Metaquotes

One of the most perennially funny people I know (both on LJ and in real life) is pentomino. He just posted this a few minutes ago.

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Ideas raised in Shakespeare and Feminist Theory today:

~Hotspur is clearly ADHD, and the outcome of 1 Henry IV would have been very different if he had had access to Ritalin.

~Hotspur is cheating on Kate, possibly with his horse.

~A relationship between two people who don't speak the same language is only plausible if one of them is Colin Firth.

~Falstaff is, in fact, a metaphorical pregnant woman. And/or in love with Hal.

Discuss.

- poisoninjest here.

From a friends-locked post, QWP.

smileygoth's boss wanted to know if he was busy.

The truthful answer would of course be "No, I'm playing a game of Tetris cos it is more fun than work". And even with my concentration being focused almost entirely on the game I managed to spurt out the following bullshit: "Yeah, I'm just utilising some software to enhance my spacial awareness and geometric pattern management."

The boss actually bought it.

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But I won't be the one to stop it. active_apathy said here:

Here's a meta
There's a meta
And another little meta
Funny meta
Fuzzy meta
Metameta
Post

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snatchbeast replies to a locked post in cynical5679's LJ about how her dog flipped out over something, with:

i do the chicken dance at work a lot. for some odd reason, it makes every baby in the room stop crying, and this can be from 1 baby to 14 babies and toddlers.

i dont know why it works, but it does. you may want to try it?


In response to snatchbeast, pacotelic says:

Careful with that Chicken voodoo stuff...
the 15th baby will cuddle up to you and then detonate.

takhisis says in her journal:

Katrina. Rita. I realized today that we're potentially ruining a lot of very pretty names because they're being associated with death and terror. It makes me wonder where that tradition started, anyway. I mean, I'm sure it was for easier social reference and all, but why use attractive names? Maybe we're attracting the damn things with it. Ah, the tropical storm thinks, zey make me sound like ze beautiful contessa! I weel visit zem! I say we start naming them the way we really feel about them. Hurricane Skag. Hurricane Crackwhore. Maybe it'll make them stomp off in a snit. You never know.

This post brought to you by lack of sleep and too much stress & caffeine.

klwalton in this thread in roadnotes' LJ:

To anyone who feels the need to change me:

Don't tell me my walls are the wrong color, or my decorating (heh - such as it is) is bland, or my clothes aren't up to snuff or I'd look so much better if I wore more makeup or that you don't approve of my job or my cat or who I fuck or don't fuck. Either you accept *me* or you don't. I rather like who I am and I rather like the people with whom I surround myself, and I have no intention of making any kind of adjustment, major or minor, to make you feel more comfortable with me.

You ever watch peaceful protests and rallies going completely to shit on television, with people rioting and fighting and running around like screaming little girls and the cops getting attacked and stores being looted and cars overturned, and think to yourself, "Y'know, I bet half the people there were hoping this would happen, just so they could just have a good excuse to fuck everyone's shit up and set stuff on fire."?

You ever do that?

Nah, me neither.

--iron_spike in webcomics here as she updated her extremely cool webcomic.

moltare said in metaquotes

It'll be when someone metaquotes this metaquoted metaquote that isn't a metaquote that I'll know the world is beyond repair. ¬¬

By wrongly_amused on ash_gray_sky's journal here, in regards to that bitch Rita:

I don't think Category 5 should really count. I think once you go past 3, the last two designations should just be lumped into a conglomerate "HOLY SHIT, WE ARE SO FUCKED!" category.

Now, I'm returning to boarding up the house.

felis_ultharus, harried English lit grad student, is having issues with postmodernism:

[some ludicrous lit theory article describes a performance artist as:]"...offering to passers-by an "exhibit" of postmodern man about his daily business."

...What is "postmodern man's" daily business? Deconstructing his groceries? Turning office memos into historiographic metafiction? Informing his boyfriend/girlfriend that love is a bourgeois concept and a construction of language, and that the "I" in "I love you" is a signifier that cannot be tied to a signified beyond language? ...

siencyn asks:

Please deconstruct my grocery list. It currently is chicken, green beans, cauliflower, and coffee.

felis_ultharus, up to the challenge, puts on his Derrida mask and replies:

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vixyish was told to be less forgetful at work. However...

So back to this call. What has happened? I printed out all the paychecks for all the employees. Well, almost all of them. What's a great move when your boss has just told you to be less forgetful? Why, it seems I have FORGOTTEN TO PAY THE BOSSES.

Locked post, QWP.

saoba replies:

Were I closer I'd offer to don the Stompy Boots of Buttkickery, accessorized with the Handbag-With-A-Brick of Come Let Us Reason Together and we could take him out for coffee.

malikeye said in this post in reference to solving back problems:

~hugs his tylenol~ Teacher, mother, secret lover...

lordlucan makes a joke:

I'm going to invent a cocktail. It'll be called the Charles Dickens, and it will probably have gin in it, and it will come with either an olive or a twist of lemon, according to taste.

That way, when you go to the bar and request a Charles Dickens, the bartender will then ask "olive, or twist?"

And it'll be really really funny.

No, really. It'll be funny.

Honest.

keptwench has a sneeze go dangerously wrong..

Never sneeze while you have an Atomic Fireball in your mouth. You won't like it.


Well...I dunno about you...but my head would probably implode.

The ever quotable halnewcome takes a tangental comment to a post and runs with it:

There should be more people-shaped adult foods. I would be especially interested in eating them the more life-like they were. I am imagining a very hip restaurant where you can order two-inch high people who will wander around a platter and play frisbee or something until you pick them up and stuff them screaming and kicking into your mouth.

Don't ask me how.

After reporting yet another moron to techsupport, the_s_guy despairs the loss of the Level 1 troubleshooters that (before they went mad or something) ensured he only got the intelligent questions:

I need some kind of barrier between me and the endless reminders that we share half our DNA with cabbages.

terriblebeast is loosening her standards a bit:

Just as long as I can get through the whole entry without wanting to clutch my head like a stunned monkey, any version of the English language is fine.

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eljuno is late for class.

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vaguely has this to say about Locke's choices on tonights episode of Lost:

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