August 10th, 2005

amuria and neviril.
  • drei

Broken toasters.

From the_evil_djinn in this post.

In other news, my toaster is broken.

You sort of neglect the toaster as a useful houshold item until it's gone. I made toast in the frying pan today and it just didn't taste the same. It never comes out right.

When your toaster works, you're like "Eh, it's just a little box that makes bread crunchy. Big deal. I don't need it."

Then it's gone and you're like "AAH! TOAST!"
  • Current Music
    aqua teen hunger force on the tv
Halloween Hair

(no subject)

In the comments to a post on customers_suck, tapedeck muses on excessive coffees:

Although I am a girly-girl and like some milk to take the punch off my coffee, I don't see the need to mask the taste of a caffine hit with endless flavouring, creative applications of nuts and toppings, a small plastic monkey and several hula girls. It's coffee.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
reboot universe

Only funny to spelling sticklers...

I just saw the most amusing thing on the libertarianism community. Someone posted a question about the Libertarian stance on "rouge nations", by which I assume he actually meant "ROGUE nations". perich responded as follows:

Rouge nations need to use less blush, and perhaps apply a bit more toner and undercoating. Consult a CVS skincare specialist to determine what complexion your nation is - today!

Henceforth, it shall be known as Andreas

In a conversation I mentioned putting my bread in the fridge to keep it from going moldy quickly, and michiexile said "But bread goes moldy in the fridge as well." And he illustrated:
There is a legend among the Stockholm chapter of the Young Scientist Association in Sweden about how at one of the previous locations of their administrative center/hanging out rooms, there lived an entity in the fridge.
    According to the legend, the entity - named "Andreas" or something similarily mundane - was once a forgotten cheese sandwhich. Once it started molding, noone really did anything about it. Some time later, it was green and hairy, and so the geeks hanging out there decided to give it a name and start feeding it sugarcubes and water at least once a month to keep it rolling.
    Apparently it was around for several years until the chapter moved house and the fridge got cleaned out by someone with a still-living sense of hygiene.
You've all seen It, especially if you live alone; now It has a name.
With apologies to people named Andreas---I actually thought it appropriate because it's obviously a sapient's name.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
I am a girl of the future

organized religion and ants

From the journal of thatnoise:

"Today I was walking home from school and I saw an anthill. Me being me, I ran over and kicked it. As I watched the ants scurry, I realized they probably thought, in their microscopic minds, that a supreme being had come down to punish them for something they had done. As they scurry about the ruins, looking sadly upon their dead families, their ruined hard work, all the rebuilding they will have to do, one of the ants will stand up on two of his back legs and announce certain rules they have to follow to be "saved", that is, not be kicked again. He will gain a following with his rules when the ants see that they have not been kicked again. The ant leaders, upset by this, will crucify him on an ant cross. His followers will revolt, and there will be ant wars for thousands of years over that anthill, resulting in arabic ants who sell ant oil. This is how organized religion starts. As I look at this, I realize this all could have been prevented by not stepping on that anthill. Then I douse them in orange juice, because I hate organized religion. And ants."
  • Current Music
    "Teenagers From Mars", The Misfits
i bit them

Religion is always funny!

deviousli gets metaphorical with The Difference Between Catholics and Protestants:

But, hey, we're not all that stringent. You can still try to re-enroll later with a direct appeal to the Dean Him/Her/Itself. If you find out you've hit the bottom before graduation day, you can turn around and start bringing that Catholic GPA up in no time. And, even if you never enrolled in any classes, as long as you haven't heard about the school before, you're still okay! We only don't like you if you've deliberately blown us off. (But by 'we' I mean 'technically, we're not supposed to but we still do'.)

You have to excuse some of us, though. There are people in the honors track that think they're better than all of the rest of the people at God College, and they're really... snobbish about it. The majority of us don't think that way at all, but they ruin it for everybody else. I mean, dude. We're all going to college, here, who cares exactly what you think of the Dean (if They are even there or not), yeah? Exactly.
Music - Tyson

"OMG YOU GUYS I'M A WALRUS!"

After finding out that Brandon Flowers, the lead singer of The Killers, got hitched to his girlfriend, manoosha's been having...trouble. Trouble dealing with the loss. Stolen from his journal, with permission:


I'm still coping. After drinking some cooking sherry, a fifth of vodka, liquid Tylenol and rubbing alcohol, I decided that turning to the bottle wasn't the best way to deal with my pain. No, at a time like this, the only answer is poetry. I can only hope that Brandon reads this and sees the error of his ways.

Brandon Flowers, your love was but a lie.
Really – some Urban Outfitters floozy??? I think I could die.
Ass babies, I promised to bear your ass babies!
Now Thundara Starr will never be born, and I hope you get rabies.
Don’t you remember the good times, the promises we made?
Our eyeliner swaps, the wannabes on whom we’d throw shade?
Now I have nothing to live for, and may consider suicide,
For it was me! Me! I was the future Mrs. Brightside!!!
Love means nothing now. I’m burning all of your couture outfits.
Over. Yeah, I said it – they’re over. Like all of your faux-80s new wave hits.
What? No, I didn’t mean that, Brandon, please don’t go!
Even if you’ve wronged me, to your smirk I cannot say no.
Remember our love! Spiky and messy, like the product in your hair!
Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend and it was ME!!! ME!!! NO I AM NOT CRAZY AND THIS RESTRAINING ORDER IS NOT FAIR!!!
  • Current Music
    "All These Things I Have Done" - The Killers
the dancing snape

Because Peanut Butter is Good.

irradiatedsoup is responsible for the drink-mark on my screen with This Post. The whole thing is funny, but this line stuck out to me:



I was joking about the hammock bit. Sorry. My coke is sugary and caffienatey, it makes me tell blatant lies. Like just now I was thinking how I should have written "Hey Johnny Depp totally looks like a felt creation" but that is just stupid really.


Context above. It makes much more sense that way. Trust me. Oh, just go and read the whole god-damn post, will you!
  • Current Mood
    amused WTF?
The Keyhole
  • xanath

Could be worse . . .

My friend Chantal (aerden) had to go to the ER last night for sharp pains in her side that brought on vomiting. The diagnosis was a kidney infection. Chantal, as usual, looked on the bright side:

I never want to have a kidney infection again. On the upside, I'm not pregnant, and I don't have diabetes. Go me.

Unfortunately, the rest of the post is locked, but she was happy to have that bit quoted.
  • Current Music
    "Black Magic Woman," Santana
Waiting game

The wonderful state that is Oklahoma

So there's a problem with the new Oklahoma quarters. It's a bit like the thing with the Wisconson ones (you know, printed with corn leaves going the wrong way or what have you). The design came from an OSU student and it's lovely, but the new Oklahoma quarters don't seem to be working in vending machines, toll booths, or other coin operated machines. Apparently the problem's source is the duct tape holding the dimes and nickel together.

--jennybunny in a rare unlocked post here.
K: Eeep, Eeep
  • kielle

Hellooooo...

Does anyone out there still remember me? Is anyone actually reading this? Has all of fandom been destroyed by the Third Wank War, complete with nuclear flames and epic kerfluffles and weapons of mass defriending, so that all that's left is post-apocalyptic fandom, with a few tragic, scarred survivors cowering in their bunkers, posting about the irritations of radiation zombie attacks and the way you kind of get to like spam after the first eight months?

-- thefourthvine
  • corinn

Sarcastic Fangirls Are Love

So, there was a big wankfest over at fm_alchemist, originating with some whiny child's emo ranting about how her life is over because someone tricked her into thinking she was chatting with the main character's English voice actor. The trail of wank is beautifully funny, but has, alas, been BUHLEETED to control the amount of attention on fandom_wank. However, I just could not let this gem die.


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  • Current Mood
    amused amused