I confidently predict that next year's greatest movie release will be:Snakes On A Plane.
Take a moment to digest that. Snakes on a plane.
And let me reassure you: It's not some ponderous metaphor-rich Todd Solondz movie about ennui and anguish and how terribly mean we all are to each other, set in a small town launderette and starring Philip Seymour Hoffman and Patricia Clarkson.
It's about snakes on a plane. And it stars Samuel L Jackson.
"On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, let loose a crate full of deadly snakes."
And that's it! And that's all you need! Snakes! On a plane! To quote Samuel L Jackson himself; "You either want to see this movie or you don't. Snakes On A Plane! There's no mystery to that!"
Obviously it'll be a massive hit, and they'll want to make a sequel. The law of diminishing returns suggest it'll most likely be Goats On A Bus, or Chickens On A Pedallo, starring Jason Patric. I'm hoping for Bears On A Cruise Ship, or Leopards On A Space Station.
They briefly changed the title of Snakes On A Plane to Pacific Air Flight 121. Samuel L Jackson made them change it back.
"I get to spend six and a half weeks going to set every day going 'Ah! Ah! Ow! Ow!' I don't have to go in every day and figure out the dramatic purpose of this particular scene."
Snakes On A Plane.
, my new favorite movie title reviewer