September 28th, 2005

  • veedub

neil gaiman sez

The biggest trouble with black clothes... trying to work out which bit of the general blackness in the suitcase in a dimly lit hotel room when you aren't really awake yet is going to turn out to be socks.
coffee aye-aye

The truth behind organic

from the pen of elbowfetish

The truth behind organic

My working theory is, when lettuce goes rotten they put big 'organic' stickers over the bad parts. People won't notice until they get it home, and then they figure it was supposed to be that way.

I'm also growing reluctant to buy lemons which are greenish grey and fuzzy like peaches, even if they do cost a lot more.

Who will buy our rotten produce when all the 'healthy' people die out? [...]

(no subject)

Friend of mine on a locked post (permission granted!) talking about his ex-wife and her boyfriend, as the ex whined about her new luv to my friend over AIM.

he flips out about her being too high-maintenance. Which is kind of like freaking out that the hamburger you ordered has meat in it.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Love is in the binary algorithm

Courtesy of downwood as posted here

So, I'm working in an excel sheet with lots of data. Of course, rather than just doing queries on a database like good little drones, we don't use access, no, we have to use excel. bah. Anyway, I'm working along, calling stores from the list and checking modems, and I notice in the lower left corner that Excel says "Flirt Mode" and I'm momentarily confused as to why my spreadsheet is trying to hit on me.

Turns out, I misread, it said "Filter Mode"
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Tame the Beast

c_starkiller Has an arachnid problem.

BIGGEST, MIGHTIEST, BEAST of a SPIDER just strolled across my bedroom floor, paused, winked at me, then sauntered over and plonked itself under the tv.

Damn, pissing spiders. I know I'm going to sit up all night in the center of my bed holding a BB gun and wearing a plastic army hat, freakin' out at the slightest flicker or shadow >_< Appox on you, yeh pervy eight-legged freak! I'm glad you're stuck to my mum's slipper!


(no subject)

"I watched some hockey with Ben tonight, you know, trying to be a man. I ate a beef hamburger and half a large poutine. I did some burps. They were faggy burps, but I think that with the Straights it's quantity over quality (see: overpopulation of our planet)."

- miark, from this entry.

This is the way the world ends

emsy gets deep:

Do you know how I think the world will end? I think massive weather freaks of nature will wipe out everyone who doesn't have a way to protect themselves. Everyone who does will have spent so much money on protecting themselves that they won't have any spare to assist anyone else. Then everyone who's left will probably be World Leaders, and will end their days blowing each other to pieces over religious matters. Eventually there'll be one person left who'll own everything, he'll go 'Woo', then realise that there's no point in owning everything if you have no-one to gloat to.
  • Current Music
    Whisky On The Rocks - AC/DC

(no subject)

From a locked entry by eighty, QWP. I love how many different ways this conversation goes.


In Res Publica

prof: You could go swimming if you're brave and foolish.
girl: did you say jewish?
boy: i'm jewish
boy2: wednesday is yom kippur
girl2: no it's thursday
boy3: it was on the daily show
boy4: conan o'brien HATES jon stewart
  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted

Produce as a reward...hmm...

Over in childfree, spiritonparole has something to say on the subject of people who are too poor to eat well getting pregnant:

I hear zucchini tastes even better when received as compensation for sexual favors.

Edit: it was not my intention to start any sort of a flamewar or make any sort of point. I was merely scanning the comments to this particular entry and thought this quote looks humorous out of context.
  • Current Music
    Don't Be The Bunny; Urinetown

(no subject)

In the US they have something called 'hard cider' meaning 'alcoholic cider', which is a bit like having 'hot fire' or 'tall skyscrapers'. Cider is an alcoholic drink, you fools! In fact, a good cider is a very alcoholic drink. But I'm not talking about white cider here. That crap is for kids. I'm talking a good earthy scrumpy, one that tastes like it was made in a vat full of pig carcasses and old tractor parts. Which, I'm reliably informed, it probably was. Now, that's a hard cider. - wheeler gives the run-down of the best of British foods. Go, read! Amusing AND informative.

(no subject)

I keep telling myself that I'm not going to watch Lost because it's scary. But then I watched tonight, and it was scary.

I told Mike I can't sleep because I'm afraid of monsters. He said all the monsters on television are just metaphors.

Now I can't sleep because I'm afraid of metaphors.

  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy
sweet loli

(no subject)

After reading this cute coming out thing, ramen_addict and dizzycadence have the following exchange:

ramen_addict: Mrs. Kaplan is so enthusiastic. Like "Yay! I have a gay son, now I've got liberal street cred!" :D

dizzycadence: It's like my mom and her friends.

"My son's gay!"

[rawrs, claps, and finger snaps]

"Mine's a lesbian, and she reads comic books!"

[yeah yeah yeah preach it sistah diversi-tay]

"Mine joined PETA!"


", I'm sorry."