October 29th, 2005

Mini!Leela: by obsequieux

teh_nessie bartends in the dark

"black
flowing
endless
u all stare but no1 understands
The Purple Bird Flies As I Unleash My Golden Mane Of Darkness Fairies
They Eat Your Spleen
this
i cannot go back
all the memories burn dark holes in my soul
its kinda like the lacy bra encupping my surprisingly large, round bosom now
...black
dying.
dying from your harsh words
Oh, Cruel World!"


Friends-locked entry, QWP.
Maynard pen
  • neaira

How the grinch stole.... caffe?

cindel in customers_suck tells a story about a grumpy customer to the tune of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"....

Every CaffyDoo
Down in CaffyDoo-ville
Liked Caffe a lot...

But the Tea Grinch,
Who lived just North of CaffyDoo-ville,
Did NOT!

The Tea Grinch hated Caffe
The whole Caffe season
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that her head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that her shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that SHE IS A BITCH.


Rest of post found here.

PS, this is my first metaquote, so if I forgot something, let me know!
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
snazzy

Oh man...

Posted with permission from a friendslocked post by overstim, commenting on the glorious Massachusetts weather:

Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But I am so delightful,
So, since we've no place to go,
HolyfuckingshititssnowinginOctobergoddamnitwhatswrongwiththisstate???
  • Current Music
    "Thoughts Before Me" by Amber Pacific
stupidity clumsygyrl

sperrywink speaks her mind.

phoenix ezzicons/xiggy
  • conuly

From a post on advertising by pehanoie

Rabbit: I'm going to try steal the Trix. I am announcing this because, even though I've been doing this same thing since the 1960s, I still feel you might not know. Like you'll on the TV, see me and think "Hey, there's the Trix Rabbit, I wonder what he'll do this time? He's going to try to steal the Trix? Why, that's the last thing I expect of him! Good thing he's announcing his intentions, so I know." Now I shall don a silly costume. *Sneaks up to the kids*

Kid 1: Dude, I think it's that fucking rabbit again.

Kid 2: Oh for Christ's sake- let's do this.

Kid 1: *Pulls off the rabbit's costume* Moron. You can't have this stuff.

Rabbit: Gee wizz!

Announcer: BUY THIS PRODUCT!


Full entry here.
carousel
  • jaig

(no subject)

bribitribbit's mum is very resourceful.

OMG MY MOTHER IS CRAZY.
MOM: *has her back turned from me* You know, there's a law you have to wear a hands-free headset when you're talking on the phone while you're driving.
BRITT: That's... nice. *really doesn't care because she has been lazy and not even started Driver's Ed yet*
MOM: I found some for eight cents.
BRITT: I already--
MOM: *turns around* *has rubberband around her head*
BRITT: *doesn't wonder why she is insane*

Rubber bands, excellent.
  • Current Mood
    cheerful
Anarchist, MatGB
  • matgb

Any Vacancies?

nadriel has an idea for a job he could do...
Are you an Evil Overlord? Sick of incompetent minions screwing up your plans for world domination?
Collapse )
* Offer does not apply to George Bush or anyone without decent internet facilities. Terms and conditions apply.


That's the full entry, but any offers should be made here.
  • thebasi

A Public Service Proposal

I had the Jafar song from Aladdin in my head this morning, and I was thinking that wouldn't it be awesome if bad guys IRL had evil songs? Think about it! Not only are the villain songs always the best ones, but next time Romney vetos a bill meant to protect women, or you have someone trying to force us to teach Creationism in schools, they'll burst into song! And then it's not like you can say that you didn't *know* someone was doing something bad because hel-lo, did you not hear the minor chords?

Found here.
unfortunate events

lost quote

oneangrykate and jubilancy explore what would happen if other directors directed jj abraham's LOST:

WHEDON DOES LOST: Everyone becomes far more snarky than before. Kate dies, but it was expected and people don't care much. Just when you think the rest of the cast is safe, Hurley is killed in a sudden, shocking manner. The audience spends the rest of the episode whimpering in their seats.

CUARON DOES LOST: The island suddenly goes Technicolor. Charlie and Boone and Claire have a carefree sun-fueled threesome. Everything looks pretty.


click to the post for the rest.
  • Current Music
    david cross - if baseballs had aids on them
Squee Kitty

Wherein scott_lynch alludes to Carmageddon

On the plus side, I now have my Fire Department badge and shoulder patch; useful items for pleading with motorists not to run me down ("Please don't kill me, I'm a probationary firefighter. Officers are worth many more points and will give you power-ups when you hit them.").

The rest of the post is funny, featuring puking cats, suicidal alternators and poop!
  • Current Music
    Wolfsheim - Following You

Pants?

In an old (start of this month) FO entry , QWP (I hope, he's a bit tired, eridanusus seems to be on some kind of medication, but isn't sure himself. Some notable sections include:

I spose i could bike o he liquor store bole of sambuca would go down quie qnice actually and ithen iiiiiiiiiiiiiii would have pants!

This might be a dream or I"m goin emabambarrasssssed tomoro


and my personal favourite, at the end,

I lost my rain of think. Gah.

Rain of think. That needs an icon.
  • Current Music
    Poe - Control