December 1st, 2005


(no subject)

Off of the post a few below grew this incredibly, hysterically amusing comment thread.

looking_spiffy: MY EYES, THEY BLEED.
looking_spiffy: YOU RIDE OFF ON, MY STEED.

The rest is here: Watch for the ones in all caps, with the lines ending in "EED/EAD".
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    amused amused
Speak to me

(no subject)

The eternally lovely and politically incorrect evilegg rages against the machine. . . or in this case, against pharmacists refusing to distribute the morning after pill:

"Who says a pharmacy isn’t a kid-friendly place? Some of these pharmacists like children so much, they want you to have the ones you didn’t even mean to have! And when you think about it, pharmacies are awesome places for young children to run and play, especially behind that door marked PRIVATE (Go on in! These folks don’t care about privacy!) which leads to a wonderful land of bottles and jars to shake shake shake. Plus plenty of childproof caps to challenge them, hundreds of colorful little beadies to count, lots of new words to learn (Say it: “Meth-o-trex-ate.”) and no shortage of arthritic elderly friends to trip up. Really, it’s like a Montessori school with Muzak."

(no subject)

Hopefully other people will find this as amusing as I did...

From this post by shanmonster in wtf_inc:

I just baked two pumpkin pies. They took 20 minutes longer to bake than usual. When they came out of the oven, they appeared to be breathing. They were heaving up and down slowly. Worried that they might explode, I poked a couple of holes in them to let steam out. They kept breathing.

But then, a few moments later, they started ... farting.

Rather loudly.

I'm almost afraid to eat them. I think they might be sentient.
agent may is unimpressed

During the holidays, the LJDQ jingles YOU!

Once again it's Thursday, and once again, Co-mod chaosvizier urges all and sundry to take part in the ljdq. In addition to threatening to eat a cute animal, he also urges us on forwards with this new, classic holiday poem:

An Hollydaye Treatyze

A is for Advent, a calendar of sweet
B is for Blitzen, a venison treat
C is for Christmas, the birthday of Jesus
D is for Drinking, which goes great with cheeses
E is for Eggnog, which makes me roly-poly
F is for Fa La La, and other carols holy
G is for Goose, upon which the chefs toil
H is for Hannukah, and eight days of oil
I is for Irritable, Irrational, Irate
J is for Jingle Bells, on my nerves they grate
K is for Kwanzaa, because it's PC
L is for Lines At Stores, that cause misery
M is for Mistletoe- give me a smoochie
N is for Nutmeg, which tastes sweet on hoochie
O is for Orange, an unseasonal colour
P is for Presents, that's what we're all here for
Q is for Quality, sacrificed for money
R is for Rudolph, with nose red and runny
S is for Santa, an anagram of Satan
T is for Times Square, and New Year's Celebratin'
U is for Unlucky, if your birthday's on Christmas
V is for Valentine's, not quite yet upon us
W is for Winter, with cold, snow, and ice
X is for XMas Tree, all decorated and nice
Y is for Yulelog, which burns hot and pleasin'
Z is for Zoloft, the cure for the season!


Play the LJDQ today!

Edit: Fixed nasty code in the beginning, precious.

steely_glint on Chuggers.

That's Charity Muggers to you folks. Those people in flourescent vests that travel in packs, lurking in touristy areas of the city, and pouncing unsuspecting pedestrians insisting they sign over their bank details to them, on pain of guilt?

Here's how to deal.

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    Shoot to Thrill - AC/DC
Treize glasses lol
  • neev

(no subject)

hammerhand85 participates in a meme. Hilarity ensues.

5. SOCIALITE ALIAS (Silliest childhood nickname/Town where you first partied):
TJ Salisbury (I wouldn't call that a soialite name, more like a lazy bum name. On second thought, it sounds like a DJ name, or the handle of that creepy half retarded guy who everybody in town knows only because they see him carrying his giant bag of cats to Burger King every Wednesday, like Buckwheat of Annapolis.)

And, a bonus because it also made me LOL:

8. DETECTIVE ALIAS (Favorite baby animal/Where you went to high school):
Idontlikebabyanimals Queenannescountyhighschool (I'm an Icelandic detective... what?)

Further hilarious names can be found here.
  • Current Music
    Everclear - Wonderful
GA Cristina

(no subject)

From a locked post (quoted with permission) of xseventy7:

I think I'm scaring Eric a bit with my exercising. I might have asked if you can kill yourself while exercising, and then complaining it's just too hard to know when it's just normal pain and when you need to stop. And finishing it off with "And then when I went running, I couldn't breathe properly, so it just sounded like "eeeeee iiiii eeee iiiii eeee iii".
Furry Computer Mice

(no subject)

All those cracking AIDS jokes today need to check yourselves and show a little compassion.

I had a coworker, in the past, that I was very close to who had AIDS. Being my first exposure to someone that was positive I was extremely pensive at the start. But, in time, we became close friends and the fact he was positive was not even a secondary thought. I feel very fortunate to have experienced that.

From here by perro for World AIDS Awareness Day (Since so many seem to be making AIDS jokes for some sick reason.).

EDIT: And LJ Drama looks over here in three... Two...
The New Evil.

(no subject)

I know we can metaquote RSS feeds, so here goes.

Canadian pundit and writer Paul Wells:

Once again, politicians ignore the real issues

Day three of the campaign, and not a single national leader has revealed his plan for dealing with the plague of desperate starving Russian dog-killing squirrels.

(this is what he's talking about: (his feed)
  • dracs

My first meta.

begthequestionresponds to a silly Q&A meme in my journal:

9) Is begthequestion athletic?
I don't really think he is. Unless excessive drinking counts as a workout.

Fucking right it is. It exercises the liver. For serious. My liver? It knows goddamn jiu jitsu, it'll fuck you up. Kill you six times before you hit the ground. Then whatcha gonna do?
Also, lifting that glass? Biceps of steel, my friend. We Canadians build all our muscle through drinking and being lumberjacks.
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