[as if there's enough context in the world for that one...]
DOOM has reached a point, in his comic book reading endeavors, where he tires not only of Marvel and DC's slaughtering of suspension-of-disbelief, but also grows weary of those in comic fandom whose disbelief is still suspended when reading of a world where Nixon is president a few months before Clinton, where so-called "heroes" who fought the Nazis in World War II are still young and fresh enough to do battle in 2005, and where Franklin Richards - son of Marvel's TRUE archcriminal - ages so slowly that he is perhaps the only person of any world who could offer a truly long-term relationship to Michael Jackson.
Understand, simpletons. DOOM is no continuity-shackled example of comic book geekery...No. DOOM, as always, is concered with higher purposes. And in this case, DOOM's concern is simply for story quality. Stories end. Characters die (yes, including DOOM). Stories that never end are not stories. Characters who never die are not characters. They're FRANCHISES.
DOOM believes the stories of most of the various superheroes should have ended a long time ago. DOOM himself should eventually fade from the pages. DOOM is ambitious, not unrealistic!
And there’s more!
ETA: My favorite among the comments thus far is hulksmashed’s “Hulk like residual checks Hulk gets from being franchise.”
Serenity IS NOT a character. Serenity is a SHIP. IF I EVER HAVE TO READ ANOTHER MAL/SERENITY FANFIC I WILL SCALP YOU WITH A SPOON.
Don't get me wrong, while I appreciate the love between a man and his ship, Malcom just doesn't swing that way.
Although it does give a new meaning to the term "cybersex".
Read the rest here (warning, much tearing-apart of the HP fandom): http://www.livejournal.com/community/angryletters/263440.html?view=881680#t881680
And it shall come to pass that a serpent with flaxen hair and emaciated from absence of soul will come forth and poison the air with her tongue. Demons will dance at her word. And the good shall suffer. The serpent shall call treason to those who are treason-less, and she will provoke the army of demons. She will call forth a great evil, but will fail by the power of God. And the serpent shall be called Coulter.
(From a post that oddly enough has nothing to do with cars--or Christians--here.)
-NO YOU WANT THE WHITE BOX! YES I KNOW THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE! EVERYTHING IS BEHIND THE COUNTER! I AM PUTTING POISON IN YOUR BAG NOW.
-Are you talking on your cell phone during our transaction? You = hate factory. I want to seek out ways to overcharge you, because you won't fucking notice since you're not paying attention to me or the things I'm saying or the questions I'm asking, like "do you want me to kick you in the crotch, okay then!" COMMON COURTESY, PEOPLE.
They're just waiting for the second shot. Bang, reviewer. Bang.
User 'coldsmoke' posted this and for some reason it had me laughing, thought i'd share!
"Life, real life, is a zombie movie. The only difference is most of the zombies crave lo fat breakfast stuffs instead of human flesh. Shuffle away, legions of the dead, you're harshing my "the next eight hours belong to The Man" buzz."
Can I wake all you emo kids up now?
from a locked post, qwp.
This is the whole post, though, so, yeah.
"Why hello there, mister congestion disease thingy. I wasn't expecting to see you again, did you forget your wallet? Here, I shall help you look for AGH OH GOD WHY DGIHGIDHGDGHDGDHFLUG"
ps: I am new to this metaquotes thingy. Oooo, metaquotes.
mothergoddamn goes shopping and has her hearing turn it into a nightmare trip...
Rather unsettling experience while buying some Snoopy nightwear (no wait, that's not it) from La Senza...
Clerk- Would you like some centipedes?
Me- Come again?
Clerk- Do you want some in your bag?
Me- Er...What the hell is wrong with you?
Clerk- *puts something in bag* There you go!
In numb panic I exit shop and gaze horrified into my bag to find: scented beads. People need to learn to enunciate...