September 15th, 2005

Mini!Leela: by obsequieux

(no subject)

From spiralstairs in a locked post. QWP.

"There ought to be a law that automatically flunks a paper if you use the word 'society'. If you talk about how 'society' encourages men to be macho, oppresses women, discriminates against blacks and native americans, or anything like that, you fail.

You're expelled if you write about how the media encourages a false image of beauty and manipulates the stories to get ratings.

Hot lead through your head if you use a stereotype in your paper to describe how prejudice is still a problem in America."

Before I rush off to work:

sky_dark always has amusing posts every morning, making her a joy to read - but this is one of her best.

Thursday is dating your daughter. You're nervous about Thursay even though it seems to be a descent day. You've heard nothing but good things about it, still, it's dating your daughter. They've never come home late, they've never smelled like beer or cigarettes. Good kid your daughter, and you really can't hold it against Thursday it's realated to Wednesday. So if this thing with Thursday and your daughter works out, how much will the wedding cost? And what will your grandkids look like? And can it arrange it so you never had to see Monday again? This might be better than expected. Maybe you should have a little talk with your daughter. Never having to see Monday again is worth something, maybe she should put out a little. Yeah, this who Thursday-in-law thing might not be so bad after all.
  • Current Music
    The Brian Setzer Orchestra - Pennsylvania 6-5000

(no subject)

From a locked entry about mathematics from shala, posted with permission. (The whole entry deserved to be quoted, but hey. ^^;):

I am thinking about a divorce, brain. There are only so many times I can stand being slapped while you are drunk and belligerent, and that number of times is two. See, mathematics has not entirely abandoned me. It has allowed me a smidgeon of favour, while you cannot seem to even give me the time of day anymore. Fuck you, brain. You go have fun making nice to your secretary without me! You try seeing how that works out! She won't love you without a body, you know.
Helene of Troy

Satan buys gas

(posted with permission, from a locked post by demonfafa)

"My paycheck for this week was $666.66.

It's good to know the dark lord himself wrote my check this week. Makes me feel better about buying gas... I think."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
heart #2

(no subject)

princessenoire in a f-locked post QWP:

My child has been taken over by the South. I've always called him 'Gawain' instead of his legal name [Gavan]. Well, when I was talking to him on the phone the other day I said, "Hey, Gawain," and he replied, "It's goin' okay." I thought I was going to cry. The end.
Fangirl-y love

Fred Phelps and his Westboro "Church"

From my friend anij's post, quoted with permission.

I find this amusing. At the same time, this PERFECTLY projects my point that the gene pool needs some maintenance and upkeep, and that some people need to be sterilized before they breed. If I thought these losers had a following larger than my shoe size, I might actually worry about this. These people should have a Darwin Award on principle. Yay God.
  • sileya

Goin' out like Wile E. Coyote

My dear friend photograce rants about how we elected a Shrubbery as President here and gives several examples of how Bush can't "string together a damned sentence." But here's the best example, and her comment (QWP):


But this one took the cake for me. If you can follow this... more power to ya.
"Because the—all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those—changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be—or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled. Look, there's a series of things that cause the—like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate—the benefits will rise based upon inflation, as opposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those—if that growth is affected, it will help on the red."—Explaining his plan to save Social Security, Tampa, Fla., Feb. 4, 2005

All lines are currently busy. Please Hold. The next available brain cell will be with you momentarily. Your thoughts may be recorded to aid in better future customer service. BEEEP

At least when Clinton spoke, the man made sense, or you could at least follow the mental choo-choo. That last one... That choo-choo went down the tracks with the washed out bridge, and plummeted into a canyon followed by the Wile E. Coyote "thump" sound. What Gore lacked in charisma, he made up for with intellect and personal character, and, well, the ability to string together a damned sentence.

I cannot believe this man was elected. To ANYTHING. *headdesk*
Mini!Leela: by obsequieux

(no subject)

From a thread on fandom_wank discussing's strange prohibition of second-person fics:

sabinelagrande: I really don't get the second person prohibition. A lot of [second-person fics] really suck, but if we started reporting people for that...

crickets: ...the vastly outnumbered decent fic would be scrabbling to hang on in a vain effort not to be swept away with all of the dross being pulled into the spinning maw of suck, until it all collapsed on itself with a mighty, ear-splitting *WHUMP!* Nothing would remain but a few tattered banner ads floating on the stale breeze.