Metaquotes

From this thread in the fabulous world of customers_suck namegirl brings new joy to the holiday season.

"But yes, buying her this perfume will cause her to be gay. It's like...a gay spritzer. Wouldn't that be fun to have at a mall in Texas at Christmas?

*spppppfftt* surprise! you're gay!
*sppppraaayyy* welcome to the world of tongues and dildos!

/grin

I know what I want for Christmas!

How do you get pomegranate stains out of a cat?

Best stain removal question ever posted here by morriganslayde, who promises pictures.

kytastic in customers_suck (Kyew Dubya Pee, no less!)

Way to help the earth, I hope Captian Planet haunts you in your sleep.

Context is for people who pollute the Earth. ;)

From cmzero's reply to bloodfyr's post here:

Wow. I'll have to tell my pastor about this new and effective preaching technique.

"Let us open to Genesis. 'And God said, "Let there be light!" And there was light. And God saw that it was ^___^'"

clayin  is taking the day off and comes across a new intrest...

...Oh, and then I watched TV while I was sorting the laundry. Bad TV. Bad, bad Sci-Fi show called Beastmaster.

Why is the Beastmaster running about in only a loincloth when everyone else is dressed like actual people? Or is it a part of his powers, you know, "I can't talk to the animals unless I'm mostly naked"?

 

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Over on the LJDQ, insanity comes in picture form. Highlights of chaosvizier's running rampant through the reminder post:

Evil. It's spreadable, like butter!

An overanalysis of blinking leads to a fear of structures and objects:

I prefer the uncivil engineers. They get all drunk and rowdy, build a big huge bridge in the middle of nowhere, set up tollbooths on either end, and curse and spit at the cars that pass by. Those guys are a hoot.

hemlock_martini sums up the distinction banning cruel and unusual means of torture thusly:

So we can punch people in the face, we just can't dance around with a traffic cone on our head going "NYER NYER NYER NYER WOOP WOOP BOING BOING WAHOO FART BOING!" while we do it.

Here.

tianamalla in a post about a conversation she'd had:

People think they're SO openminded, but when it comes down to it, they're not. Okay, so maybe they can't QUITE see through a keyhole with both eyes like some people I know, but that doesn't make them saints.

Ah, metaphors for narrowmindedness, how we love thee.

After seeing this little gem, akhmed lets his mind wander, as usual:

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briarsequinox got a myspace.</span>

"But at least I chose a sloan song as a username. (in my defense, I sometimes pause to consider the ramifications of networking on adolescent social development and how the construct of childhood is evermorphing. so buttz you! it's all for science! and stalking. which is mostly science anyway!)"

From an f-lock entry, qwp

zombie-phobic prepared for the oncoming zombieapocalypse fallenzer0, in a locked post, describes her near-fatal journey ( Collapse )

QWP.

pastaqueen in this comment on the yummyness of Paul Bettany:

"He plays a self-flagellating albino in "The DaVinci Code," so I think the sexiness factor might be lower compared to his other roles. But if anyone could make self-flagellating albinos sexy, it's him!"

I can't help but agree.

QWP.

annakovsky was not enjoying her time stuck in Logan International Airport:

God, the girls sitting behind me are having a conversation about pregnancy and surgery and female issues and I SWEAR I want to tell them to put it behind a TMI cut tag already, THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.

That is the LAST time I guzzle a pint of chocolate soymilk right before bed.

It was like, chocolate soymilk in, chocolate assmilk out, knowwhatimsayin?

Damn.

You can thank the fantabulous eamontoplease for this little piece of quotable heaven.

Poppin' my metaquoint cherry

Context here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/bad_rpers_suck/2127749.html

QWP
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Found on a wank about a kerfluffle over Kingdom of Heaven slash/rapefic here, Darthmaligna ( Collapse )

Here's what joshualore posted here. QWP, though not friendlocked.


-listening to a song from hypofixx-
Gramma: Who's that? I never heard you play that song before.
Me: That's my friend hypofixx.
Gramma: Who?
Me: You know.. the guy that called you and asked you to bring me a pen?
Gramma: Oh that really sweet man! I always thought he sounded hot.
Me: -blink-
Gramma: Really sweet friend of yours.
Me: ... You can leave my room now.
Gramma: Why do I have t-
Me: Now.
Gramma: Well wait one seco-
Me: Out.
Gramma: B-
Me: Now.
Gramma: Fine.
-door shuts-
Me: Creepy bitch..
Gramma (Through Door): Shut up you little faggot!
Me: !

cleolinda has some minor complaints about Peter Jackson’s King Kong.

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Truth is humor; humor, truth. Also, "stampedalanches" = current fave neologism.