November 15th, 2005

MOUSTACHE!

(no subject)

nellorat has FINALLY found a good use for spam...

I've been saving great subject lines from spam for a while, and today I decided to clear my in-box some and construct some kind of found poem by choosing the order and adding punctuation. A few of the subject lines were not intended to be random words--usually apparent which, but not always. Hope you enjoy.


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Destiny

oogle VS ogle

desertrose over in fanficrants discussing the difference between oogling and ogling. Can't tell the difference myself, but that's okay, because this was hilarious. QWP.

And then the Lord spake, saying, "First thy should know that one does not not "oogle" body parts, breasts in particular. Nor does one "oggle" them.

You will ogle them, and ogling shall be what you do.

You may, however "goggle" at them, if you wish. Oogling shall not count. Oggling is right out.

Once the breasts hath been properly ogled, then directeth thy characters into bed, who, being hot and bothered in thy sight, shall have teh smexx0rs."
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  • ems

New metaquoter (and quotee) - be gentle!

thenorthernline (brand new journaller, no less!) explains why Christmas sucks these days and calls for a return to the days of carollers, roast chestnuts and eggnogg, but warns against going the whole hog:

I'm not saying that we should go too far. It isn't necessary to invite all and sundry round to your gaff on Christmas day, as a result of which you have to suffer the lurid jokes of some oafish cousin ad nauseaum. Nor does one need to become a worthy philanthropist - those beggars in the Strand have probably earnt more than you this year. And I think we can forego a game of Blind Man's Buff, or 'Visually Challenged Person's Bluff', as it has doubtless been rechristened.

The whole entry is quite fabulously bitter.
Let this world explode

(no subject)

From lizzyjit, an American attorney working on the island of Palau who recently discovered that Amazon ships LEI jeans:

"I love these pants. No really. I love them love them. I want to marry them and make little cropped baby pants, not necessarily in that order. And if our love is wrong, I don't want to be right. If our love is so unholy as to be responsible for most of the world's catastrophes and natural disasters (just like lesbianism and feminism), then Jerry Fallwell can just kiss my big, round ass. Just don't slobber on the LEIs, baby. They're new."
Canada - peaceniks

Canadian Political Humour, Now With More Polar Bears--

Rick Mercer is visiting Churchill, Manitoba, Canada, the polar bear capital of the world--

Churchill is amazing. The place is crawling with Polar Bears. You haven't lived until you find yourself standing outside in 27 below weather suddenly face-to-face with a nine foot polar bear. A polar bear at first glance seems so sweet and cuddly but beneath their adorable exterior beats the heart of a vicious predator who would rather see you dead than alive.

It's kind of the opposite of Stephen Harper's problem.

I actually got to tag along with some guys from the Department of Natural Resources as they took a giant drugged polar bear, stuck him in a net and airlifted him via helicopter out of harms way. It's quite a sight to see. They use a technique that was actually developed in Alberta as the most efficient way to transport Ralph Klein back and forth between Edmonton and Calgary.


~rick_mercer, here, originating post here.