November 30th, 2005

(no subject)

Backstory:

</a></b></a>sabotabby posts a poll about the upcoming Canadian elections. And the unthinkable happens: the free-spirited debate and discussion fostered by the internets quickly degenerates into a free-for-all between Canadian patriots, American patriots, tea lovers, and non-American patriots.

Example:

</a></b></a>groovitude:  OMG, I call for a new poll. This one has too many choices.
</a></b></a>sabotabby:  Pfft. That's what you get for not living under a two-party system.
</a></b></a>groovitude:  Dude, give us credit for our two party system, which is a direct result of declaring our independence from Britain about one million years before Canada.
</a></b></a>sabotabby:  We have better tea as a result of our tardiness.
</a></b></a>groovitude:  Well, on the other hand, America has given the world the choice to drink iced tea made from the melted ice of the polar caps. Mmmmm...environmentalicious.
</a></b></a>sabotabby:  Yeah, but Canada's going to start offering clubbed-baby-seal hamburgers.
</a></b></a>groovitude:  Oh, yeah? America gives the wretched refuse of your teeming shore the freedom to be deported nicely or kicked on the can until it hits the fan.

The discussion was continued by </a></b></a>frippy, who brought her own terminology to the debate.

</a></b></a>frippy:  But we don't have to have that ugly-ass queen lizardbreath on our moneys and highways and washroom signs...
</a></b></a>sabotabby:  Yes, but we can sing all the "sod off, you inbred tyrant" type punk anthems from the UK and really mean it.
</a></b></a>frippy:  Yeah, those colonial American anthems like "Fuck King George the Third with a Hardened Biscuit*" don't have the same punch 230 years later.

*An act later renamed "Yankee Doodle"
  • Current Mood
    amused still laughing
Awesome me

(no subject)

Random Thought
I'd make a sucky-ass zombie.
While all the other zombies are staggering around after the living, mumbling about brains, I'd shuffle into the nearest bookstore or library going "boooooooooooooooks...boooOOOOoooooks..."
The authorities would find me in there later, happily tucked away in one of the corners with books and a blanket. The bookstore owner/librarian would have to dress me up in an orangutan suit so that bits of me wouldn't drop off onto the small children I was helping to find books.
Of course no one would dare damage any of the books. Because I'd eat them. And no one would do anything, because I'd be a zombie.

Yeah. Random thoughts.

 

clayin always brings the witty!

QWP, of course.

icon_somanytimes

Not a Rush fan?

From a comment by madbard (QWP) on this post (friends locked) regarding the band Rush:

I have nothing against twenty minute medleys with fifteen minute drum solos disguising themselves as songs; I do have almost every Genesis album after all. But Geddy Lee makes the lead singer of Ratt sound like Freddy Mercury.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
alien christ

cheer up, emo kid :/

Yesterday at work it fell upon me to describe what an Emo Kid is to a coworker. She claimed she'd never seen one, and I replied that was impossible because she lives in Vancouver, where the only thing more plentiful than hipsters of various sorts are rich trendy Asian girls with bad shoes and Starbucks coffee houses. I think my reply was, "they're those mopey, whiney kids with the black shaggy hair and thick-framed glasses who wear clothes that are too small for them. They're like, the only subculture that would lose against Goth in a fight."

--mama_fortuna, from this public post
pirate

QWP QWP *does the dance to make the mods happy* QWP!

From bobquasit, in a friendslocked post about the faithful who don't understand athiests:


I've never been to Tucson, Arizona, but I'm sure that it exists. But that's because there is a huge amount of evidence that it exists, in the form of photographs, maps, references in books, people I know personally who have been there...this is all evidence which I judge to be credible.

In my own judgement, there is no more "evidence" for the existance of the supernatural - including any version of God - than there is for, say, a magical elf who lives inside the Moon and grants wishes. In other words, none. It's silly, and not credible in any way.

Perhaps I'm wrong, and someday that magical elf will toss me into the burning clothesdryer that he maintains beneath Mare Imbrium for the eternal punishment of unbelievers like myself...but I really, really don't think so, and I'm not worrying about it for a second.
editing like an editor
  • penmage

Everything?

corenrind, on everything bagels:

Do you like everything bagels? I like raisin bagels. How does anyone like everything bagels? Everything bagels are way up there, along with the stock market and "Fear Factor," on the list of things I am pretty certain I will absolutely never ever really understand. Even the name is alarming and throws you off. Everything bagel? Is there a steering wheel in there, then? A bishop hat? Relativity? My own imprecise body? Everything? It's so existential I can't stand it. It gives me an existential bagel crisis. And I have one sitting on my desk, going stale.
me

(no subject)

karinablack in a locked post (but definitely a post that is being quoted with permission!), is having a good workday:

Me: Thank you for calling [company name], this is Karina how may I help you?

Customer: Yeah uh I want to place an order.

Me: Great. What's your name? (the first thing I have to enter in the system.)

Customer: ...

Me: ...

Customer: ...

Me: ...

Customer: ...

Me: Do... you... know your name sir?

Customer: Uh... Kevin... Smith. Kevin Smith.

Me: That took you WAY too long sir. I don't know that I'll be able to ship any potentially hazardous chemicals to you today. Would you like to continue or call back tomorrow?

My boss: (hissing) Is that a CUSTOMER??

I wink and nod. The customer's giggling in my ear.

Customer: Sorry! I was just on the computer while I was trying to order and ahh...

Me: Surfing porn again sir?

Customer: o_O?

Me: Just seeing if I still had your attention. May I have your phone number please?
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
I am a girl of the future

(no subject)

In comments on my own journal, josephwaldman describes what happens after Thanksgiving dinner:

"Of course, by 2:30 AM, as I headed out, I got hungry again, and not having anything back at my house in the way of leftovers (I mean, I coulda molded a turkey out of peanut butter and saltines, but I believe the Pilgrims tried that their first year and it didn't work out), I wound up at a White Castle, the only place open that late on Thanksgiving . . . um . . . whatever the reverse of "eve" is (the day after). Which I believe is what the Pilgrims ate at their second Thanksgiving. As soon as those poor dumb Anglo honkies set foot on north American soil, I don't care how silly or seventeenth-century they looked, hamburger joints and bowling alleys were not far behind."
I AM IN ALASKA!

(no subject)

The ever-quotable kadrin rants on a new anti-teenager device (which operates by producing a high-frequency noise most people below 20 can't stand) here:



Let us picture the scene. You are a youth, and thus as we all know you have no morals, no decency, and an endless desire to defraud honest hard-working small business owners. You have decided that you are going to go into a store and steal as much as you can, operating in a large group. You know that this is extremely illegal and that the store owner would be well within his rights to call the police, at which point bad things would happen to you. You have screwed your courage to the sticking point and swarmed in, probably making a lot of noise as you do so.

Can you picture your immediate reaction to a panic button being: "Oh no! An annoying noise! I AM UNDONE! Curse you, honest hard-working small business owner! Curse you!"

Libertarianism!

colinmarshall expresses his personal libertarian belief (one comment down):

For every undeserved dollar handed out by some profligate, bleeding-heart welfare state, an apple-cheeked child -- so young, so bright, so filled with potential -- bursts immediately into flame.

And it just gets funnier!
  • Current Music
    I'm Just a Singer (In a Rock and Roll Band) - The Moody Blues (The Best of the Moody Blues)
Evangeline, silly, perverted, Chomp
  • jchance

When typos attack!

Found in a comment by sailormac on a list of porn-title parodies of video game titles...

"Back when I was in college, I wrote a paper about the place of video games in contemporary pop culture and typoed "Donkey Kong" as "Donkey Dong." Well, since I finished the thing about five minutes before it was due, I didn't proofread it very carefully, and . . . the teacher ended up reading the "Donkey Dong" line to the entire class. ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Needless to say, I just wanted to sink into the floor.

I stopped finishing papers minutes before they were due after that."