October 15th, 2005

nook

Vanilla Ice *was* once cool!

From a constantly hilarious mendelini here:

(excerpts)

I spied an E! Channel rerun of Saturday Night Live from early 1991. Joe Montenga briefly and unenthusiastically introduced the musical act, Vanilla Ice. So I put down my book and watched - if only to bolster my self esteem by watching a young dope at the top of the world, completely unaware that his dream is not only about to be merely broken, but shattered, shit upon by a very ill dog, prodded with a stick by a toddler, set ablaze, and finally fucked by a sailor.

My own sense of schadenfreude was mangled by how truly abhorrent the performance was. Had I really forgotten the sheer horror of the Vanilla Ice phenomenon? His backup dancers leaped in place to ill-conceived choreography; I had never seen such boredom on the faces of men. Boredom so intense that it rivaled the sadness of war, starvation, and oppression. It was the sort of boredom - at its apex, of course - that conveyed honest and deep regret. These men had sold their souls to the devil, and now they were stuck dancing for him. Meanwhile, Satan himself fronted this blasting disaster, with a smug self-assurance reserved for an acquaintance's dickish boyfriend with the "pimped-out" Tercel and the part-time job at Sunglasses Hut. "Word To Your Mother" emblazoned in sequins on his back, Vanilla leaped in place as well. But his leaps were neither of joy nor boredom: they were sinister yet empty, as if each movement were a sloppy implementation of some master plan involving the End of Times and "Cool as Ice."
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    Neat Little Domestic Life - Of Montreal
  • duia

(no subject)

In my LJ entry in which I talk about my first day working for Victoria's Secret, halo4 has something to say about my observation of how obliging people are when they know you are new.

for the record, I usually tell people it's my first day for about three weeks or so (at restaurante jobs, anyway) and you are exactly correct in how much more accommodating they are. it's almost ridiculous. *spills battery acid on lady* "OH! I'm so sorry, it's my first day." *lady is like..melting and shit* "Oh, it's okay."
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    K's Choice - Virgin State Of Mind

(no subject)

keneally says of Jumanji:

"it has the cutest scene that ever included an unfit rhino.

My favourite bit in that movie, when they stampede through the town and all the animals are running, and then a few minutes later a little rhino runs after them trying to catch up.

I think it's because I see a little of myself in that rhino."

Here.
Manjoume Thunder // Chant!

First metaquote!

dorknessrising expresses her anger at the Org Forums at a friends-locked post.

People, please. You don't use DivX/XviD files in Adobe Premiere and not expect it to crash like Launchpad McQuack. Premiere hates MPEG-4. Like Garfield hates Mondays. Like Zoro hates alarm clocks. Like Madam Mim hates sunshine.

QWP!
  • Current Music
    In Another Life by Ashlee Simpson.
agent may is unimpressed

On alternative therapies and feet

How's this for weird?
I just took off my shoes after a long day of walking...

My sweaty feet don't smell like sweaty feet.

They smell like movie popcorn.

WTF? Granted, I visited the accupuncturist today (Discovered I was right. I've got too much liver yang. He also said I have a deficiency of kidney yin), but why would breaking up stagnant chi make my feel smell like snackfood?


--drharper
springtime the pony

(no subject)

followingmyfish: There wasn't much context, but I gather she ordered a doll of some sort.

This has been the official Angsting Due to Head Not Showing Up Today Despite Its Having Been Delivered to the Local Post Office This Goddamn Morning and Is Thus Now Sitting All Alone in a Dark Building, Possibly Being Ravaged By Another, Larger Package post. Have a nice day.
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normal
  • dkogan

Yom Kippur

My sister-in-law posted this exchange between my brother and his friend on a Jewish fast day when no food or drink is allowed.

Brother: Hey man, you want something to eat?
Friend: No, I am fasting for Yom Kippur.
Brother: Good.
Friend: But I could use a glass of cognac. I still need to go to the Synagogue.

(From mariya_s's locked post, quoted with permission.)
misc - not a weapon

(no subject)

thenotoriousgop reveals why he really went to law school after an interview gone awry:

Money, you douchebag! Lots and lots of ridiculous, insane, crazy funky fresh gobs and gobs and crazy silly piles of money! I want a Porsche and a Jaguar and a Mansion with a jacuzzi, a staff of maids and butlers, and a big ass electric fence to keep poor people out! I want a big money bin like Scrooge McDuck so I can swim in my money and toss it up in the air and let it hit me in the head! You wanna know why I went? MONEY!!!!

QWP from here. Make sure to check out the comments, too.
virgin sacrifice

(no subject)

Off of the officialgaiman LJ feed:

Neil, I have an ongoing dispute between myself and several lady friends. They think that you are attractive, that you have an "older British man appeal." On the other hand, while I love your books, I think you're rather not. Would you mind clearing this up for us? Are you attractive?

I don't think so, but then, I'm definitely not my type.
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