Metaquotes

in response to a comment from this post over at queer_rage QWP

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Quoted from jedimartini's LJ, from a protected entry (quoted with permission).

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Today I bought my little brother a Teach Yourself the Accordion boxed set. He's about to spend six months on a small boat with my father and a couple of other guys. I consider this gift an... experiment in human behaviour.

--wal_lace, here.

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greenhoodloxley is cleaning out her closet:

How can I have this many pairs of khaki pants? I don't even really like khaki that much.

It's like I've been preparing to take a safari my entire life and no one ever told me.

No, I'm not quoting someone famous- this is me.
I am thinking and it is making me am.

--englishpigdog in statements here, but that's all the context there is.

jordansc responds to a Washington Times article about how Muslims are like Nazis:

"The other day I heard someone compare the war in Iraq to World War II. That would make sense in an alternate universe where Japan attacked us, Germany attacked our allies, and, in response, we decided to put an end to Greek fascism."

Actually, the entire thread is pretty clever. Read the article for context and then go check it out.

slyddur finds solace in facial hair after being shot down. QWP of course.

slyddur: Thus is the life of me
slyddur: never a ninja when I need one
slyddur: I never win
slyddur: at least I can twirl my mustache and cackle

What context there is includes monkeys, feces, ninjas, & religion.

The lovely watch4whales is having some...*ahem*...problems with waxing

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

Go...read the entire post here, and make sure you're not drinking anything when you do. ;)

No context needed:

I wish I could use google to find my meal card right now.

-evilgetyours [QWP]

kip_w takes the initiative and tries to get a new internet holiday started based on today's date...here's today's entry in his journal:

Ten-Four
.
Okay, so, like, this is "Try and Talk Like a Trucker Day," Good Bud-- Good Neighbor. Put the hammer down and watch out for Smokey in a plain wrapper on your front porch. Bring the better half and... uh... oh, to hell with it. ARRRR, mateys! I be bored already! Scupper me scuppernongs, Rubber Duck!
.

Well, it was a worthy effort while it lasted...

a_cimmerian: I have slain the blancmange! [a type of pudding - Ed.]

Where, then, is the kidnapped princess or terrified priestess that, custom dictates, I have thereby rescued?

quetzalcouatl: Mention was made of a chocolatl dish, I notice. Perhaps it was that noble confection you rescued?

a_cimmerian: Hah! Tremble, oh ye demons of the nether hells! I am Conan of Cimmeria, saviour of chocolate!

Here, if you must have context.

It's probably a clue that my life needs serious reorganization when I spend twenty minutes looking for my Playwriting text and find it wrapped in the curtains.

--notpoetry.

The best boyfriends will always laugh at your cheesy jokes. That's how they reel you in. They laugh first, then when they know you for a while they finally tell you that no, you aren't that funny, and that you have this weird mole on your back that seems to wink at him when we're sleeping.

-oh_oh_sheila on her personal journal.

yukie1013 is wroth and spaketh unto the populace of bad_rpers_suck about a crossing-the-line co-mod:

I'm gonna spank you so long and so hard that your whiny little suvian ass will GLOW BRIGHTLY ENOUGH TO ILLUMINATE A FOOTBALL FIELD IN ROSY BUM HUES FOR THREE MONTHS.

Full post found Here.

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Context: ikaruszino is annoyed with people who watch a movie and then say that they want X hours of their life back:

If you didn't like the movie, I'd much rather hear you say "This movie sucked cowballs ala mode" because it's now an opinion and not a stupid cry for something you can NEVER have back. Besides, what would you have done with that time if you had gotten it back? That's right. MASTURBATE.

Britain: AUBERGINE!
America: Omgstfuican'tpronouncethat.
Britain: *point and laugh*
America: Uh... EGGPLANT!
Britain: ...
America: HAHA PWNED.

-- mefiant


context? we don't need no stinkin' context.

also, this was my FIRST POST ZOMG. *hides* I found it funny, anyway.

cyclictic has a philosophy essay to write:

To liven it up a bit, I use musicians in my examples:

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My first day in sages_of_chaos and I already love it. In this post, screamin_canary brings teh funny.

screamin_canary: I asked if [Hal Jordan] wanted to see Serenity, and he just... Pulls a Batman. If Batman flew, that is.

doommarine: Batman doesn't fly?

screamin_canary: Batman falls. Like a rock. A rock with a cape.

I love my Creepy Internet Friends dearly, but time like these they make my brain ache. Today, it's acsumama's adventures in cooking:

Earlier today I was making a recipe that called for cream of mushroom soup, which I didn't have. So I threw some sour cream and mushrooms in the blender. The whole time I couldn't stop myself from thinking "blender blender blender blender blender blender blender blender MUSHROOM MUSHROOM blender blender blender blender blender blender blender blender MUSHROOM MUSHROOM ..."

Responding to an entry about President Bush's newest choice for the Supreme Court, sugar spun wrote:

George W Bush brings all the Prince Philip to the yard. It's like watching the new freshmen drinking tequila. You know the outcome's going to be awful, but at the same time it's so entertaining that you can't bring yourself to stop watching before you get puked on.

Thread is here

I think I just need to quote this whole post and thread.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/anonymoussorrow/580356.html

WARNING! NEKKID HASSELHOFF AHEAD!

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so i'm watching "america's next top model," and there's this beautiful girl wearing a moss silk shirt, draped on a fence, posing for the camera with a buckskin horse. she pokes the horse in the face, and the horse raises its upper lip in curiosity. the colors are brilliant. her top is falling down.

"PRESENCE OF PERMANENT INCISORS!" i think. "THIS HORSE IS THREE YEARS OLD!"

-blackmarketpony, who is currently in college for a horsey degree. (Equine Sciences, I think)

L'shanah tovah!
Ramadan mubarak!
The rest of you non-Jewish, non-Muslim bitches get nothing.

-cimarosa
x

cocky_brocky muses about coffee and other really random things in this post.

Coffee seems to bring out that awesome, creative side to me that has so long been subdued, due to my being bummed and all.

But you know what they say about caffeine. Gateway drug. Gets you onto harder stuff.

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So cartographer and mr_wombat get into cookery the whole post is hilarious

some highlights:

There's an optional step three where we're screaming "oh my god it's 4am why won't my ass stop"?

By god, in the name of science, you're throwing rum on this frying pan.

Mm. Yep, better with rum.