August 11th, 2005

Link saves the day.

Prophecy?

Ok, time for a metameta. This lovely gem comes from bynkii as a comment on my metaquote from before jam where the prophecy from order of the phionix was mentioned.

here is bynkii's version:

I thought it said that Ginny's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, because that's right, it's better than yours.
  • Current Music
    human hosepipe
agent may is unimpressed

Potter in prison

I may have mentioned my insane friends before, and I'm so glad that shizukun is around them more often than I am so he can record insanity like this:

Chloe says, "..."
Chloe says, "WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Harry Potter has bewitched detainees at the U.S. prison at Guantanamo Bay, where tales of the young wizard and mysteries by Agatha Christie top the list of most popular books, a prison librarian said on Tuesday."
Chloe says, ""Lock down Block B! Riot!" "Shit! Someone piss on the Koran again?" "Worse; one of the H/Hr 'shippers went after the chief cleric of the H/L group with a shiv." "Hurry! We need help here!" "DEATH TO THE INFIDEL WEST AND THAT BITCH CHO CHANG! ALLAH HAS DECLARED ONLY GINNY WILL WIN HIS HEART!""
polar bear paw

donut vampirism on the LJDQ

On today's Reminder Post for the ljdq, my co-moderator chaosvizier told the class that his breakfast today consisted of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups & Mountain Dew. Which led to this exchange in the comments:

poison_iva: But I don't like Reese's peanut butter cups...
chaosvizier:I'm open-minded. Feel free to insert the unhealthy candy of your choice in the square.
poison_iva: yummm... donuts... (does that count as candy? What if I only eat the icing?)
chaosvizier: Suck the sugary creme filling out of the donut, and you've got yourself a deal.

So what we need now, good people of LJ-Land, is a contest to find the most suggestive interpretation of that last line.
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    creative
Self cleaning

(no subject)

magp in This post in thequestionclub had this to say about the prospect of getting a tattoo:

Honestly, I've never had any desire to get a tattoo, but I have to say, it might be neat to get a tattoo of a rooster hanging from a noose on my shin...that would mean that I could tell people that I have a cock that hangs below my knee....
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    amused amused
i am teh sideways omg!
  • soleta

(no subject)

idan_cohen gets kinky with his new girlfriend:

And now, the past twenty minutes; illustrated by Hand Puppets.

CAST:

Hand Puppet #1 is short, hairy, and witteh.
Hand Puppet #2 is short, hairy, and witteh. But female!

Hand Puppet #1 walks on stage. Lies down, takes off clothes.

Hand Puppet #2 walks on stage. Lies down, takes off clothes.

Hand Puppets #1 + #2: SEX HOORAY

[The next fifteen minutes have been stricken from the record by the Board For The Preservation Of Baby Jesus' Innocence]

Enter Hand Puppet #3. Hand Puppet #3 is 15 years old, and is the brother of Hand Puppet #2. Surpirisngly, not very hairy!

Hand Puppet #3: HAY GUYZ WHERE IS

Hand Puppets #1+#2: HOLY SHIT BLANKET COVER ATTACK

Hand Puppet #3: ...I'll just be going, then?

Hand Puppet #1: THAT'D BE NICE YES
looking into the light

From a f'locked entry by jeriah (with permission)

jeriah is deabating whether it's racist to tell a Jewish girl he just met (and wants to sleep with) that she looks like Ben Stein.

sirogit responded with this gem:
Its not racist to tell a genuine Ben Steiny individual they look like Ben Stein.

You will fuck your game up if you tell this girl she looks like a man.

Unless you make a game of it. Like if you said "Baby, tonight, I want to play win Ben Stein's Pussy."
hp battle

On Norton Antivirus

Quoted from accio_draco, used by permission:

Having had some trouble with viruses, the ever-quotable accio_draco suggests some possible improvements to be made to Norton Antivirus software:

1. In addition to blocking, repairing, quarantineing, and etc malicious script, there should be a final step in which Norton finds the person(s) responsible and drags them from their safe, warm beds into the cold streets, beats them within an inch of their life, and torches their home.

2. If this sounds extreme, just wait until you see my spyware policy.
Misc☢the shape of your mind
  • vilify

(no subject)

Taken from an entry at my LJ wherein I complain about having been suspended due to mistaken security issues. tears_of_nienna sends me on my quest to gain back my account with these words of encouragement:

Godspeed, my friend. Even though that's a weird phrase, because it always looks like "God's peed" when I read it, which makes me sigh and wonder why he hasn't been housetrained yet.
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    accomplished