November 4th, 2005

Kiss me

(no subject)

In this post, cynicalinsanity discusses a DVR that was forced to call 911.....

This guys call in today and tells me that his DVR is calling 911...

And I can't help but think that if he didn't force the poor thing to record Dr. Phil and The Peoples Court it wouldn't feel the need to call the cops on him... abuse of electronics is not something we take lightly...

theres a little more after that.....very amusing.
He is Risen!


It's big enough to fit a 100 people at a time. I had it special ordered. I was hoping use it on stupid people. It's a people blender. But this is a great cause too.
- consortofvenus in this thread

not crediting because I didn't feel like asking permission, not linking because it's funnier out of context... for the record, the post isn't locked, so it's no biggie
I still say it's funnier out of context, so if you enjoyed the quote, I recommend not clicking the link.


sigma7 on the good old days, here:

Say what you will about the Atari 2600 days, at least we never had this problem. No red-dragon/green-dragon/magic-chalice fic, no no OMG the left-paddle from PONG came to me in a dream rants, no Uwe Boll making cartridges into C-movies ("Combat" starring Rip Taylor as left tank, Paul Lynde as right tank and guest-starring Charles Nelson Reilly as the "bi-"plane). It's a lot harder to extract 400K of insanity from 4K of program.

My first metaquote

Predictably, stupidly posted to my own journal by mistake.

Courtesy of the mighty cavalorn, a tale of a broken fridge.

"1. It did come to pass in the land of Manc that a certaine household had ane Frydge that served them wel, and the number of its daies were manie, for that it was a loyal Frydge and stalwart. And withal that this Frydge were rusted round and aboute, and namoore shone from out the midst of the Frydge anie Light, notwithstanding was it ane goodly Frydge after the fashion of Frydges.?"

Stop! Metameta time!

In this thread on a recent post to metaquotes that lacked... credit, context, blahdy blah, trishalynn actually responded to "Sing it to me, sister!" with this:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... (sung to the tune of "Helmethead" by Great Big Sea)

The poster couldn't be bothered by reading all the rules,
S/He thought it was a hassle and that it wasn't cool.
Us regulars, we disagreed and started on the snark,
And now the thread's wide open for people to make their mark.
There's more, and it's damn funny.
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed
[c] hark! a vagrant! - eat a dick
  • renne

how about ham & pineapple?

after investigating her computer spontaniously shutting down on her, sprouty calls a "reputable" computer retailer for a bit of help:

Me: "I have a slight problem with my computer."
Him: "Yes?"
Me: "Yeah, last night I fried my power supply."
Him: "Are you sure?"
Me: *pause* "Yes."
Him: *with condecension* "How can you be sure?"
Me: "Well, the smoke and the smell kinda gave it away."
Him: "But how do you know it was the power supply?"
Me: *longer pause* "Well, there's this silver box, right? And it houses the power supply, right? And when I removed the cover that says 'do not remove this cover' there was a black and charred and rather stinky bit that should be white and wholesome and represent all that is good and pure and right, ok?"
Him: "But are you sure the power supply is fried?"
Me: *even longer pause* "Come to think of it, no I'm not. In fact, I just rang you up to order a pizza. Do you deliver?"
Him: "Huh?"
Me: "Thought so. Bye now."
Black Cat: Saya neko

muppet natural selection!

dinogrrl quotes her bio prof in her LJ...

"So natural selection is like this. You have a population of muppets, except that Darth Vader isn't a muppet but we'll ignore that. There's an intergalactic war, and only those suited for such an event will survive. Grover is obviously not adapted for intergalactic war, so all the Grovers die, and the Yodas and Darth Vaders live, because they are strong in the ways of the Force. And then, because of some cultural thing, Yoda cannot have offspring, but Darth Vader can. So the Darth Vaders survive."

(full post here)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Camel backs

"If my father picked out someone for me to marry... I'd probably shank the guy, because my father is pretty conservative and... would probably end up picking someone who thought I should stay home and raise babies.
I'd be more open to what my mother decided. And I'd be more open to it if it were kindof 'hey. Our kids get along really well. Let's get them married,' or even "hey, close friends of the family! you have a son about the age of our daughter," than, say, "You're going to marry this person because I said so and because their family gave me 5 camels," or "Congratulations! America voted that you're marrying this guy!"

starlitsiren's opinion on arranged marraiges @

(no subject)

Nurse bayley_jade has a hysterical absent-minded moment (context here)...

I was doing a visit today, and the best place to do it is in the living room becuase its where I can get enough light to see, So I was sitting on the floor and I had gotten up to throw away the garbage and...


I *scream* at the top of my lungs and jump backwards absolutely freaking.

Till I remebered that the person I was seeing was an amputee.

...and that it was his artifical leg

....and that worse still I was the one that put it there.