For the cover of Moab II: The Revenge of Vengence Served Cool, but Not Quite Chilly, in a Brothel in Corsica, The Fourth Largest Island in the Mediterranean Sea, Stephen will undoubtedly use a shaved koala wearing a pink neon flashing jockstrap onto which is embroidered in elegent drunken scribble "An Autobiography, Bitches".
I did a spittake over the last worry.
I really hate random grunting/crying/moaning/laughing noises coming from almost anywhere in the house. Makes me wonder if something traumatic is happening. Or if the cat's knocking stuff over and making a mess. I keep fearing the moment I'm gonna find out someone's dead or on fire or my parents are fucking.
Yeah, I'm paranoid and I don't do well with little tiny noises.
Besides, if Mr. Thompson took a serious look at 'hardcore' gamers, he would find maybe five percent of them are physically fit, or described best by words other than 'potato-shaped.' These are not, on the whole, dynamos of rage and aggression unless you move their cheetos.
Today at work we found a cracker box that was completely sealed - no one had tampered with it or opened it - but it was empty. Devoid of crackers.
This is why work was good.
For context irregularity,try Contex-Lax!
active_apathy's Grand Alternate Theory Of Intelligent Design
If intelligent design is true, then people still aren't intelligently designed. There's some smart, peaceful, fun-loving alien race out there whose bodies don't invent all manner of deadly illness, frolicking in freedom and happiness and an infinite supply of puppies and kitties and ponies to love and hug and play with every day.
They're the intelligently designed ones.
"What about us?" you ask. Well, that's pretty obvious.
They got an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of pencils, and by pure chance they eventually came up with something that looked to be intelligently designed.
This explains two things. One is why people aren't intelligently designed.
The other is why we use that silly example with all the monkeys.
"mummy, is that a padawan??????????
=giggle= I popped down the town first thing to get some photocopying done and as I strolled back up the hill, listening to my CD player, I overheard this girl (seemed to be about 10) asking her parent that question after a long hard stare at my Jedi Padawan T shirt... I dont think I have ever owned a T shirt that has confuzzled so many people!!!!!!!!! Tho, it is usually the back ("I survived Order 66") that disturbs people the most! I occaisionally get people nervously approach and ask me (in a very sensitive - in case I have been traumatized- and nervous manner) what is Order 66! :D."
LoL...the whole post (that is all of it, but if you want to see the title) can be seen here
"So after an incredibly stressful week, I was totally in the mood for some shoe-shoppin'.
I bought a new laptop instead."
Problem is, I just don't feel intelligently designed.
Hoping I'll live up to your expectations then! Otherwise, shall have to commit seppuku with my keyboard.
Entire thread here, with another amusing comment from one of the mods.
I would be more upset if the police told a group they could not march.
Replace the word Nazi with Fag in your question and think real hard about it.
Being a broke postgrad, she's working in her university library.
And no, we don't have a Geology department
Someone left a heap of rocks on a desk in the university library. Not boulders, but not the size you could carry in unintentionally - they're about the size of my hand, with a few pebbles arranged artfully on top.
Clearly, the Blair Witch now lives in our Politics section.
I asked what had happened to the rocks. Quoth she:
The rocks went to my boss's boss, who declared the situation 'weird' and has put them outside. Nobody's come back to ask about them yet. On the other hand, how would you phrase that? "Excuse me, I was trying to build a rockery on the fourth floor and somebody moved my rocks. Your staff are obviously incompetent, blah blah blah..."
And the worst thing is? It's so normal. You'd think i would be happy about that, wouldn't you? Because it means I'm not alone. But the point is that that doesn't help. Because what I really want, at times like these, is for a psychiatric diagnosis which means somebody is going to fix it. I don't want this to be PMS and teenage hormones. I want it to be a problem, that can be solved.
Italics count: Nine.
Exclamation mark count: Two.
Parentheses count: Five.
I found it equally amusing that her response to my request to post this was:
...dammit, nobody ever metaquotes my FUNNY entries.
Ahh the joys of hormones. QWP. Post can be found here.
Well, sure. Heck, green lantern couldn't stop you from peeing on him if it came to that.
The whole thread is pure gold*, I suggest you check it out.
*no oun intended, you dirty minded people, you!