knew Lestat was a bad, baaaaaad idea.

comfortandjoy and I both unfortunately saw it this past week (on different days). A f-locked discussion ensues on her LJ, stemming from the fact that Hugh Panaro’s two turns as title characters in pre-Broadway productions are sadly similar. Says she:

Let’s compare, shall we?

Martin Guerre:
- Is from small town in France
- Wears long straight wig, brown, pulled back on sides
- Has friend who later betrays him
- Never gets laid
- Is surrounded by fire
- Sucks

Lestat:
- Is from small town in France
- Wears long straight wig, blond, pulled back on sides
- Has friend who later betrays him
- Never gets laid
- Is surrounded by fire
- Sucks blood


To understand most of this, you have to be pretty knowledgeable about musical theatre. Those of you on here who are, well, I figured you might come out of the woodwork. ;-)

Click here for photos and here for the official site. The always-metaquotable shawk has talked about it in length, too. ;-)
me2

Adventures in nursing...

In her second metaquote, nurse bayley_jade, prepares to do a catheter change on an elderly patient...

I get myself set up, have the catheter the irrigation stuff, pull back the covers aaaaaaaand.

no pants

no brief

naked from the waist down.

I have no idea why he was naked, but thats okay, less work for me. So I put my stuff down and am like "Soooo your not wearing any pants I see" which was a stupid move becuase then he throws up his legs, my stuff goes flying everywhere to throw back the blankets to prove he was indeed wearing pants (He still wasn't at this point)

Dementia...what can I say.


(Context)