October 5th, 2005

it's magic

The Nexus in a Nutshell

(This quote, to give context, is explaining the Nexus found in sages_of_chaos to a newcomer. If you're unfamiliar with the game, well, here you go.)

"This being a multiverse, though, it is entirely possible, thus entirely probable, thus quite likely, and thus completely certain that somewhere exists a polar opposite for each Facet that exists."
Samus Aran (onemorebounty) when asked why some alternate versions of people label themselves "evil".

Edit: "Four words: 'complete failure of imagination.'"
Claire Redfield (finalgirl), answering the same question.

Bride of Edit: The Contextinating.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Furry Computer Mice

(no subject)

the_gneech declared the following today:
In honor of this morning's dorky spam, any posts I make today are going to be signed with the wrong name.
-Cordwainer Byrd
(Not necessarily comments, but definitely posts. -Bently Tipmeaning)

The interesting thing is that his idea is caching on, and others are now doing the same today. All in all, it's turning out quite humorous!

- Sullivan Strum (From one of my own spams I recieved)
  • telaryn

More jewels from crevette...

The always quotable crevette responds to a customer's voicemail asserting that "you need to call me back. It's what Jesus would do. Jesus would call me back."

Girlfriend, discounting the fact that there WERE NO PHONES when Jesus was alive... Not even considering what his voicemail would say.. "Hey... this is J.C. I can't answer the phone because I'm out raising the dead right now. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you. If you're a leper and your nose or fingers have dropped off, you can page me at... Not even trying to consider if his cellular plan would give him good coverage while he was being tempted out in the wilderness...

Simply put, Jesus would NOT call your whiney ass back, bitch. He'd be checking his phone every time it rang, see your number, roll his eyes and switch off his phone. You'd be stuck leaving voicemails for eternity. And when I say eternity, I mean eternity.

And if you give me enough time, I can find biblical verse to support that point of view.
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    amused amused
Daniel History Geek

The Plan of eSalvation

From the brilliant will63, using both Bible and Book of Mormon references.

Chapter 1: The Creation of LiveJournal

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with Brad, and the Word was Brad.
The same was in the beginning with Brad.
All blogs were made by it; and without it was not any blog made that was made. (John 1:1-3)

And Brad said unto those who were with him: We will go down, for there is web-space there, and we will take of these internets, and we will make a blogsite whereon these may blog; and we will prove them herewith, to see if they will blog all things whatsoever is within the Terms of Service. (Abraham 3:24-25)...


Go here to read the rest.
Surprise kitty

(no subject)

Context: From customers_suck-friendly worker rescues child from massive falling box in which the mother attacks the salesgirl assuming that she is going to molest said child:

While I may have a tad of an unhealthy obsession with the actor that played Peter in the new Peter Pan movie, I can assure you I was not trying to drag your child to the back room and teach him to be a man.
Penguins - Madagascar

meta-meta

In the comments of a post about "The world's shortest romance novel", muppetfromhell goes one step further.


Couldn't you just write:

Unresolved sexual tension.
Resolved sexual tension.

The End.

It's like a Joss Whedon plot, but with resolved sexual tension.




ETA: Comments include some semi-vague spoilers for Serenity
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
makeawish (by piperredfern)

Fun with etymology!

Professor Roy posts a query on his journal, reallybadpoetry, wanting to know if "irregardless" is actually a word.

tabbyclaw replies:

"Irregardless" is a perfectly acceptable word. It's from an old German word meaning "You can safely ignore everything else I'm about to say because I'm talking out my ass."
  • Current Music
    David Sylvian, "Answered Prayers"
kittens

Meow

I don't think that this is directly related to being spacey, but I am truly, truly, truly mystified that the two piles of cat excrement that were on my porch on Saturday morning are no longer there.

There are several conclusions I could draw:

a) The maintenance guy looked in on the situation and kindly took care of it.
b) The neighbors did something perilous and swung over to my porch to take care of it.
c) The cats decided to play with their own excrement and knocked it off the porch.
d) Really, really high winds swept it off my porch.
e) I cleaned it up myself and have entirely forgotten doing so.
f) Somewhere out there is a superhero who flies around, dealing with unwanted cat crap.

I'd really like for it to be that last one.


http://livejournal.com/users/shawk/331796.html
Here's Matt!
  • i_id

(no subject)

This just... oh god yes.

From colubra in response to a post on bad_rpers_suck

I would RP with some talent
I'd keep IC/OOC balance
and I'd stop causing folks pain
I would be a clever lady
and do nothing that seemed shady
if I only had a brain

I'd be civil, I'd stop sucking,
the rules I'd not be bucking,
And I'd be well-loved again.
Yes I'd manage some politeness
and not hear them say 'oh bite us',
if I only had a brain


That is all.

~ I_ID
Harry Potter: DISCO!
  • tania

(no subject)

My buddy inc_b is single and searching. To aid him in his search, he's just created his own 'dating resume', here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/inc_b/8946.html

Notable failed attempts
-Asked out friend of a friend. She accepted date due to mistaken identity.
-Asked out friend of a friend. Unable to deal with her personality flaws. Semi-stalking followed.
-Asked out girl from a club (who was turned out to be a friend of a friend). She was underage and lesbian.
-Asked out foreign girl from party. She accepted date without realising that's what I was asking for.

SKILLS AND ATTRIBUTES
-Bondage
-Cooking
-Steady job
-Car
-Sexual innovation
-High IQ and intelligence
-Artistic and musical abilities
-Queen size bed
-Looks good in a suit
-Very long tongue
-Strong yet soft hands
-[CENSORED DUE TO WRONG]
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
green, parks, blue, april

Getting to the point

forsythferret writes the world's shortest romance novel.

She was prettier than she thought. But she never realized it until she left her home in the country and moved to the big city.

He coulda been cute, if he'd thought about it. But he didn't. Which was part of what she found cute about him. No, she didn't make sense.

Through a humorous yet poignant series of events, neither of them told the other they were cute. Ignored romantic tension built, like the weight of water behind a dam.

And then once, when they were both tipsy, they blurted it out at the same time.

Vigorous sexing ensued.
Pixie

Porno shop metaquote!

There was also a DVD featuring a woman with the hugest, fakest breasts I have ever seen. They were practically growing out of her sides, and if she flapped them up and down, she probably could have flown a few feet.
s13, here.

(Hmm. Should that be behind a cut?)