August 24th, 2005

britta guns - shelightsupwell

(no subject)

Meta-meta, from here.

amyrose: Ever notice how people always claim to be somebody famous or powerful in a past life? They are always somebody like Cleopatra or Columbus. It's also almost always a past life with a positive ring to it. You never hear somebody say "I was Stalin in a past life," or "In a past , I was Joseph Goebbles." I think Tom Cruise was a sea slug in his past life and he will be again in his next.

ironychan: No, no. He was a clam.

But...but...my widdle baby boy might grow up to be a drag queen!!

From the ever interesting babyslime, in a thread she started here by posting a facetious poll about dressing infant boys in pink, which serpentined off into a discussion of little boys having dolls...


ivymae: you know, i've heard dolls carry the gay also.

babyslime: Particularly dolls who are wearing pink. That's gay double-time.
One day it's pink sleepers, the next he'll be singing "Somewhere over the Rainbow" dressed as Liza Minelli.

(Edited to repair tagging/formatting screw ups)
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Too cute

With permission from slackferno

"Boo-ya. I just called Jim Kolbe's office in DC and spoke with the hottest-sounding British guy this side of Alan Rickman. "Please let Rep. Kolbe know I'd like his support on House Joint Resolution 55---and please be my love slave...please?"
polycorns

(no subject)

flemco is having a hard time with Pat Robertson lately. (Post contains relevant links if you have no idea what's up.)



ed_dirt: "...if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it."

Ok. I guess that means take him out to lunch.

flemco: Today I assassinated my facial hair with a razor, then assassinated some dirty dishes in the kitchen and assassinated my socks and shoes so Mel and I can go assassinate some lunch.

See? It means so many things! Assassinate is the new Smurf!

More wonderful quotes from customers_suck

This taken with permission from poorheather when discussing the frustrations of dealing with delinquent bill payers.

"PAY. YOUR. BILL.

Seriously, in what universe does travel magically absolve you from any fiscal responsibility whatsoever???

...Oh, right. Yours. Where happy yellow men in purple jump suits roam free amongst the gumdrop mountains, and where Cop Rock is still on the air 24/7."

The rest of the post is found here:http://www.livejournal.com/community/customers_suck/12295139.html
danielarms

Fishsticks!

Quoted with permission from this post in customers_suck by the wonderful and brilliant squigglz:

"So I was at Target the other day, doing some shopping. I made the mistake of wearing a red shirt. But I was also wearing jeans, flip-flops, and carrying my Bigass Purse of Doom, as well as being on my cell phone while I browsed. I didn't really look like I worked there.

I was standing in cosmetics, just looking at some eyeshadow and chatting to my friend, when this 40-ish soccer mom type grabs my goddamned arm.

"SHAMPOO!" she yells in my face.

I threw my arms up and yelled back "FISHSTICKS!"

She just stared at me, confused, and didn't say anything.

"I win!" I yelled, and skipped off."
history repeat dinosaur

(no subject)

cmer posts an insanely hilarious list of HP fanfic summaries here. Check out the whole post, it's hilarious.

"Ginny starts a Hogwarts News Paper. It seem's like a good idea at first but she never heard the saying Cruisty killed the cat. One person can save her from the most unhumman doom but will he?"

"Harry, pregnant, dying, encounters one of his ancestors."

"Rated R for the obvious reasons. Featuring Snape. Do not read if you are offended by such things."

More (w/ profanity) under the Collapse )