September 9th, 2005
Funny things said in court...
Taken from
moontrip, friends-locked post, QWP.
taken from:
msmelodyglitter:
What follows are quotes from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were taking place.
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taken from:
What follows are quotes from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were taking place.
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Row, row, row your boat
In
thequestionclub, someone asks a question about what you'd bring if you knew you were stranded on a deserted island.
loanwords answers with:
"A boat
Two oars
...
My boyfriend for.... personal reasons. ;)"
To which
samimnot comments:
"My boyfriend for.... personal reasons. ;)
Look, if you're too lazy to row the boat, just say so."

"A boat
Two oars
...
My boyfriend for.... personal reasons. ;)"
To which
"My boyfriend for.... personal reasons. ;)
Look, if you're too lazy to row the boat, just say so."
(no subject)
Over at
fanficrants,
37piecesflair has this to say about a christmas-themed fic:
'Oh Christmas fic, oh christmas fic, you make me poke my eyes out with pointy stick'

'Oh Christmas fic, oh christmas fic, you make me poke my eyes out with pointy stick'
(no subject)
Through the glories of photoshop ...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miastarr/122604.html
Because this needs to be seen
As posted on
etcets LJ.
First-hand accounts of what the relief efforts in New Orleans are really like...
First-hand accounts of what the relief efforts in New Orleans are really like...
a baby names funny
(no subject)
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In a comment made in this entry in my journal, alankhg proposed a way to make everyone more relaxed:
To make everyone chill out, what you need to do is get the assistance of the stoner of your choice, then go into the basement and add a large amount of marihuana to the HVAC system in order to "hot-box" the entire school.
To make everyone chill out, what you need to do is get the assistance of the stoner of your choice, then go into the basement and add a large amount of marihuana to the HVAC system in order to "hot-box" the entire school.
(no subject)
This makes it official: this administration has finally lost it. If they want to surprise me, senior cabinet officials will have to appear on the White House lawn in duck suits, beating each other with wiffle bats.
-
badmagic, reacting to the somewhat ironically named Freedom Walk here in D.C. this weekend.
-
Kids from Hell!
This gem is from sakurafae_'s journal:
"Say you were in a lage room, about the size of a basketball court. Hard floors, hard walls, no windows, no doors. Suddenly, you are faced with an infinite amount *as in, they just keep coming no matter what,* of kindergarteners, all hell-bent on killing you. For the past five years, they have undergone intense training in Jiu Jitsu, can gang up on you, fight on their own, etc. Also, you have nothing on you, which means no weapons, no random items that can be used as a weapon, etc.
My question: How many kindergarteners would you be able to take out before they kill you or you die of natural causes?"
"Say you were in a lage room, about the size of a basketball court. Hard floors, hard walls, no windows, no doors. Suddenly, you are faced with an infinite amount *as in, they just keep coming no matter what,* of kindergarteners, all hell-bent on killing you. For the past five years, they have undergone intense training in Jiu Jitsu, can gang up on you, fight on their own, etc. Also, you have nothing on you, which means no weapons, no random items that can be used as a weapon, etc.
My question: How many kindergarteners would you be able to take out before they kill you or you die of natural causes?"
Networking: Find copperwise a job!
Since I'm job hunting I thought I should set down some concrete goals.
I'm thinking I'd like a job that looks really good on a resume for later speaking engagements; something where I can fill all of the executive offices with my friends without regard to qualification or integrity; something with a bully pulpit to force my views across; something where some of my employers are willing to hire me simply because we share similar religous views; something where I can drive the company into the ground willy nilly; something where I can repeatedly be caught in blatant lies and still have the full support of half my employers, and where that half is willing to go to bat for me with the unhappy half; something where I can have complete disregard for more than half of my employers needs but as long as I keep the more powerful employers happy I can coast.
I'd like to make about $400,000 a year. Any leads would be appreciated.
On how Brown got to be head of FEMA
from this post by mathwhiz78:
Brownie: I managed the Arabian Horse Association for nine years, but I was kicked out.
Shrub: Ooh, horsies! Rich people like horsies! Welcome aboard!!
Yeah. Verily!
Thus sayeth
soundwave106... and I agree-ith.
Now here's irony defined for the hate-filled: one of the places to emerge almost entirely untouched from the storm was the Mardi-Gras Southern-decadent party-filled, homosexual-inhabited French Quarter. Maybe that's a message that God really wants us to have a little fun. Hmm.
Now here's irony defined for the hate-filled: one of the places to emerge almost entirely untouched from the storm was the Mardi-Gras Southern-decadent party-filled, homosexual-inhabited French Quarter. Maybe that's a message that God really wants us to have a little fun. Hmm.
i know one of you out there's got some candy.
"Send Nutter Butters please. We need them for mission accomplishment.
HN (FMF) LAWRENCE D. LEDUFF III, USN
RCT-8 (RAS)
UNIT 73915
FPO AE 09509-3915
Many thanks,
Regimental Combat Team 8
Regimental Aid Station"
-
chipleduff, here.
HN (FMF) LAWRENCE D. LEDUFF III, USN
RCT-8 (RAS)
UNIT 73915
FPO AE 09509-3915
Many thanks,
Regimental Combat Team 8
Regimental Aid Station"
-
A Lesson: Why "fuck you" is OK and "asshat" is not.
The following takes place in
petbulls:
_bizzle: calling someone an asshat, really, only makes YOU look uneducated. asses can't wear hats.
katitious: And telling someone "fuck you" is any better than calling someone an asshat? That's ironic.
_bizzle: well, it is actually possible to fuck someone; while, as i mentioned earlier, asses can't wear hats.
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The entire "discussion" can be found here. It's worth a gander. Especially when
rottnpagan decides to show
_bizzle that asses really can wear hats...

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The entire "discussion" can be found here. It's worth a gander. Especially when
The Hitchhiker's Guide to Livejournal
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about blogging:
Blogging is the act of regularly updating your website with some hum-drum information about your life or a link to something you just read on the internet in a mistaken belief that anyone actually cares.
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