September 8th, 2005

laugh smile -celli

From the insanity that is fandomhigh...

What happens when you turn all of fandom into teens and send them to high school together? Gems like this...

emo_padawan (i.e. teen Anakin from Star Wars)
"Sith are the ultimate bad guys. Or at least that's what I've been taught all my life. They are everything the Jedi aren't--consumed by their emotions, concerned only with what they want, not interested in how that might affect others.

You know, the living embodiment of our own worst selves. Do you have something like that here?"

bloody_rockgod (i.e. teen Charlie from Lost)
"Yeah, only we call them Yuppies."
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    amused amused
Lorrie, LJH, my default icon

(no subject)

From a public post by schwa242

No context needed, this is the full post:

As a child, I looked up Pismo Beach, California and Albequerque, New Mexico in my parents' atlas. Basing everything on the left turn Bugs Bunny was supposed to make, as well as the distance he travelled, I determined that he probably lived in Mexico.

It's thoughts like this that helped ensure that I sat alone at lunch.

-- Schwa ---

I even used a ruler.
grey

(no subject)

From melodysk quoted with permission in a friends-locked post:

From Conor (age 12) after History today ...

' I know why there is fighting in Northern Ireland'

Stephen : 'Why?'

Conor ' Well, there are Catholics and there are ...um ...it sounds like prostitutes'
BtVS {Anya - Capt. Logic}

iGod and Kitties and Short Circuit

In response to an edit made in an entry about my cat, wholedamnturkey tells of her discussion with iGod:
________________________________

P.S. Talking with iGod is like reasoning with a hyperactive three-year-old who's watched Short Circuit 2, like, eight million times. It's pretty great.

Here is a discussion we had about bad things happening to good people.

Me: It happens all the time! Everywhere!

God: That is a lot. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. Including the bottom of the ocean?

Me: No! It's about bad things happening to good people! Penury befalling the innocent!

God: Are you serious? Wow it sounds really interesting,. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me: I'm sorry, God. I didn't mean to BLOW YOUR HOLY MIND.

God: There is no need to apologize. GOD rules.
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    bouncy bouncy
marshmallows

(no subject)

Conversation took place in my LJ, but isn't by me. :)

Context: For various reasons, a couple of days ago, I suggested "plert" as a new informal term for female genitalia because lots of folks seem to be unfond of the existing common choices.

Today I posted this link to a product for women to use to pee standing up (even while dressed), which came to me from gmail's timely and relevant links.

This exchange followed:

la_rainette: Wow. And how are you supposed to put and hold the thing in place? I mean -- it's hard to access your, erm, plert area without taking your clothes off in the first place, isn't?

phreid: I would never pretend to be an explert, so I direct you to the site's convenient diagrams.

rainette: *dies*

phreid: *nod* Being male and having never been the subject of a sex-change operation, I am neither an plert expert nor an ex-plert.

linky, though there's not (so far) any more funny to see there.
Pretty!!!

It's an equation of LOOOOOOVE!

sailormac posts in her LJ (non-flocked) about some VERY delusional fans who think they're married to their favorite characters...

And she commits a typo. What does bluethree say about that?

sailormac:rabidfanssuck has had, within the last 24 hours, not *one*, but *two* reports of people who thought they were *acutally married* to ficitonal characters.

userbluethree: Oh yeah? Well, being acutally married to an anime character is nothing, because I"m OBTUSALLY married to Honoka Yukishiro from Pretty Cure, and I'm acutally shagging Athena Asamiya from King of Fighters on the side, thus creating a love triangle!


A SCALENE LOVE TRIANGLE!!!


Damn, I love trigonometry humor based on typos.
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    Guns 'n Roses - Patience
The Hills are Alive

From livejournal_uk, on Spiders

kizx3 posted about her first successful spider killing, and the comments that ensued are most amusing:

copycatkiller: Of course, you DO realise it's family will come back to avenge it when you're asleep...

perviepom: Spiders keep your house clean, in terms of bugs, they're the daddy.

(And in reply to that, we had...)

l_i_s_a: yeah so do cleaning ladies, but if she crawled on my bed in the night i'd batter the shit outta her too.

eiren: I reported you to PETA, they'll be around to smash up your house ASAP.

paul: For extra efficiency - light the hairspray. Just make sure whatever the spider is on isn't flammable...

air_bizkit: I use the hoover.

:D

It's also funny watching them trying to hang on to the wall, then.....*zzzZOOOM!------>* up the pipe to dusty death.

bruisedegomania: I hope an army of spiders comes to lay eggs in your brain.

The whole entry, here, is worth reading.
  • Current Music
    The Killers - Believe Me Natalie

(no subject)

slammerkinbabe has a hilarious poll in this entry. Among the answers for,"What is the smallest denomination of money you will pick up if you see it lying on the sidewalk?" are:

"_Everytime it rains it rains pennies from heaven

_So *that's* why the sidewalks in Harvard Square are so cratered and broken

_Are you implying heaven only exists directly above Harvard Square?

_I wonder what a heaven-penny looks like, anyway.

_Like a *raindrop*, you dumbass.

_::blink::"
rickrolled

(no subject)

quoted in full from hedgegoths journal

I propose that when a government official says something incredibly stupid to the press that they are immediately kicked in the nuts.

I'm not sure what punishment to mete out on the female officials yet, but I'm sure we can come up with something.



I agree, totally, might make them stop and think before they open their mouths.
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    bouncy bouncy
ariadne

False advertising? Only if you're quick with the anagrams...

In this post in customers_suck, penguinbeatz was working in an arcade when a crazy lady came in and, upon discovering that the arcade's proceeds were not going to the hurricane relief effort, accused her of false advertising. penguinbeatz' comment:

So, seriously, wtf. How did we advertise anything? How are we tricking people into donating money? THE ONLY TWO SIGNS WE HAVE IN THE STORE SAY "EMPLOYEES ONLY" AND "NO FOOD OR DRINK"

To which nadmonk replied:

Ah yes! But if you take some of the letters from "EMPLOYEES ONLY" and "NO FOOD OR DRINK" and rearrange them you get:

money for n orleens plood

Which is alot like: Money for N. Orleans Flood

So clearly that's a statement that your procedes will go to the flood victims!
cass // deathbyexposure

(no subject)

In a discussion over in mock_the_stupid, the subject of spoilerrific icons came up. I posted a comment warning the OP to beware of the flame war from the HBP spoiler that is the icon used.

This thread was part of the spawn.

peppervl: That's like when Troy was just coming out and one of my friends was listening to the song from the soundtrack that's called "The Death of Hector" or something. So it appeared in the music section of her post.

She got reamed for spoiling things.

Now, granted, the movie hadn't been out for a month yet, but The Illiad was written how many thousands of years ago again? I didn't know it was possible to spoil something that was that years old. Apparently I was wrong.

alaitallon: Not to mention even when Homer told the story, everyone knew the ending already, too. So even THEN it wasn't a spoiler. Though I'd totally love to see the Greeks go crazy over some Greek writing on a vase, "LOLOLOLOL!!! HECTOR DIES IN BOOK XXII!!!!"
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    giggly giggly
bang bang you're dead
  • hezul

(no subject)

Only quoting myself to give the setup for someone else's punchline, don't hurt me plz.

From here:

zionga: So I went to the post office to pick up the mysterious package. I was quietly hoping maybe somebody had decided to sneakily send me something cool for my birthday or something.

It was a refill on my prescription for birth control pills.

ell oh ell. XD



icybrian: Yeah, that's the first part of my gift. The second part comes once I get my flight booked ^_^
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    R.E.M. - Second Guessing