breakfastserial wins the Internets.
"Nothing's worse than misinterpretation of psychopathy. Then again, fanidiots are not known for being able to distinguish the rather obvious line between 'sexy' and 'a crushed jalapeno enema'."
Also gaped at the My Bling Bling Barbies. Even their panties have bling--at least, the ones who actually wear panties, which may or may not be all of them. Plastic-faced liposucked hoochies. Got so much glitter lip gloss it looks like a fungal infection, some kinda sparkly face herpes an' shit. Oy. (Didn't help that they were next to the Lindsay Lohan dolls, whose unfortunate freckle pattern makes her look like Alfred E. Neumann's somewhat hotter sister. Tragic.)
The rest of the post is here
A short one while I am at work, with nothing to do. Scratch that, excitment is afoot:
(1) No I'm not dead, merely been absent from ye ol' land of LJ. A triumphant return soon. By "triumphant return" I mean I'm going to continue to play DDR and Knights of the Old Republic II.
(2) I will be attempting to complete my World Beer Tour by Friday. This means that every day after work this week I have to have four beers. I think the fact that I would make this a personal goal of mine speaks enough by itself.
(3) I will be joined in this endeavour by a $50 gift card (thanks, mom) and my notebook. Expect Dwight Nash stuff. Or not.
(4) Today I received a present. It was a clock and it was given to me by the creepy guy from Pekin who likes to touch me.
Welcome to my life, folks
I just walked into the kitchen to feed my vegemite cravings, and sitting on the bench were a crate of strawberries and $100 worth of ham.
Is it wrong that my first thought was, "Well that pig isn't getting anywhere near my ass!"?
Next time you say Happy Holidays to someone, and they get mad at you - simply say something completely nonsensical, like "Bite the Wax Tadpole" or "Me ole mama dog face in the banana patch."
It is my responsibility to make sure the world remains weird, and safe for those of us who (by choice or by luck or by fate) live outside the norm. I will not rest until the entire world bends to my beliefs and.... ooooh, PANCAKES!
From here, though the quote is the whole post.
mintytrina overhears a bit of Blonde reality (that just happened at her office). QWP.
A certain blonde that I work with just walked into C's office next door and said the following...
Blonde: Hey you're a cook, you can help me...
Blonde: If I want some sweet tea, can I put Sweet n' Low in unsweetened tea and will it make it sweet?
C: *is kind of silent for a second* Uhhh, well I prefer Splenda, but yes....
Oh no! It's the Rapture! Who would've thought this company was so full of God's anointed?
...oh wait, I see a sinner at the coffee pot. Okay then. Drink it! Drink your bitter brew, vile dog, and dream of the sweet Heavenly ambrosia that could've anointed your lips.
That would be the whole thing.
dimethirwen shares views on the "War on Christianity".
Origonal post here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/dimethirwen/302503.html?view=1432743#t1432743
I live in a country where I am completely free to choose my faith. I can go to church, not go to church, pick my denomination, freely express my religious convictions and beliefs, become a religious leader, officially declare myself a Christian, and not worry about officials of the state bursting through my door and putting a bullet through my head while I pray on my knees.
Christians are not persecuted in the United States. Period.
To say that there is a war against Christianity in the United States is not only wrong, it's insulting. It's insulting to people who fight every day to stay alive and maintain their faith, and it's an insult to those who have died for their beliefs. "Oh no, some people have said they don't like Christianity in a public forum?" How about "Oh no, Christian believers were tortured and executed in China last week?"
Honestly, people. The next time you're at church, sit and listen. Hear that? That silence? It's the sound of people not coming to decapitate you because of what you believe.
I don't want to see science used to discredit religion, because that will make people live LESS happily, and I don't want to see religion used to discredit science, because that will further delay the delivery of my flying car. If this simple dichotomy can be honestly and openly explained to our children, they can embrace the apparent paradox, and get on with the important things in life: being happy, and figuring out how to build me a jetpack. It's 2005, for heaven's sake. I was supposed to have a silica farm on the moon twenty years ago, and I can't even get my replicator-bots onto the roof of the house.
What IS Obidala? It is the romantic pairing of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padme Amidala. It is bad. It is so offensive, it makes totaltarian ninjas riding ill-tempered sharks break down and weep."
- niicoly, who goes on to explain the horrors and provide photographic proof that some OTPs should just NOT exist.
My mom works at the church, right? So, tomorrow, the pastor and his wife are coming over for dinner. I have a feeling a scene maker is me...
Me: Hahaha, I left your church and took half the congregation with me.
Pastor: Your mom works for me, now.
Me: I won't join you on the dark side!
Pastor: All your soul are belong to God! You have no chance to be heathen, make your Tao.
Me: *throws spagehtti*
There is no chance of that ending well, is there?
Down went the little grey squirrel; in an uncontrollable spin. Such that as he approached lower branches, he crashed through them, rather than grabbing on and stopping his fall. So, all the way to the leaf covered earth he fell, and thudded into brush below. I think I now know the squirrel word for either "fuck!" or "shit!"
The Cliffy Dropper-downer! HE OF THE DEMONIC YARN! And even worse, he has kidnapped Winston and is forcing him TO WATCH VERY BAD TELEVISION INDEED!
Another great photo adventure brought to you by teenagers on vacation with digital cameras.
Canada: Pls stop ripping us off, since you made up the rules and everyone's telling you to stop. Pls.
US: OMFG YOU'RE LIKE OBSESSED WITH US HAHAHAHAHA.
France: I know, right?
And there are pictures!