August 21st, 2005

RK, abused, insanity, at work
  • cmzero

(no subject)

In a mock_the_stupid entry, a receptionist INSISTS there's only one guy named Tim at the company, therefore all mail addressed to Tim must belong to Tim #1 no matter what the last name on the envelope says.

wesa has a solution to such thickheadedness:

Tim should go grab Tim and both go to her desk.

I would pay money to watch her explode.
  • Current Mood
    amused rotfl
sweet loli

Grammar Nazi Rides Again!

In this post at fanficrants, dorknessrising gives us a good incentive for remembering grade school grammar:

In other words, the next time you write "Johns favorite dish was his mothers spaghetti and meatball's," I'm going to beat you senseless with a first-grade English workbook until your brains scream Fist of the North Star attacks. In Japanese. With subtitles.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
squishy finding nemo
  • lizey

(no subject)

tviokh wonders how the crazier Harmony shippers handle the dreaded Real Life.

"I don't think a stop sign ought to be there. Everything else on the roads leading up to this one indicated to me that the sign would be on the road coming the other direction, therefore, I don't have to stop because that sign really isn't there to begin with. The roads I designed in my head are better than the real ones."

Okay, on that last line, if you're in Wisconsin, chances are it's probably true but that's not the point.
hell!

The ever wonderful calculette

I've noticed that all English girls dress the same. It's all very tiresome. They all have long hair. They all wear large, dangly glittery earrings as well as three ethnic rings, two chokers, five necklaces, a chunky wooden bracelet, a chunky gold bracelet, and various Indian bangles all at the same time. They all strive for this cutesy, boho-chic look that says, "I'm classy, but quirky. I'm experimental; funky; but I also know how to play with classics. I wear vintage. I have a sense of fun about my fashion. Did I mention my fashion role model is Sienna Miller? She's so gorgeous, but she's also talented. Don't you know she's in a Shakespeare play? That's like me. I'm not a mindless fashion drone. I go to indie gigs; I like bands nobody's heard of. But I also take the time to appreciate, in an ironic, high-brow manner, disco. I'm not trying too hard; really, my style is completely me."
blindfold

terror levels explained

This funny bit from workerant156b made me give up drinking and reading my f-list for a while....



Reuters and AFP are reporting that the French Government announced
yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide."

The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate."

The elevated alert level was precipitated by the recent fire which
destroyed one of their white flag factories, effectively disabling their military.



you can check them out here
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Nothing is ruined.
  • newsong

Dentists

From inparentheses's journal. (A private post, but not incriminating information, so I felt at liberty to post it here.)

Plus, the dentist and his cohorts always leave the room when they X-ray me. They make up flimsy excuses, like "I have to go put my socks in the dryer," or "I think the cat is throwing up." Then they flip the X-ray switch and race out of the room, probably to a lead-lined bunker.

Avenge my death.
Ultrababy X

The question all men hate

My friend dragonlady7 lives in upstate New York with her boyfriend. Apparently, there are some things a man just ain't good for.

I completely lack girlfriends in Buffalo and thus can't ever find anything in the mall. (Just you try getting anything coherent out of your boyfriend when you're trying on jeans and just don't know about the fit. "Do these make me look fat?" -- "Augh!"-- "Get out from under the bench and answer me you twit." Not productive.)
Computer Alpha-Complex Paranoia Schol-R

And don't forget the Spell Checker

Noted Chaosopher elfwreck has decided to show those looking for easy miracles why one should be careful about what they wish for:

I have a new policy (well, over a year old, but new-ish) for spellbeggers: give them what they're asking for. Most of them don't actually *want* spells; they want someone else to wave a magic wand and say "abrakazam; problem-b-gone!" and have it be effective. They certainly don't want to do the spellwork part themselves.

Someone on a forum [...] said that s/he had problems and was begging for a "luck spell." Of course, this person didn't bother providing info like "what kind of problems" or "what religion s/he follows" or "what kind of magick, if any, s/he normally uses."

Fortunately, my Eris-fu is undiminished by such problems. Discordianism is a very ecumenical religion, and Erisian magick works for everyone.

And as it happens, the spell itself is a lot better considered and (amazingly enough) more sensible than many crafted by 'serious' fnord spellworkers:
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