November 16th, 2005


(no subject)

byakuganchick Has a customer who says her copy of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince had Remus Lupin dying in it:

I went and got the book and PROVED that Remus was still alive at the end.

"Well, I distinctly remember him dying in my copy."

Oh sure, they publish different versions of books. In my copy of HBP, Sirius came back to life and Voldemort threw Harry a "Sorry I killed your mom and dad" apology party. (He still tried to kill Harry at the end over a piece of chocolate cake, but it's the thought that counts.)

context here

The comments are awesome too :)

From communitydot_gimp_snark...

jtron wrote

That's awesome. Maybe if I disguise my fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis as, say, heroin addiction, I'll get on better in society?

"So tragic," they'll say. "But at least he doesn't have arthritis."

In Reguards* to...
Kathleen Turner apparently faked being an alcoholic so that no one would realize her actual problem was rheumatoid arthritis.
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agent may is unimpressed

A Madonna CD review

I got the new Madonna CD today and I've listened to the first two songs.

I've not heard anything this gay since I used to go to the gay bars. All it needs is a shirtless nelly gay guy in the background waving his hands and going, "WOOT WOOT!"

Think a Little
  • jaebird

dogearedintent a bit upset

Stupid Mercury
Small preview
Stupid Mercury. I swear to a bunch of yaks, get your act together, Mercury.

Do not tell me "Access Denied!" when I try to log onto Yahoo! to check my mail. Are you in cahoots with upper management, Mercury?

Seems he is a bit mad at yahoo and etc.... Once again A letter not sent

Can't you just see it?

This comes from my friend,tetrielle's journal as she's talking about repairing her younger brother's boots for a snowboarding trip using safety pins and thread:

Hopefully they'll manage to hold for the rest of the season. I tried to put the pins in so they wouldn't stab him in the foot if they burst open under the pressure but there's still a possibility it could happen. I can just see the headlines now: Olympia Boy dies in snowboarding accident due to faulty boot repair job. Sister denies all responsibility.
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polar bear paw

Hookers, blow, & economies of scale.

I posted a serious entry about debt reduction, & my, errr, unique band of LJ-friends made the comments all about hookers & blow. From one of the threads:

thepikey: You know... if we formed some sort of little co-op, we might be able to negotiate bulk prices for hookers and/or blow... Sort of the Sam's Club model... buy in bulk and get a better deal. The providers get higher market share along with more reliable and consistant demand, the customers get cheaper product. It's a win-win scenario. (But then that raises issues like the Big Box brothels putting the Mom-and-Pop streetwalkers out of business. God! Economics is *so* complicated.)

From the saga of the popcorn wench...

In customers_suck in the above-titled thread, sclerotic_rings made the following comment about eternalslacker's icon, which depicts an animated Ann Coulter flinging her arms about and the caption "she hasn't been the same since some liberal in Kansas dropped a house on her sister":

Completely unrelated, I disagree slightly with your icon. Everyone knows that Ann Coulter's worst nightmare involves Sigourney Weaver, a forklift, and an open airlock.
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Baz dare

(no subject)

cleolinda has just read (sorta) Melville’s Pierre for a class:
I hope to God that this is not on the exam in any substantial way, because I finally got to the end by way of a hard skim, and I really do not want to spend any more time on this book... Maybe it's the kind of book that grows on you, I don't know. All I know is, we were warned that it was "really weird" and "deals with incest," and I was like, "Well, you just described half the internet right there, bring it on..."

Then she discusses the incest, and yeah, it’s weird even by fanfic standards.
what is this sheep doing on my dinner ta, Chili das Schaf!

(no subject)

From this entry by poor_choices.

Reasons my math notes fail:

1. Most of my parabolas turn into drawings of fishing poles with scary fish on them.
2. In the middle of a table of values: "agfdglt2w!&rqym" I wrote this. I don't know why. It does not relate to the chain rule. I actually wrote out a keyboard seizure. Thank you, October sixth.
3. There is a diagram labeled "teh unit circlez!1!!111!" It is accompanied by the worst circle ever. I cannot draw circles.
4. The entirety of my notes for October 26 is an unpunctuated stream-of-consciousness paragraph that does not refer to math once.
5. Actual equation from notes: 1/2 * [drawing of retarded bunny] = sin 60 n/x
6. "What function is f(x) the derivative of? Fushigi mystery!!!"
7. "let F'(x)=f(x) then Dx f(g(x)) by the power of grayskull chain rule is f'(g(x))*g'(x)"

Right. Those were all really helpful for my test.
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Some facts about Chuck Norris that we all should have known already

shorxrore wrote:

13. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.


17. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.


19. Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

20. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.


23. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

24. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.


27. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

28. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

29. Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

go here to read all 31 "facts" about Chuck Norris
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(no subject)


I'm not sure exactly what reguarding is supposed to be. "Um... well... you see, we were off playin' cards when them thieving types broke in. But we're reguarding the place now, good and proper, just to make sure they're not rerobbing it, should you be getting my meaning. I'm thinking, maybe if we reguard it good enough, they'll feel like they should put all the stuff back."

active_apathy correcting a misspelling in this post
Bear Nuts

aye-aye meta-meta

In this threadscholarinexile is complimented for his aye-aye icon.

I however, am freaked by it. Here's how he reassures me:

Alas, fear not. Aye-ayes are nocturnal insectivores, so if you should wake in the night and find one crouching on your chest, staring intently at you with its big, unearthly eyes, you can go back to sleep comfortable in the knowledge that, unless you have bugs living in your nostrils or ears or any other orifice it can probe with its long, spindly fingers, it's no danger to you. :)
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You have just been meta qouted

iwannabiteyou says, in bad_sex

The other night I was getting mangnificent fellatio from my fiance who was dressed in her mom's precious 60's hippy blouse. Unfortunately, after the deed was done we noticed there was a large amount of "genetic material" on the blouse, which cannot be washed. So she scrubbed it and prayed for that evil large white spot to go away so she wouldnt have to lie to her mom. Hey...far as I'm concerned the damn white out just...oops fell over onto her blouse *shrugs* Nah..telling her that her innocent daughter made me splooge all over her blouse sounds much more exciting...*grins*
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